Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Isn’t there enough on the tables though without menus and place cards

Why have a menu….is that for everyone ie one each…..Why!
I perhaps get the place cards but don’t people just do a seating plan these days
I know this isn’t the point but goodness it’s all become such a faff. Hoping your sister, who sounds a little more laid back, will take it all in her stride and keep it simple…..

I really don’t have an issue with those invites and in fact I love the colour.
It doesn’t matter what one person likes, everyone is different and should be allowed to do their thing. I, like you, agonise when talking to clients about design ( I’m an architect) but ultimately it is up to the individual themselves to have what they want . So I would let you sister do her own thing.
In fact if she turns up in jeans on the big day I hope you’ll say how wonderful she looks

If this was what she originally asked were there other designs? And you replied "they are all awful, this is what I would do....."??

You said you can be brutally honest with each other but also that she is getting annoyed with your honesty around this wedding so take a step back. It's not what you would do. It's not your wedding. Just answering her questions at face value. Which design do you like, you answer design 1 or 2, end of.

On that, if you are going dress shopping, remember its not your wedding, it's not your dress. You are there to tell her what looks good and flattering on HER, not what style you would choose!

I really am so glad my dh and I did everything without a single piece of input from anyone.
We even designed our own invites. A kiddy photo of each of us then the info. Printed up at work …job done.

From what I’m reading here along with the many threads on taking friends and relatives wedding dress shopping ( apparently called say yes to the dress ) I’m so glad we did….it all sounds so exhausting.

Very close to my sister and I turn to her as I think she has really good taste. She is always at pains to say the most important thing is that I like x y or z - although that’s also a sign she would prefer something else!

i think from the way you have described it your relationship sounds like mine - honest and sometimes a bit blunt in the knowledge both of you know it is in good faith and said with a massive dose of love.

that said - I think if she has shown signs she is happy with her choice and doesn’t need your input anymore then best to leave it and support her choice. It’s not a hill to die on and if this becomes a “thing” it could derail the joy of planning stuff together.

I mean they’re absolutely disgusting but if she likes it you love it and move on.

her Wedding should reflect her and dp She doesn’t want your help or she would’ve asked. I generally ask my type a friends for help with organising, I have one friend who goes mad for it.

if its slapdash then its slapdash but she won’t notice anyway so it doesn’t matter

The wax seals are deeply naff

Invites are a waste of money. Send me an outlook invite with the schedule and I’ll hit accept or decline. 😂 If you have to send me an invite, have a QR code so I can go online and accept or decline.
It’s not getting pinned on my fridge (that’s integrated), I’m not leaving it up for months like a birthday card, it’s going in the bin.

I hope you dont end up sniggering about your sisters choices and taste. I wonder how old you both are, Im sure you will look back one day and realise how unimportant all this nonsense is, my great niece has a new business designing and printing really expensive and fancy invitations, I think , what a waste of time and money, to impress whom? I love things to look nice, but its far from the most important thing in life, people spend more time planning their wedding than they do planning their life together, I hope your sister is spending time doing the latter, because the invitations will be forgotten in hours, more important things to consider for the future. I hope one day you look back and laugh at what you today think is really important! Sounds like you have a lovely relationship, keep it that way, you are different but love each other, dont risk that.

I get it op. I am
cload and honest with my friends. I would expect them to tell me
if my make up looked bad or my outfit was weird.

you are asking a lot of people who consider honesty or disagreement as confrontation so are to afraid to hear/receive it themselves without offence

if I sent the invite you shared to any of my friends they’d say No and tell me it was childish and then ask what I was going for

I think ask your sister what vibe she wants. But also ask if she genuinely wants your input or is asking out of habit. Does she want a flower border or a bright vibe then you can get what she is going for.

A shit choice for a wedding is doing something that is offensive or will cause discomfort to guests. Save your comments for that.

Anything else is the choice of the couple getting married. And they should have the wedding they want. Unless they are proposing an actual shit choice - see my first sentence.

I hope you read these comments that you asked for OP and think on about your attitude to your sister - and probably your friends. You may or may not have a style that some people admire but you clearly think it’s very important that you do - it might just be that you have kind friends and a kind sister who humour you and tell you what you clearly need to hear.
You could’ve posted the naffest style possible and you’d have got the same comments - it’s not important, it’s not your responsibility and it’s not supportive of your sister.
I hope you recognise this now and show some encouragement to your sis who seems more stylish than you with her less pretentious, more fun, more honest, more relaxed approach.

Perhaps you could learn from her, chill out and enjoy life a bit instead of trying to impose your ideas on her and get random strangers on the internet to back you up about it.

Your posts comes across as you having superior tastes, when really they're just different. While I wouldn't choose that border, there's nothing inherently wrong with it - it's colourful and cheerful. It's her and her partner's day, not yours.

If someone always has someone else to ‘help’ them, they may find it difficult to make their own decisions and express themselves. Plus it can really knock someone's confidence to constantly criticise whether it be constructively or not. What your sister has come up with was perfect to her - she knows it’s for her wedding and was truly happy with the result. Leave her be, and be happy for her. Who cares about the invitation! Ultimately the only important thing on her wedding day is getting married - the rest doesn’t matter.

Wow people are really going to go on and on about the fact a woman dare say something positive about herself. Among my circle of friends people value my input re style and taste. That is just a fact.

But she has already chosen what she wants and instead of encouraging her and supporting her choices you think you know better and put her down. You don’t know better OP. You simply have different taste and are a little too critical.
You write about yourself using positive terminology and that’s fine. But you write about your sister negatively and it isn’t fine to be derogatory about her and her choices just because her style is different to yours.

So yes, please do change the habit of a life time and stop thinking and talking about her ‘shit choices’. Be kinder and less bossy and less know it all about design. Design is personal. A wedding is the time for her to express herself through her own choices, encouraged by you.

Well I like it. It’s nice and friendly and cheerful. Wax seals and all that stuff is very 1999 (I know, because I got married in 1999 and had wax seals). Let her crack on and enjoy. It looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun.

The flower border invitation is warm, colourful, fun and welcoming.

Your invitations are cold, sterile, clinical and not welcoming. As for the blob of wax - just pretentious fuckery.

You sound quite full of yourself

It did make me laugh when in your 2nd para you said you were detail oriented then proceeded with a sentence that made no grammatical sense.

Maybe not so detail oriented as you think

She’s being honest with you and saying “back off”
you’re not listening l!

I mean, the invitation your sister shared is pretty horrible but I am not sure you are the arbiter of good taste that you think you are. I thought the wax seals were rolled up condoms when I first looked at them. And that font is very overdone for weddings now.

Perhaps someone else could help your sister instead?

I think you are telling some porkie pies.

Detail orientated my arse. Look how many typos are in your OP.
😂

Personally, the ones you have posted just look like every typical wedding invite. Your siaters choice has more personality and more fun.
Its only invites anyway, noone actually cares.

You were being asked "Which of these designs do you like".
Not "What style of invitation do you recommend?"

I'm sure someone with your attention to detail can tell the difference.

These look quite dated and hand made (but not in a good way) OP.

Me & her not her & I

I don't like the invitation similar to the one your sister likes @Payets. However, it's no worse than ribbons or wax seals which have nothing to do with wedding invitations.

Wedding invitations are plain white, heavy card, A5 size and card like. The invitation is printed in black, in accepted and traditional format.

Our DC are being invited to weddings. Invitations remain as above.