Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

The wax seals idea is so ridiculous. Like plastic faux-beams on a modern house and horse-brasses in a chain pub: pseudo olde-worlde nonsense.

You have different tastes. Doesn’t mean yours is better.

Very forced….

do none of you have sisters you are close to?

But in this case you weren’t asked. You say above she showed you her choice, and you suggested alternatives - you weren’t asked. I wonder how often you share your opinion when you think it’s been asked for but hasn’t.

You sound snobby and controlling towards your sister. Take a step back and let her have the wedding of her choice without your sniping input.

we are more commenting about you saying nasty things to your sister!

A couple of your friends having the same taste as yours doesn't mean anything.

(not that it's remotely your style, that's not my point) but we have all seen photos of "ladies days" at the race for example - all the "ladies" and their friends believe they have exquisite taste. It's debatable.

Missed the point there, didn't you? Your lack of taste is the judgemental post about your sister's choice.

Oh and it should be "just she and I"

I do actually, 2. We tease, we possibly insult each other, but neither of them believe they are the superior being of the family.

I don’t think I am superior. Sister is equally honest with me. And I appreciate that.

That's why I am asking you about example of her telling YOU you have a shit taste.

Trying to figure out if she's ignoring your opinion on her invitations because she thinks you are too fussy and she doesn't care what you think
or she's hurt because she likes them and you are being mean.

Who made you the queen of taste and design?

I'm with your 'I don't give a shit' sister. You sound like my ex SIL. My brother sobbed to me when he left her. He said I'm back. I'm back. I couldn't live that bullshit life any longer.

Your sister doesn't want to adhere to your poncy fake ways. She doesn't care if people ask you about clothes or furniture.
She doesn't want to be anything like you and I bet she's happier for it.

Fuck back off to your brainless mates and let your sister have HER DAY.

It sure sounds like it.
You haven’t been directly asked.
So mind your own business.
In the end, they’ll still be just as married as if you had meddled.
And it’ll be your sister’s wedding - not yours.

You reckon?

Hmm.

I think you're too self indulged to realise that you've made her doubt her own being and judgement.

so this isn’t me being directly asked…

With every suggestion she probably sees pound signs rolling away from her. I would leave it.

She’s spending £40k on the wedding. And £15k on the honeymoon.

Before or after your opinion was given?

I bet she's stressed to fuck now thinking she's got it all wrong.

Self doubt for your big day... Nice.

(but I only want what's best for her)

Please join us in celebrating our wonderful day.

You said:

"But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed."

Don't set yourself up as the arbitor of taste for her wedding then. There are no objective rights or wrongs.

I have a similar relationship with my sister - with the understanding that we have different tastes. If she told me she hated my wedding invites I would laugh and say I don't care because I Iike them and that would be that.

If she them continued to shit on my wedding choices, I would get annoyed tell her to F off because why would I want someone continually rubbishing a choice that's already made.

You have already given your opinion, she has chosen to ignore it. Definitely time to drop it.

Wedding invites are not a life changing decision, it's not like she's about to change the course of her life because she put flowers on her wedding invite.

I have a sister exactly like this.
She’s made me doubt myself for most of my adult life.
Who does that to their own sister?
And why? Why can’t we just be sisters?

Friends often ask me if I can make their invitations special...

I tell them the truth - 'hitched' needs 2 lines otherwise it's not visually pleasing.

It’s just an invite. They mostly go in the bin soon enough. Most of my friends used e invites to save money

Wax seal applying

😂

Who does this

Yeah don’t project your weird dynamics onto me. Sister and I are best friends and can be brutally honest without the psychological damage you speak of. Yikes

Maybe go out of your way to compliment all the design decisions you do like so she begins feeling more confident and less defensive

I know. Mine was my brother.

All you can do is be yourself and LIKE yourself. Don't compare - even though it's thrown at you, if not by your sister, then I suspect your parent/s might have made you feel inadequate in comparison at some point.

It's taken many many years, but my brother is once again my best friend. We don't see each other often, but it's the fact that whilst he's still rich and successful and lives a life I wouldn't want, nor could understand. We both came from the same place, the same upbringing. Recognise that we are siblings and in spite of fighting like cat and dog, we are pretty much the same.

I hope you find that one day with your sister ❤️ Never doubt you.