DD keeps asking to go home whilst on holiday

[FairPlayer274]

I suppose I already know I’m BU, but I guess I just wanted to talk about it…

I took DD, who turns 4 next month, on a 10 day trip to California to visit my long-lost grandmother/her great grandmother (with whom I immediately felt comfortable, and with whom DD immediately fell in love), and then to go hiking/camping in the mountains of Sequoia, Kings Canyon, and Yosemite National Parks.

We’ve been swimming where there’s been opportunity, even though the water’s been pretty cold (though DD didn’t want to get out any time we went in. That child loves to swim!) In between, we also stopped in Fresno to tour the underground gardens and visit the zoo (where she got to feed the giraffes and pet some sting rays!), and tomorrow, as we make our way back to Los Angeles for our flight home, I plan on stopping to do an alpine rail coaster thing, and have dinner with GM again.

We’ve been sleeping in a pretty spacious tent on a blow-up mattress, with a sleeping bag rated for -6C/20F weather, with layers and layers of clothing on when it’s been cold at night (it got down to 1C/34F at one point, but I still felt comfortable, and DD wasn’t complaining of cold so I figure she was comfortable as well). I’ve carried her in her special backpack for most of the hiking, as she hasn’t wanted to walk much. I think we’ve been eating pretty decently too, with fruits, veggies, protein, carbs, and healthy fats at every meal, and many of the foods DD usually eats at home (though we’ve only had cooked foods when visiting GM and once at a restaurant after a long hike) and fresh water on hand at all time.

Hygiene could probably be a bit better; we haven’t showered at every opportunity because it’s a huge hassle and there hasn’t been hot water everywhere, but we’ve showered a few times and baby wiped with camping soap and shampoo every night we didn’t shower. Got to do laundry this morning, right as we ran out of clean clothing, too. We’ve had sunscreen and bug spray and such, and toys and books and crayons for the car and flights.

And we’ve called our family members any time we’ve had cell service… but I think she still misses everyone back home, including our dogs. (She talks about the dogs to strangers at every opportunity, and there’s been a lot of dogs to pet.) She started asking to go home on day 6, and has been getting more insistent (well, now, demanding/crying) that we go home. We have a whole list of things we’re going to do when we get back: ride bikes, make ice pops, go to the pool, take a bath, watch TV, hug Daddy, go to school, etc.

I’m sure the upset of her usual routine and the sudden withdrawal from screens has been hard on her, but I thought I was doing a good thing by getting her outside to see all the beauty of the natural world, and I worked really hard to make sure we were comfortable the whole time. I thought we were having fun and spending time together, like we did on our 10 day hiking trip that we took when she was 2 1/2 yo… but I guess maybe this time it’s different. I’m feeling a bit like a shit parent over it, and for having her stick it out to the end instead of eating the cost of our reservations and flying home early.

I guess maybe shorter trips, in the future? And we probably ought to convince DH to come, too.

She’s 3!!! Who knows what she might like in the future? Not many dc are discerning at 3.

Rockpooling is where you potter about exploring the little sea water pools left in rocks at the coast, looking at shells or crabs or fish or seaweed or whatever else you find. We used to spend hours doing it as kids whenever we were at the beach!

Your trip sounds incredible, I bet your daughter will love looking back at a photo album of it. What an amazing adventure for a little one, even if it's a bit tough-going at times. Good luck with the rest of your trip!

Yeah you’re right OP I said sub zero (who uses Kelvin as a temp measure) and you said 1 degree. That two degree difference clearly makes all the difference to not feeling cold 🤦‍♀️

Sub zero in fahrenheit is >32 degrees below freezing, so

She had as much as she wanted to eat. There are calorically dense foods that can be eaten cold

Ah man sounds amazing would you be available to carry me and cater for my every whim too next time you go?

I have a 10 year old and every time I do something nice for her, theatre, holiday, you name it she has a massive meltdown and I always joke with my sister that it’s thrown back in my face. My niece is the same with her.

new experiences are amazing for kids but also quite hard for them to process.

Hot meals warm you up! More satisfying. It’s not just about calories.

3yos like their routine, that's all.

But this is clearly your special trip that she's been dragged along on.

I you were able to prove something was sub zero kelvin you would win a nobel prize and upend nearly everything we understand about the universe.

It’s been a long time since I learned anything about degrees Kelvin

In my experience kids don't really do scenery. They do what they are doing.

Comedian Billy Connelly tells a story of touring the Scottish Highlands in a campervan. He made a dragons nest with dragons eggs. Later when asking his kids what they remember they said, "The Muppet Movie," the film they'd watched on the portable DVD player.

We once did a great cycling holiday in France, cycling togther through salt marshes and olive groves, beautiful beaches, lunch in a town square with a vintage carousel and a local wedding spilling in to have photos, dinner on a habour woth a brass ensemble, an amazing aquarium.

What did my kids go on about for years? "Mum remember that hotel we stayed in with the kitchen in the bedroom? That was so cool."

You just can't make memories fb style as you can't control what they remember. I would have forgotten the anonymous hotel room that so impressed them.

Mine are young adults now. They all like scenery. Two prefer a nice stroll in a pretty place that involves a pub lunch or a nice coffee shop. They all like a city break. Two would still drop everything to join us for a proper walking holiday, up mountains and along coastal paths, happy to rough it. It's just who they are.

Your holiday does sound physically tiring. Ive been caight out by how much my young kids have missed their dad when weve done a short bteak.

your daughter is super young. It will be a while before you find out if she's a gallery or hiker kind of person or both. You can expose them to experiences but you don't know what will stick.

Oh and for years after our perfect French cycling holiday, the oldest two said, "No cycling. No cycling mum," every time holiday planning came up. 😆

Er, no?

I start with what my children would enjoy and then consider the practicalities which makes it enjoyable for us.

That's what most parents do.

Suit yourself. We start with where do we want to go and do and then is there anything we need to change in that to make it doable and mostly enjoyable for the children. Never been on a holiday that started with what they want as the primary focus.

Don't know where your confident assertion that your way is how "most parents" do it comes from. I've never really discussed the concept of holiday planning that much.

The existence of so many kid oriented holidays, from Lapland to Eurocamp and Butlins, shows that the first consideration of the average parent when booking a holiday is whether their children will enjoy themselves.

I'd be missing home as an adult, even if i was enjoying the experience. You don't need to beat yourself up over it, you'll be going home soon

Or they are places adults enjoy too? I love a Eurocamp. With or without children!

I agree with you. I wanted to go to Copenhagen for my (autumn) birthday last year and there was no way to make it enjoyable for my 4 year old so we left him with grandparents. Tivoli Gardens was closed and it was cold/rainy so no outdoor activities.

Many of you were right— We got home last night, and as I was retrieving our toiletries from our camping gear, DD excitedly asked, “Are we going camping? I wanna go camping!”

Also apparently the highlight of the trip was watching a bear poop on the road. She keeps telling everyone about it and asking to watch the video I took of it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Love it! It sounds like she had a brilliant time overall with loads to remember. I think you did a brilliant job planning it all. Hope you're feeling better about it.

Make a visual 4 more sleeps count down
Maybe she does not really understand you will go home

@FairPlayer274 it sounds like she enjoys the idea of stuff like camping and hiking etc and perhaps genuinely does like some aspects of it like “the bear pooping” haha, but the reality is she gets bored of it and restless pretty quick. So it’s got to be a one night thing rather than a long trip for her to properly enjoy it.

Maybe when she’s older you will both have a better idea of what she actually enjoys doing.

Even at my age though I can be a bit like that, I like signing up to super long hikes etc but then when I’m on them sometimes I think aah this is a bit much 😂 whose idea was this?

I'm sure plenty of adults do enjoy Eurocamp, but it's set up for families with children, as are many other holiday places. As far as I'm concerned, if the weather is nice, the food is good, and my kids are having fun, I'm having a good holiday. If, for whatever reason, one my children is miserable the whole holiday then everyone else is going to suffer for it, so it's in everyone's best interests that we consider their entertainment first. That doesn't mean we won't sneak in the odd more adult oriented experience but there's nothing fun about trying to enjoy something with a bored kid in tow.

Fair enough. Works for you. I'm quite happy to keep taking the kids round museums and cities and places we want to go that they don't necessarily love.

We make concessions by doing things like having entire days at the pool a once or twice which I would never have done pre-kids but we don't start planning a holiday with the DC being the primary focus.

Which is exactly what the quote was that I agreed at the start about planning holidays we want to do and working out how to make it doable for the DC which I stand by being an entirely legitimate way to go about it.

I took my 8 year old nephew on a short city break, stayed in a nice hotel with views to a forested hill opposite. We noticed that taxi drivers often pulled up at a spot opposite and had peed behind trees. That is all my nephew recounts with glee, not the world class aquarium, museum or skyscrapers.