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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not shared the chips?

210 replies

TommyAndGinaAreHalfWayThere · 22/05/2025 16:26

We went to see a band last night and I drove as I don’t drink. On the way back we stopped off to get a takeaway. Just kebab and chips. As soon as we got back in car with takeaway DP opens the chips and starts scoffing them. I kept saying “can you at least wait until we get home?? We’re 5 minutes away!” And he said “I’m only having a few”.

By time we got home only half bag of chips remained (probably even less) so I put them all on my plate and just put a kebab on his.

He inevitably reacted with shock and horror asking where his chips were so I said “in your stomach”. He insisted he’d only had a couple, more than half of the bag was gone. He “demanded” that I share the chips, I refused. He went in a mood.

He does this all the time, can’t possibly wait 5 minutes until we get home, has to start eating immediately whilst I’m driving. Normally I share what’s left but after repeatedly asking him to stop, I refused this time. He said I was being petty. I said he’d rude to start tucking into a shared meal before I can join in. Who is right?

He does the same with popcorn at the cinema, huge handfuls so now I buy separate. Even then he has the cheek to start digging into mine when his is empty.

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 22/05/2025 17:24

This was one of the reasons for me getting divorced. The underlying traits regarding selfishness and greed around food are disrespect towards their partner in general as he doesn't view you as a person with your own needs and/or wants. It also doesn't bode well if you have children together as his wants are higher than even the babies/children. Eventually you will become angry and frustrated with him most of the time. It's a relationship killer.

PlacidPenelope · 22/05/2025 17:24

Greedy, selfish, entitled and moody - very unattractive character traits.

You are not unreasonable @TommyAndGinaAreHalfWayThere I couldn't put up with that behaviour it would turn me cold.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 22/05/2025 17:24

Gluttony is so unattractive.

Onedayiwillsomething · 22/05/2025 17:25

Cinema- buy one portion and ask for 2 boxes and just split it.

again in the chippy, ask them to measure out a portion and then split it and wrap them separately.

I lived with this with my ex taking one man handful and I’d take a piece. Excellent diet, but annoying as fuck (particularly as I was paying for everything)

SwanOfThoseThings · 22/05/2025 17:26

If he has form for this, why don't you get separate portions?

BunnyLake · 22/05/2025 17:32

Anewemail · 22/05/2025 16:28

If you two do stick together because neither can be arsed to finish it… stop sharing food

Or buy more chips.

ThatCyanCat · 22/05/2025 17:35

I'm no teeny tiny and I love my food. It would piss me off, not because I mind sharing but because it just shows a complete lack of respect, or care that I should get my fair share. I'd have to just keep everything separate, if it wasn't a sign of selfishness deeper in the relationship too (but I expect it is).

ThatCyanCat · 22/05/2025 17:40

If he had the bag open the whole way back, then your chips were probably going cold by the time you got them too. It must have been messy if they weren't wrapped as open, which I assume they weren't if the plan was to eat when you got home. It's unappealing in a relationship.

Foreverexhausted1 · 22/05/2025 17:40

My DH can be like this sometimes. He acts like he hasn't been fed for a week. It disgusts and annoys me too. I wouldn't have shared the chips either!

diddl · 22/05/2025 17:41

He went in a mood because he'd eaten his food & you wouldn't give him some of yours?

Bloody hell!

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 22/05/2025 17:42

My DH is like this so unfortunately I have to match his pace. There’s never any popcorn left by the time the film starts. You both need to have your own portion of chips.

Hoppinggreen · 22/05/2025 17:42

You did share the chips though, he just ate his sooner

butteredhorseradish · 22/05/2025 17:43

Two portions of chips next time.

Inertia · 22/05/2025 17:43

This would really piss me off.

He's calling you petty because he can't stand the fact that you've stood up to him this time.

Does he have other redeeming features which make you want to stay with him?If so , you're going to need to use practical solutions. Buy your own food separately, even if you think it's too much to eat in one go, so there are no arguments over whose is whose. Put your food in the boot. Get him to take turns with driving.

Ellie56 · 22/05/2025 17:44

You did share the chips.

Pig Face scoffed his half in the car and showed you massive disrespect in the process.

Mimilamore · 22/05/2025 17:46

I have this all the time, even when I lay dishes of food on the table to share when plates come over..taken to smacking his paws off now, don’t care!!

PullTheBricksDown · 22/05/2025 17:48

What's the bet this greedy git doesn't drive either?

diddl · 22/05/2025 17:48

Why have posters stayed with men like this?

godmum56 · 22/05/2025 17:50

Doingtheboxerbeat · 22/05/2025 17:22

"Joey doesn't share food".

You beat me to it.

Sgtmajormummy · 22/05/2025 17:52

Alcohol lowers self control so I’d put 10% of the blame for his behavior (gluttony and over reaction) down to that.
The rest is his, especially the repetition.

PorgyandBess · 22/05/2025 17:53

I’d find the gobbling of the chips in the car unbelievably unattractive.

I’d also think a relationship where you’re reduced to squabbling over chips is somewhat awful.

Scout2016 · 22/05/2025 18:00

No you aren't being unreasonable. You shouldn't have to buy 2 of everything just because he can't share. It's a very unattractive trait. Hopefully he'll take some steps to rectify it.
If he actually wants a full size portion to himself then he needs to stop pretending to want to share.

Would he do this with friends, and does he just hoover up everything at a buffet?

My DH has tendencies towards this but some awareness and will say "take this away from me before I eat it all" and hand over the popcorn or whatever it is we are sharing. It would really get to me if made no effort at all to curb it.

Bloozie · 22/05/2025 18:00

If you're fighting over chips, it doesn't matter who's being unreasonable - you're not in the right shaped relationship for you.

I'd have done the same as you.

LatteLady · 22/05/2025 18:00

Frankly, if he was sat at my table he would have been rapped over his knuckles with a piece of cutlery, greed around food is singularly unattatractive. I am with Smithy on this, you order for you and nobody else -

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knittasgonna · 22/05/2025 18:01

YANBU. As a one-off, I'd be annoyed and tell him so. As a regular occurrence, I'd be considering whether his good traits outweigh the bad. If they do, I'd start ordering separately or divvying up the food right away... or possibly putting it somewhere that he can't get at it until you're both ready to eat. But seriously, that's ridiculous! I'd expect to have to do that with a young child or a dog, not my partner. I think ultimately I'd just have to tell him that it annoyed me so greatly that I was questioning the relationship and see if that wakes him up to how unattractive his behaviour has been.