To have not shared the chips?

[TommyAndGinaAreHalfWayThere]

We went to see a band last night and I drove as I don’t drink. On the way back we stopped off to get a takeaway. Just kebab and chips. As soon as we got back in car with takeaway DP opens the chips and starts scoffing them. I kept saying “can you at least wait until we get home?? We’re 5 minutes away!” And he said “I’m only having a few”.

By time we got home only half bag of chips remained (probably even less) so I put them all on my plate and just put a kebab on his.

He inevitably reacted with shock and horror asking where his chips were so I said “in your stomach”. He insisted he’d only had a couple, more than half of the bag was gone. He “demanded” that I share the chips, I refused. He went in a mood.

He does this all the time, can’t possibly wait 5 minutes until we get home, has to start eating immediately whilst I’m driving. Normally I share what’s left but after repeatedly asking him to stop, I refused this time. He said I was being petty. I said he’d rude to start tucking into a shared meal before I can join in. Who is right?

He does the same with popcorn at the cinema, huge handfuls so now I buy separate. Even then he has the cheek to start digging into mine when his is empty.

This sounds like my tight bastard uncle who munches his way through anything left lying around at Christmas gatherings whilst contributing nothing, chomping loudly and making annoying mmm mmm noises. He can’t stop himself and is so unaware that most of the other adults present are all watching him in disgust.

Dump.

I got down a rabbit hole on Reddit the other week about the exact same issue!! There were hundreds of posts of women talking about their male partners eating everything, being selfish and thinking they were most important and needed more/all of the food. A lot of women were disclosing that this was used as a form of abuse - the partners depriving them of food by eating it all. It’s a lot more common than we realise. I’m not saying this is the case for @TommyAndGinaAreHalfWayThere but as a minimum, it’s selfish and greedy behaviour. OP your partner needs a reality check as this isn’t appropriate behaviour to have and quite frankly a huge turn off. A loving partner would offer their food to you and make sure your needs are met, not the other way around.

Is 'buy more chips' the new 'cancel the cheque'?

It's just good life advice in general. More chips!

its not the point if its chips kebab or whatever hes selfish and thinks he deserves more than his partner

how old is he op

thinks he deserves more than his partner

This. He thinks he’s more deserving of food than you.

My exh was a bit like that. If we’d get a takeaway he’d be very much of the mindset “oh we mustn’t over order”.

But then when the food came, he’d be yomphing into everything before I’d had a chance to sit down. Putting more than his share on his plate, eating at break neck speed to make sure he got more of the food.

OP said that she drove because she doesn’t drink - not that he can’t drive.

I literally went through all the replies because I wanted to be the first 😁.

My partner does similar. I’ve really got to grips with portion sizes (my mum was a feeder) so I’ll make sure when prepping food there’ll be no waste, unless we intend to have leftovers for the next day. My partner will start eating the raw veg and says “just put less on my plate when it’s cooked”. Fine, but then when I’m prepping food for just myself or another person in the house, he’ll help himself to that too. There’s always plenty of food in! I’ve even said “I’m making myself a chicken salad, want one?” He’ll say no, so I’ll prep just the right amount for me, then he picks at it!

But if you have a partner you know is ‘greedy’ then this makes no sense.

It was just a suggestion!

This would give me the major ick. I don't allow eating in the car anyway but everything else you have said - just no.

When I saw the title I was going to say YABU, now I read it, YANBU! Also is he a woman? Order your own chips DH!! My DH is very much "Joey doesn't share food" and if I say I only want a few, he will still order me my own 😆

I do, I have a 17yo DD.

I think I've managed to not pass on my weirdness around food to her, she seems to have fairly healthy eating habits.

There was one hairy moment when she was around six. I'd gotten used to being able to snack on her leftovers when out for a meal, because she never managed to finish what was on her plate. Anyway, she was demolishing this pizza that seemed like it was way to big for her, and I caught myself pressuring her not to finish it. "You can stop if your full you know." "You won't have any room left for dessert". That sort of thing. And I realised it wasn't because I was worried she'd make herself ill, it was purely because I was eying up some pizza. So, that meant another rule added to the list. Food on her plate was always off limits, even if she's finished.

We have talked about my food issues a couple of times over the past year or so. Once in a conversation about my Dad (the food stuff is the tip of the iceberg with him), and once when I was diagnosed with diabetes at the end of last year.

Buy two portions of chips

Why are you badgering the poor woman?

It's not so much about not sharing, it's about wanting to "claim" food. My issues stem from food being taken from me and not being able to do anything about it. e.g. my Dad taking things off my plate, or eating an entire Easter egg once I've gone to bed.

As a result I always have an urge to make sure I'm "winning" at claiming food. I want to have the bigger plateful, I want my snacks to be safe on my shelf, with a chinese takeaway I have a constant tally going in my head of how many springrolls are mine, who's eaten what and am I going to get my fair share. Even in a shop buying a meal deal, if I buy a mars bar then it has to be the king size, crisps have to be the grab bag. That's the urge I'm constantly having to fight.

Once the food is claimed, I'm fine. At that point I'll happily share. DP and DD are fine to have some food off my plate, because I know they'll ask first. I don't mind if they want a Wagon Wheel out of the 6 pack on my shelf, because I know they know they're mine, so they'd never take the piss, or take the last one.

Basically, ask for a chip off my plate, and I'll happily give you half of them. Take it without asking, and you're liable to get a fork through your hand.

Surely it won't break the bank to buy more chips, given they're as cheap as....

This was your warning. He's a greedy bastard. What's attractive about this man?