Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

Oh bore off. Always one.

Both, actually.

You can't 'log' it, you can report it to police and they may investigate it

It may not be the correct terminology but I’m sure Op knows what I meant by saying “log it”.

For instance when I was younger I had a flatmate threaten me the week before I was due to move out and I “logged it” with the local police ie.

I reported it but asked them not to attend the premises in case of further escalation. I wanted to make them aware in case anything else happened and I had to defend myself. They said they’d keep a record of it for the meantime.

I'd just let it go, clearly she's insane and have nothing else to do with her.

And a photo of the man in question (I want to see what he looks like for someone to be getting themselves all unhinged over).

So not only is she a psychotic vandal, she's attempting to gaslight you into believing you did it yourself.. and you were both completely sober?
Scary to think how her mind works.
Keep well away from her. 🚩

I'd just reply,

"Not sure if you were dreaming or sleep walking but I 100% did not stumble last night. Stumbling against a console wouldn't contort metal jewellery out of shape. Hands do that.

The damage adds up to several hundred pounds so I'll be claiming it on my insurance, and to do that I'll be logging it with the police so there is a record of criminal damage. I'm not going to pursue charges but I am logging it so I can get my money back.

It goes without saying that unfortunately our friendship will not continue, I gave you the chance to be honest with me and you chose to create a fiction"

I'd also get there before her and let friends know what happened if you think she'll run first and make up a story painting you in a bad light, as guilty people often do.

Oh yes, this is a good one.

"Hi Steve, I had a very weird interaction with Susie the other day which I feel I ought to warn you about. She is interested in you and she thinks I am too. I told her we are just friends but she didn't believe me. Anyway, things got a bit weird and then after I went to bed (she was staying in my guest room) she deliberately damaged my jewellery that was lying out on the table. She is denying all knowledge, but there's no other way it could have happened. Needless to say I think she is absolutely bonkers and our friendship is over, but just in case you were thinking of getting involved with her, I thought you ought to know about this."

What a psychopath!! Just bluff that you’ve caught her on camera!
I’d say: what a shame for you that I have cameras in my house. Never lie to me again.
I’m calling the police.

You need to keep texting until she admits it. Ask her why she did it. Was it out of spite after the conversation about the man and etc. Just lean and lean and lean on her. If you can get her to admit it, you can get it all repaired and take her to court (if she doesn't pay up without). Don't tell her you never want to see her again just yet as she will have nothing to lose and will clam up.

I would tell her that your security camera of the hallway says otherwise and she owes you £300 or you will be handing over footage to the Police and she will end up with a criminal record for destruction of property. That's your best chance of recovering the value of the damages. Either way the friendship is done.

Yikes.

She isn’t a friend and clearly has issues to do something as unhinged as bend jewellery out of shape, piece by piece. And then to gaslight you afterwards.

Knocking into a console table (which you are certain you didn’t do), wouldn’t bend jewellery.

OP, did you mention in your first message to her that your jewellery is broken? Because if you didn't, it's a bit suspicious that she knew it was broken, rather than lost/ missing/ in a different place.

"Well, I doubt if the police or small claims court will believe that rubbish any more than I do. You owe me £300 for replacement."

@JustMyView13both!

Lying that there is video evidence / seeking a text confession are silly ideas.

I'd be telling your mutual friend before she has a chance to make his life Misery

If she gets a text confession she can take her to the small claims court.

She’s a nutter! Block her, report via 101 incase this escalates and warn the guy. I wouldn’t engage further and would accept that I’m not getting the money back. Maybe buy a new toothbrush incase she swished it round the toilet or something!

Warn your make mutual friend of your friend’s behaviour

So @Bunnyboilerfriend said “what happened” and immediately the response is “I didn’t break it”

So she knows it’s been broken. (I read my Poirot, I know all the ways they give themselves away 🤣)

She also made up a lie which you are both going to know is a lie, and not even doubt it because of booze. I have to agree with pp, she does sound completely unhinged. How long have you known her? Has she always had this characteristic? I would cut her off; but take it further if she’s broken anything with real value (to you- my wedding ring is worth less than £300 but I would be devastated if anything happened to it).

Marry the mutual friend, that’ll teach her!

I’d reply with “that’s not what the hallway camera shows. I just wanted to give you a chance to explain, I’ve now got some thinking to do”
I’d also tell the man she’s after and all mutual friends what she did.

she’s deranged and lying.
a fib about a camera isn’t going to change that.

Christ, yes.

Can you imagine being in a relationship with this person?

Of course they wouldn't be interested, but could be worth it as a message to the friend that what she did was criminal damage.