Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Why did you share it then?

For every person who says to you - I like your style you are classy there will be two others rolling their eyes and going wtf. Wax seal?? There is nice, there is pretentious and there is wtaf!

My wedding had no invites - just texts, fake flowers apart from my bouquet that I didn’t ask for but my wonderful friend made as my wedding present.

I married a wonderful kind man - that was the important bit

"Making shit choices" is continuing to drink when pregnant. Or gambling away the food money for the week.

Not choosing a perfectly fine, but not your taste, wedding invitation.

You're coming across here like Mrs Bucket. The invitations you describe as being in 'good taste' to me do sound dated, staid and fussy. That's obviously not your sister's style. I'm with tour sister: it's an invitation, who gives a shit?

It's just not your style, that's all. Classy isn't just cream and gold. I wish more weddings were simple and colourful like that which your sister plans. Who really gives a monkeys about the colour of napkins or swirly invite writing etc.

@Payets

I personally think there is a ‘fashion’ shift from pretentious and over styled to more thrift, charity shop, use again, recycle as the world becomes more eco conscious/attempts to stop waste. I think substance should win every time - and having a wedding that is about family, love, fun, happiness is FAR more important than arguing over an invite.

To me, your sister’s choice is the choice I’d go for. 100%. It’s not got unnecessary fuss and that means that effort can go on more important things.

So much twiddle, fuss and plastic ends up as landfill essentially.

Her choice. Only comment on the positive things that she does for the wedding, and offer to help in any way - you might end up helping thread macaroni bracelets for wedding favours but look on the bright side.
Your sister is getting married!!
Smile, laugh, play Bridesmaids and A Few Best Men and bring snacks to share while you are helping/crafting with sister.

But you’ve literally just said she was getting annoyed with your ‘honest to God’ opinion. Maybe she’s tired of it.

Not sure I’d use “ribbon tying and wax seal applying” and “good taste” so close together!🤣

My 14 year old DD and her friends are NOT into traditional ‘shopping’ - they are into charity shops, Vinted, will not use Amazon or Temu etc
I really think that’s the direction ‘fashion’ and ‘good taste’ should be moving.

Your sister is right. Literally no one (except you) cares. Normal people are just interested in the content of the invitation (when is the ceremony, what are the meal choices, is it no children, do I have a plus one?) and anyone judging something so utterly trivial seriously needs to be uninvited.
Get a grip of yourself and stop making this about you. When you get married/remarried you can create a bouquet of wax deals or wax seal your veil to your head for all anyone even cares, because it’s YOUR day. This isn’t.

The ribbons/wax seal/bits of plastic scream Amazon to me…

I have no opinion on the sister thing except for OP to stay out of it - apart from anything else, the last thing you really want is to get assigned jobs by a stressed bride when you have differing opinions on what things should look like. Better to just keep your head down IMO

BUT, that second wax seal example makes no sense and it's bugging me. The name is on a bit of grease-proof/tracing paper, with the wax seal in the middle, on top of the paper, it can't be holding the greaseproof to the menu below - well, unless they punched a hole in the middle so the wax could seep through? But that would be madness. And that's assuming it'll stick to the tracing paper at all.

It does sound like this to me. OP I agree you sound controlling. And it sounds like your' brutally honest' despite your claim it goes both ways just doesn't. You tell her what to wear or not. You criticise her choices. You sound quite overbearing- even just on this thread you sound forceful and incapable of considering another view may have merit. It might be worth your while giving some serious self reflection.

This. You are being controlling and deliberately shading her - I suspect you have always done so maybe to make yourself feel better about yourself. So unpleasant.

You’re making its sound like it’s a right or wrong ‘answer’. It’s not.

You have repeatedly defended ‘why’ on this thread and never once expressed, maybe other people like different things to me.

I’ve received some elaborate wedding invites that you would deem appropriate. I look at them for seconds and that’s it. Nothing to do with taste. I don’t display them. People don’t all sit there fawning over a wedding invitation even if it’s in the same style as they would choose. It’s not at all what people will remember. You need to chill.

I like the floral border! To me it says “fun wedding” rather than “tedious stuffy wedding”.

Respectfully it sounds like you have different tastes, and she likes her invites. She’s already got annoyed with your suggestion. It’s her wedding. It’s not your place to be critical here and dampen her joy.

None of the guests care what the invites look like. They just want to celebrate the happy couple.

Guilty conscience?
I wasn’t talking about you.

I was talking about having a bullying sister in general.
wow

You see I think that looks naff, but if it were your wedding preps I’d respect your taste and say nice things.

Good grief - Noone fcking cares about an invite.

I've been to loads of weddings - if you asked me to describe what all their invites looked like, I couldnt. Thats because I cant remember. Thats because it's not important and that information was considered so damn irrelevant by my long term memory storage that it binned it once the wedding was over.

Noone gives a fck about a stupid invite.

This.

No one gives a shit about ribbons and wax seals 🙄. (Well, some people clearly do!!) of you’re getting this wound up over invitations, I feel sorry for your sister for the rest of the planning.

My wedding invites coat 89p in the Card Factory sale, god knows what you think about me 🤣

There's times where you can give your honest opinion, and times when you really need to smile and nod because your opinion isn't the be all and end all. I know someone who has to give his opinion on EVERYTHING, I try not to spend too much time around him because it annoys the hell out of me...

You just like different things, she’s not making a mistake. You really need to let it go and realise that you don’t have ‘good’ taste, you have different taste

I like the flowery border.

Weddings are so stressful, don’t over complicate your sister’s planning by bringing in totally different aesthetics and ideas.

And relax a bit about your taste - perhaps consider that your friends and acquaintances might have quite a narrow idea of ‘taste’ as well. It’s okay for other people to think differently. There is rarely a right and wrong to these things. Have fun looking at dresses.