Not picked as bridesmaids out of a 3 way friendship

[ThisDearPearlBee]

Hello,

AIBU? I am really close with two friends, we’ve been close for some time now and we do everything together, we go shopping together, out for meals and we have a group chat and message continuously. I’ve always felt that we were equally as close as a three, and been told multiple times by the friend in question Friend A, that we are all best friends together and she could tell us anything and everything. I’ve found out, through my other friend, Friend B, that Friend A has chosen her to be a bridesmaid, it’s then put over Instagram. I’ve had nothing since but radio silence from Friend A, no message explaining or anything. We do everything as a 3 and I am SO hurt that she didn’t feel like she could at least message me before or after to even lie and say that she would’ve loved to have us both as bridesmaids but couldn’t. I feel super hurt and like I’ve totally misjudged the entire friendship. Friend B feels awkward and now I feel like it’s just changed everything for me. I am so hurt, not about being a bridesmaid, but not even having a message to soften the blow… AIBU?

NO!!

Jesus!

I said she had to communicate with her friend why she hadn't asked her

I am not questioning how many B/Ms she has or who she has but you don't leave one supposed friend out without an explanation

I’ve had this - SIL who none of us knew that well asked my sister but not me, which felt kind of weird. No major age gap, all in our late 20s.
Then somebody I had considered a really good friend didn’t choose me. I was upset but like others say, realised she didn’t see me as much as a close friend. I still went to the wedding and had a great time despite being put on a table full of couples 😱 when there was a table full of other single people!! 😂

posted too soon, in your case I would ask friend as it’ll cast a shadow over your friendship whatever you do so you might as well tell her you are hurt.

posted too soon, in your case I would ask friend as it’ll cast a shadow over your friendship whatever you do so you might as well tell her you are hurt.

Bloody phone, sorry.

That’s not how your comment read. She doesn’t have to communicate anything but I’m sure they will speak about it but Op doesn’t need an advanced warning

Again, I kinda disagree. In the context of a close 3 friendship, I think it would be only right to give some kind of explanation. It just feels terribly personal and inconsiderate to pick one friend over the other.

It’s fine to disagree, everyone handles situations how they want to. What might be right to one could be wrong to another

Yeah, absolutely. It’s a funny one isn’t it, because on the one hand, I can now see why you don’t need to explain or justify it, but on the other hand, I feel it’s the polite and sensitive thing to do for a friend…

Any update @ThisDearPearlBee ?