Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

This is naff. Your sister is right, no-one gives a shit about this kind of thing.

My sister thinks she has good taste and in a way she is but it’s absolutely not my cup of tea.
The border is nice by the way, I wouldn’t choose it myself but it’s pretty and uplifting. I hope it’s cheap - weddings are so annoyingly expensive.
In a year people won’t remember the date of the wedding let alone the border on invites.

It’s just different tastes. I quite like the bright floral, it’s more relaxed. I don’t like the wax seal ones you posted - looks too try hard and over designed to me, but some would love it.

I think if she asks you directly you can say they’re not your taste but that doesn’t mean they’re not nice. Just find something nice to say about them too eg liking the colours or something.

You don't set up the standard of what is "good taste" and what isn't.

She likes her design, you made it clear you didn't, move on. They are not offensive, and you liking them or not is irrelevant.

You could open your mouth for constructive criticism - the address is not very clear, they are forgetting something, they are the same invit than someone she hates used.... Anything else is not helpful.

You can organise your own wedding in what you think is a tasteful way - which some people won't like, that's life.

I would love to have recent examples of her telling you "you have a shit taste"

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

Ironic…

I hate fussy wedding invites. The fussy wax and bits you suggested would have been stripped and the fancy bits binned so I could stick the invite on our notice board.
My sister is getting married this year. She sent her save the date by email and the actual invite is a single card with a floral design in a simple envelope. Maybe you are not as up to date as you think.
Better not to fall out over what is essentially her big day.

That's far more naff than your sister's pretty floral border.

[To be clear your sister's choice isn't naff at all.]

@Payets you specifically said "do I allow her to make shit choices?" That is really controlling language.

Her choices are shit, in your opinion.

There's no element of "allowing" unless she specifically asked your permission. Did she do that?

Maybe going forward, she won't ask your opinion. And I wouldn't blame her.

You may have had that kind of relationship for a long time. But I wonder if she actually likes having that kind of relationship.

Now might be a very good time for her to break away from that pattern.

I’m not saying I’m an expert. But people like how i dress and decorate my home. So I often get asked to help friends decorate or shop for clothes. Certainly no taste maker.

I personally don’t like what I shared re wax seals. I was giving an example. I would go for something way more stripped back.

From a peasant point of view I personally would not notice how the invitation is presented. Surely the invitation itself is the most important priority.

And it’s not anything I would go for. Just giving an example of how wax seals are used to combine menu and place cards

Anyone else looking at wax seals and thinking “postage would cost a bomb”. Far too pretentious for me. Let your sister have the wedding she wants with stuff that makes her happy while you learn to overcome your superiority complex.

This is all irrelevant.

She's happy with what she's chosen. It's her wedding and she's chosing what to worry about and what not to, I'd say she has her priorities right.

What are are shit choices to you, aren't to others.

But she doesn't want your input, so you keep it cute (mute).

"I bet". Mhm

And she would have seen a huge variety of floral borders if she did, plenty more "classic" and "pastle" than these

She chose these for a reason. Wax seals and ribbons aren't that vibe

If she's getting annoyed but still keeps asking you, I think you need to say something along the lines of "[Sister], It's clear we have very different taste in these things. What sort of advice do you really want?"

She obviously has a different aesthetic to you, but also clearly values your opinion. Which is really flattering and not something to bruise. So whatever you do, don't drop the tact.

I think it's pretty. And a wee bit different, which is nice.

Since you have uploaded her stuff to be judged, it’s only fair you upload a picture of what you consider good taste.

Her boarder says laid back wildflower hippy. It’s bright and cheerful and who is going to remember her invitations?

That's what she's chosen and the choice is hers so there was never going to be any benefit to chiming in to suggest she can do better or going around the houses trying to disparage the choice.

I don't think your suggestion is really any better, just fussier. The calligraphy/wax seal thing is a bit naff but really what does it matter. You don't need to say "at the end of the day it's your wedding" - you didn't and don't need to say anything at all. She knows its her wedding. All of it's going in the bin anyway - I literally couldn't care less what someone's wedding invite looks like when it comes in the post. I RSVP, stick it in the diary and bin it.

But she does. She asks for my opinion on almost everything. We are going to pick dresses this weekend. Just her and I

Since you have uploaded her stuff to be judged, it’s only fair you upload a picture of what you consider good taste.

OP if you really had the good taste you claim to have you wouldn't have started this thread.

If you have any taste you should ask for it to be deleted.

Does she ask or do you force your opinion?

Please don't tell her the dress is low effort and suggest something wildly different

Wow people are really going to go on and on about the fact a woman dare say something positive about herself. Among my circle of friends people value my input re style and taste. That is just a fact.

then for the love of god don't tell her she has a shit taste when you see her in a dress she likes!

Tell her that something is more flattering on her, but don't be nasty because you deluded yourself in thinking you are the only one with taste, when she has none.

Everybody has taste and a sense of humour (they think), but it's like the word classy. If you use it about yourself, you have none