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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

432 replies

Payets · 20/05/2025 00:07

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?
OP posts:
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LittleBearPad · 25/05/2025 18:08

LittleBearPad · 25/05/2025 18:05

It literally says there are no set rules and right or wrong styles on that page.

The traditional ‘stiffie’ approach isn’t the only way.

Also very Grin that you can subscribe to Debretts to answer those urgent etiquette questions- £4.99 a month!

OneOliveDuck · 26/05/2025 07:44

Leave it alone. Sometimes we are so used to giving opinions because the other person doesn't say anything and we sometimes mistakenly take this for acceptance and forget about the other person's feelings. She will probably have enough stress trying to plan a wedding. Don't be part of the stress.

Gossipisgood · 27/05/2025 11:05

She's asked your opinion, you've gave it, she doesn't like it, now let it go!
It's her wedding, not yours. If she's happy with her choices then you should be happy for her. Everyone has their own taste, hers may not match yours, but that's ok. Be there for her for the big stuff, reassure her the wedding will be amazing & help her not stress about things.

NormasArse · 27/05/2025 20:53

Catofthesouth · 20/05/2025 00:26

Oh my days I have seen some wedding horrors, this is not the worst. Let her do her thing. Not your circus and not your problem.

I had to endure a vile plastic ring and a dreadful poem inserted into it once. The bride chose them and swiftly had several affairs, all too sordid for words. I hope your sister has a much, much happier marriage x

Endure? 😂

GreenFriedTomato · 28/05/2025 04:29

My first thought was 'ohh, a real-life Hyacinth Bucket and wondered if anyone else has thought the same. I wasn't alone 😁

GreenFriedTomato · 28/05/2025 04:43

A friend of mine is a wedding photographer and I sometimes help out, so I get to attend lots of weddings.
The main things that stand out to me are the dresses and the food.

She's worked a couple of events featured in 'my big fat gypsy wedding' and the dresses in many traveller weddings were truly horrendous (to my taste anyway). Neon day-glo mermaid tails and crop tops and so on. It looked more like a drag queen convention.

Another bride wore an enormous bright orange number which reminded me of Buddhist monks, and the groom was wearing some kind of Indiana Jones costume (I didn't ask 😅)

A few weddings have had truly awful food though. Think bad BBQ, poor quality frozen burgers and chips. And they'd spent a fortune on the wedding, so there was no excuse to serve such awful food.

Those are the things I'd remember. Not the wedding invitation.

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 28/05/2025 19:56

It’s not your wedding. When I first saw my SIL and brothers wedding invites they were similar to what you are indicating here. Did I love them? No, very different to my style, but was it any of my business. No. Therefore they carried on with what they wanted on their day and, in fairness, their day was just as beautiful and wonderful in a different way to mine and I wouldn’t say either was better or worse. Let her do her thing.

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