Renting my property to husband’s ex

[literati]

Name change for this post as some details are quite outing. For context My husband and I have been married for 8 years, I have one daughter from my first marriage and he has two daughters with his ex wife, all kids are early to mid teens, my DD lives with us 12/14 nights and my step DDs are with us 50/50. Our blended family works really well, the girls are very close, go to the same school and have mutual friends. Co-parenting with our respective ex’s is pretty amicable and we all live within 15 minutes of each other.

Now on to my dilemma, after dropping the girls off to his ex wife’s house, the girls Mum has told him that her landlord has given her notice to quit her lease and she is really struggling to find somewhere to rent that she can afford. She is single and working full time in a relatively low paid role so I totally get that it is really tough for her. My husband pays her maintenance weekly at £200 pw even though we have 50/50 care as he earns much more than her, no issue with this. I own a rental property in our town which I purchased before I met my husband there is no mortgage on it. My husband has asked if I would rent it to her for below market rent to help her out. Property is currently being let out but lease ends in September. On one hand I totally understand why he wants to help her the girls need a stable home and there is a housing crisis, on the other I am nervous to get involved in business/ finances with his ex, seems a bit too entangled. Wwyd in this situation?

This. Why doesnt: he buy a property and put her in it?

I’m a landlord.
On every forum I belong to the answer is “ never rent to family or friends.”
Dont! Just don’t!

If I were in your shoes I definitely wouldn’t get involved- it would be very difficult (almost impossible) to end that arrangement.
If he is able to financially and it wouldn’t impact any joint finances that you have I would be more likely to suggest that he helps more financially with her rent.

Is she the ex who asked if you/your DH would be guarantors for her?

Does she claim everything she can? Universal credit help out a lot with rent if you are Uknon a low income.

I don’t think UC would have an issue her renting from me, the house is in my name not my husbands and I have no legal connection to his kids or ex. But I just don’t want the responsibility tbh. I think being on UC is what is messing it up for her, most landlords won’t take tenants who receive the housing element of UC for insurance reasons. House prices have skyrocketed in our area (London commuter belt) and now renters are being squeezed out.

Also I think some posters are being a bit harsh on DH, he is a very good man who cares about the welfare of his kids mother. He is not taking advantage of me financially, we have a prenup that he suggested (I know they are not necessarily legally enforceable) that protects my inheritance and rental property. Our marital home is owned in unequal shares as I bought the house outright but he funded some major renovations to extend it and make it liveable, this has increased the value of the house significantly.

This is all my DHs idea by the way, his ex has not outright asked this of me, but I think she is hoping we will be able to assist in some way. We could look into being a guarantor for her and maybe giving her a couple hundred extra a month but as it is we fund the vast majority of expenses for my step DDs. We treat the kids the same in our house and my daughter gets to do extracurriculars, has an allowance and driving lessons, so my Step DC should have the same, that is fair, but that means we pay for it as it’s our choice.

The step children live with you full time? Not ideal but you could offer it so she’s not trying to find a 3 bedroom place.
I think apps have missed you’re giving her 200 a week not a month. That’s equivalent to a salary bump of at least 12k for her so she can’t be that broke on top of full time work and benefits. Stay out of it. You (he) have an obligation to the children not the mother and it won’t work to have her in your property when they leave home and the benefits and extra 12k stop.

Speak to any solicitor who deals with evictions, and their worst stories are from people who were known to the landlord. I think it’s a tough one, but you have to protect your own interests in this scenario.
You’d be better off renting your place out at market rate to a reputable Tennant, and DH increasing the maintenance he pays to his children’s mother. Much cleaner.

Your H wanting to help out his ex is understandable but not at your expense, it has the risk of causing resentment which will leak into your marriage and within your blended family. What happens when the rental property needs repairs? You could be expected to replace the whole kitchen/bathroom over a leaky tap etc as H would sugar coat it to you as you adding more value to your property and if you don’t, you will be always be the bad guy. So not only would you be losing money on the rent each month that you’ve earmarked for your DD, it would end up costing you much more! Your marriage and relationship with SC. He’s trying to piggy back his Ex into your own finances! I’m guessing without your inheritance he wouldn’t be able to pay £800 to his ex every four weeks so easily? I would tell him that your rental property is business and if he really wants to help out his ex, he can buy a property of his own to rent to them.

She's a grown woman and she's already recieving £800 a month from her ex husband that he doesn't need to give her. She should think herself pretty lucky tbh. She needs to sort her own self out.

I agree with PP. The best bet is to see if you can help in a different way as guarantor or providing some up front cash for deposit or similar.
Getting her to rent the property will end up causing problems for all the reasons pp suggested.

You could look at it as helping out your step-daughters rather than her. Also if she can't afford something else, then she may have to move to a different town which would make your husband's life more difficult.

If you have a good relationship and think she would be a good tennant< I would.

I would do if they agreed in writing that your husband pays the rent to you instead of the maintenance to his ex. Which means no chance of her not paying and no awkwardness around it.

Can you even evict your current tenant without a reason?

That would be a firm no from me for all the same reasons other posters have mentioned. Your husband could increase HIS monthly payments to his ex to cover any increase in housing costs she faces but expecting you to subsidise her with below market rent in your investment isn't the way. As someone else posted what do you do if she stops paying the rent, are you going to evict her and step kids? It has stealth potential for disaster written all over it.

Never, EVER, mix business and personal relationships.

It's a very firm Hell No from me.

Nah just don’t don’t do it
if you want to sour relations with your SD and his Ex go ahead
can you honestly say you would be able to evict her not just now but in the future

what about if she wants to completely redecorate get a dog move in a new partner

what if you and your DH split up and you need to sell

what happens when your SD are older and she can no longer claim UC for them and possibly no longer able to afford the rent
are you going to evict her
the child element and rent is a huge huge chunk of UC and if she can’t afford the rent once her kids are off the claim then what will you do
how do you think your SK are going to treat your when you start the process of evicting their mother

you sound lovely ( if not a bit to soft 😂) your DH and his kids are already massively benefiting from your generosity and I would hedge a bet taking you for granted even to suggest this

Your SK will always always prioritize their mum over you no matter how lovely and helpful you are

you have no idea if they feel any resentment to you and your daughter for any wealth disparity even if you try to even it up

you only have to read the thread one the SD who won’t let her father walk her Stepsister down the aisle on her wedding day
it’s blindsided the OP who has said she had no idea how much resentment the daughter must have towards her and her father

No so many things could do wrong. It's working as it is now. Don't make this more complicated. Yanbu

Absolutely not, from experience I know that renting a property from someone you know makes the whole thing much more fractious (on both sides). On the face of it, it sounds like it will be much more pleasant to deal with people you know, but money complicates any relationship so this would be a big messy no from me.

Of course you should do it - you are extremely fortunate yourself in financial terms due to your inheritance, and to me it goes without saying you would share some of that good fortune with your husband's children, if you love him. ..

But of course this forum has a huge right wing bias, so you will be told never to do anything that doesn't financially benefit yourself, almost as if selfishness is a moral imperative.....

In truth, if I was your husband, and you had a house you could offer my kids and refused to do so, I would be unable to move on from that and would divorce you. I hope he doesn't feel as strongly about it as I do, as you don't sound like a heartless woman actually - just one who is being influenced by some very ruthless capitalist ideology.....

LLs can still evict tenants for any number of reasons, selling being one of them & the new rules on EPCs, if any, aren't coming in until 2030, atm looking like Labour wont be voted in again.

Anything that makes LLs sell up is rather stupid, considering no alternatives.

@literati You are already incredibly invested in the relationship with your partner, his ex and his children.

So long as there is a valid tenancy agreement, the rent is market value and its made 100% clear this is a business arrangement & not forever, there is no reason not to rent to her, put your foot down on the amount of rent payable, you re not a charity.

How would your partner and children feel if you don't rent to her, she cannot find anything local, moves further away and/or is in financial hardship?

This.

What the fuck is she playing at!?

I feel for your DH whose is obviously trying to fix a difficult situation.
In principle it does sound sound like a bad idea but also she might be a really good tenant who pays rent and can take care of your property on a longer lease or until you need to sell. Do you know if she is?
I would be really clear though you expect references, credit checks and a proper contract.

No.

If you are going to take a financial hit of paying less rent, if he wanted I would pay more maintenance, this would allow her to rent somewhere else.

This would be a lot less messy than moving her into your house.

I love how you make sure your SC and child are treated exactly the same, it sounds like an amazing blended family.
You say the money from your rental goes into a separate bank account for your daughter’s future university fees, car etc, what happens when SC goes to uni and wants first car? Is your H putting away money for them? Or is his spare money just going on maintenance? I ask this because if you are going to pay for university fees for all of the children then you need full amount of rent money from your property. Are you being asked for the amount in your separate account to be subsidised for your daughter’s future and having to pay for SC future too?