Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

that is hilarious.....very Hyacinth.

I always give an 🙄 when I see overly fancy invitations I can honestly say I prefer your sister's version. To me, the OTT expenditure on wedding stationary is poor taste.

Are you kidding me?! Your sister is right with her Who gives a sh** attitude with this.
people receive it and they go “oh our wedding invite for such and such has arrived. Lovely.” Check the calendar. “Oh good, we can make it.” Writes it in the calendar. Sticks the invite on the pinboard or on the fridge. And after the event most likely chucks it in the recycling bin.

Personal taste and style is just that, You said yours and hers are very different. I like the flower borders example you posted as being hideous, but to me is refreshing and a bit retro.

Focus on the areas where she most wants your input, like you mentioned the wedding dress.

They aren't shit choices. That's just your opinion. And the wax seal place setting yoy have shown are very over used and common imo.

It's your opinion they're shit choices not hers

Offer to help, if it's rebuffed accept her decision and stay in your lane. It is her wedding and your opinion is just that. An opinion

why are you even bothered?

I couldn’t Imagine being that bothered about someone else’s invitations.

Start focusing on you and your life it will make you happier x

Are you sure she’s actually been happy in the past with you saying things like ‘you can’t go out in that you look hideous’? When you say there’s been ‘no fallout’…. I had a friend who used to offer this kind of ‘helpful’ ‘honest’ feedback and at the time I never pushed back because I wasn’t particularly assertive and also tbh wasn’t used to people behaving like that, most people don’t, so I guess I didn’t really know how to handle it. So I guess theoretically maybe my friend thought it was fine and there was ‘no fallout’. But I didn’t appreciate it, and now that I’m older, if someone gave that kind of feedback to me I’d let them know pretty quickly that I found it rude and it wasn’t welcome. Maybe your sister’s reached that place?

She literally told you "who cares"...Maybe she means it? I mean really who does care about the wedding invitation? Think we may have printed ours on A4 paper and/or emailed people. Honest to god the ridiculous 'rules' and expectations about weddings are not compulsory. Maybe you should take what she said at face value and let her not care?

Nobody needs wax seals and ribbons on a wedding invite. A functional when and where is fine! Leave her be. You sound very judgy and overly concerned with appearances.

I think let your sister make her own decisions on this

If she asks for your input or help then you can give some options you think would be good.

But otherwise leave her to it if she hasn’t asked.

I like your sister’s invites. Maybe I have “poor taste”.

Mind yourown business and keep your mouth shut

I like the flower border. I have good taste. Just different to yours. Let her do her.

You may THINK you’re not coming a place of control BUT you already told us that this type of behaviour on your part is regular.

you have already described your sister as slap dash and low effort

it is highly likely you have put yourself into the role of telling her what she should do, think, wear - everything

well now you know that you’re controlling. Also belittling. That it isn’t your place to continually do this type of thing to your sister.

listen to the multitude of opinions that you asked for. Time for some self reflection too.

Ewww. Imagine being that person who judges defines anyone, let alone their own sibling, over their choice of wedding invite. Which, by the way, no one cares about and ends up in the bin anyway. Wow.

I just hope you don't tell her that her choice of dress is naff!! You're coming across as an absolute control freak tbh. Just because people compliment you on your 'good taste' doesn't give you the right to tell your sister what she should and shouldn't have.

I'm not sure if this is a parody or someone role-playing as Amanda from Motherland

If you have to ask then…don’t.

If that was as true as you think it is, you wouldn't have asked the question here (... and got the responses you deserve!).

Can you ask her if she wants your opinion? She will know you are very different. You could say something along the lines of “it’s not my taste but if you’re sure go for it”

Hrft
Here's the crux
1.You have wildly different ideas of style.

1. What's important to you isn't the same as what's important to your DSis.

Helping doesn't include changing someone's ideas, it involves achieving something how they'd like it done otherwise it's interfering or controlling.

If she's marrying the right person for the right reasons doesn't matter what you think, it's her wedding, let her be loud and mismatched and unstylish, love her for what she is.

Please back off before this causes a rift. It is not important, I agree with people don't remember wedding invites. She doesn't need negativity at this time. She needs you to be there for her and help her with any stress, not to cause it

Ach, it's the invitations, not the dress or the venue (or, you know, an arsehole for the groom). Not important; nobody remembers them, and they're not in the pictures. Accept her taste may sometimes be different from yours and forget it.

It literally says there are no set rules and right or wrong styles on that page.

The traditional ‘stiffie’ approach isn’t the only way.