Renting my property to husband’s ex

[literati]

Name change for this post as some details are quite outing. For context My husband and I have been married for 8 years, I have one daughter from my first marriage and he has two daughters with his ex wife, all kids are early to mid teens, my DD lives with us 12/14 nights and my step DDs are with us 50/50. Our blended family works really well, the girls are very close, go to the same school and have mutual friends. Co-parenting with our respective ex’s is pretty amicable and we all live within 15 minutes of each other.

Now on to my dilemma, after dropping the girls off to his ex wife’s house, the girls Mum has told him that her landlord has given her notice to quit her lease and she is really struggling to find somewhere to rent that she can afford. She is single and working full time in a relatively low paid role so I totally get that it is really tough for her. My husband pays her maintenance weekly at £200 pw even though we have 50/50 care as he earns much more than her, no issue with this. I own a rental property in our town which I purchased before I met my husband there is no mortgage on it. My husband has asked if I would rent it to her for below market rent to help her out. Property is currently being let out but lease ends in September. On one hand I totally understand why he wants to help her the girls need a stable home and there is a housing crisis, on the other I am nervous to get involved in business/ finances with his ex, seems a bit too entangled. Wwyd in this situation?

They already have that influence, they also have their mum who is present and able to spend time with them.
Honestly ridiculous to suggest taking teen girls from a loving mum because of wage. Even if she didn't work at all it would mess them up taking them away if she's not a bad mum. There's more to life than money.

@literati I am just shocked that dh pays ex 200 per week when care is 50/50!! why does he pay that much when he really shouldnt be paying anything at all??? that is just below 1k per month!!

@literati Maybe the girls can live ft with you then until mum has found something to rent? Because sofasurfing or staying with relatives can be done until she has found something. I would let her rent your property tbh. She's trustworthy and you have your income secured and these are your dsc. It's really tough for single mothers so I think it would be nice of you to give her some help since you are wealthy.

Easy to say when someone else’s labour is providing most of the money.

My instant reaction to as a ‘hard pass’

What utter nonsense. The OP is providing an affordable home for her tenants, not “contributing to the housing crisis.”

@literati can I take it the ex is now working full time considering her children are mid teens? has she thought about looking for another job after hours that could help her earn more money??

how long have you been married / together and how old are all the kids

he seems to have landed on his feet massively with you and your inheritances

he wants you take a 500 a month hit for his ex wife
so that’s roughly 6k a year
say she stays for 10 years that’s a 60k hit your taking min
not to mention if you have to do any major stuff like a new boiler / windows

he seems to be very free and easy with your money / assets

You don’t even want your DH to be a guarantor on a different property for her
he has ( you said ) an interest / percentage in. the property you live in

a a landlord and a court could easily secure a ccj against your husband if the ex don’t or can’t pay at any time they could put a charge on his share of your house

Nope - not in a million years. Ever.

I don’t want to go into specifics about the kids ages etc as I don’t want to out myself but all three girls are early to mid teens and I’ve been with my DH for 8 years. I’ve had a quick look online at rental vacancies in our town in her price range and I’ll be honest it’s pretty grim with very little choice and the quality of these places is frankly shit. I can’t believe the prices some owners are charging for these mould infested dumps. She would most likely have to rent a two bed as there is precisely zero three beds within a 30 mile radius of the kids school that she could afford. I think perhaps I’ve been a bit blind to how bad it really is with the lack of affordable decent options in our area. Pragmatism tells me that there are too many potential pitfalls if I agree to this. But on the other hand I am deeply uncomfortable with the idea of my SC living in a shitty 3rd floor flat sharing a mouldy room.

Then you should boost her budget rather than renting your property to her. xx

No. She has 50/50 care and he is paying maintenance. She can get a second job if she’s struggling on the income she has.

The reason I said @literati about building a granny annexe or let her move in to your home is because your H has basically asked if you will keep his ex for life in a rental you own. As you said yourself, once DC go off to Uni and leave home, she won’t even be able to afford a discounted amount of rent. A loss of 60 thousand in 10 years plus you will be paying for your step children’s university fees is a lot of money, I’m amazed he has even asked! Next he will be asking you to sign over the deeds to her!

If you do go down this route then you need to get specialist advice to make sure they won't count you and your DH as one legal unit.

You cannot claim housing costs if you are renting from the other parent of your children.

Whilst you keep everything separate from your DH with your rentals finances you need to be sure that UC will view it the same.

I rented a property to my cousin (didn't actually know she was my cousin at first) through a scheme where she was introduced to me by a housing officer. They knew my set up was proper as they'd vetted it all for the scheme. When we realised that she was my cousin and she told them it took 14 weeks (during which they froze her housing benefit) to "investigate" and decide it was fine.

I'm shocked by some of the responses, especially against the mum and suggesting the kids shouldn't live with her. Talk about derailing a thread.

I would have said no to renting to ex, but on reflection, it might be the best course of action here. The girls are family. This way they remain nearby and have a decent place to call home. Is there any way of approaching this as a medium term rental. As in, until all children at Uni or out of full time education? After which you will be looking for market rent, she will have to give up her lease?

Appreciate, I have no idea how difficult it would be to ask her to leave/increase rent when the time comes.

Maybe suggest renting to her on the condition that the extra £200 ceases in lieu. But appreciate that might also be tricky.

OP I’ve tried to rtft but does your DH have the capacity/means to purchase a property himself that he could then rent to her? It would mean that the girls have something to inherit, they all have somewhere to live that can be subsidised at his wish as it’s affecting his own pocket and you’re not the fall guy.

If tenants want lease to be renewed, would your H want his ex to move in with you? To help her out? Or for you to build a granny annexe?

Bloody hell. Why are men never expected to
house their wife’s ex-husband? Why is it always women?

The money has nothing to do with the children's right to a relationship with both parents.
If the mum is working part time and getting UC that would be enough to live off without maintenance depending on area, so another alternative would be moving somewhere less expensive. But that would also not be beneficial if it reduced contact with dad.
If finances allow it then staying in the more expensive area and the children maintaining contact with the parent who is earning less and available to parent more of the time as well as the parent working full time would be the most beneficial to the children.

Going against the grain here, but I would do it. DH to pay you instead of child maintenance payments might be a good solution.

I’m pretty sure that landlord insurance will not cover if you are renting to friends/family at a rate so significantly under market value. Also how does this impact your tax situation? It sounds very simple as a solution to your DH I’m guessing, but not in practice and aside from the family dynamics it would be a legal/regulatory nightmare.

Why would she stop paying rent ?

That’s what I thought.

Your gut is right, it's potentially kinder to all of you not to facilitate this situation in order not to put the relationship at risk. However if you live in an area where the rental market is anything like where I am then I fully understand the choices she will be looking at and that you don't want the DC to have to live like that when you potentially have the key to preventing it.

You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't so you need to go for the least worst option. You sound financially comfortable, I'd agree to increase the £200 per week to something which will enable them to attain a reasonable place to live for a specified amount of time, rather than have them in your rental property and risk that going wrong.

For heaven’s sake, now you’re just enjoying the drama. Just get your dh to guarantee his ex-wife’s rent and the problem’s solved. If she pays her rent, his guarantee will have cost him nothing and you will have avoided a huge mistake.

Rentals are not affordable unless they are council housing rates.
Rentals are about 50% higher than mortgages in our area, and that then contributes to the cycle of not being able to afford deposits as well as inflated prices because of lack of houses available.
Noone is being a landlord to help out tenants, it's to make profit. Our neighbours who rent have a smaller property than us and pay £500 more a month than our mortgage.