Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Exactly.

Leave her to it. She needs to have what she likes and feels comfortable with. I'd be telling her gently and constructively if we were wedding dress shopping and she was trying on completely unflattering dresses, but even then only if they were genuinely unflattering on her. She'll have her own ideas of what style or trend she likes and it's not for you or me to tell her she shouldn't have it based on our own preferences.

Perhaps the bright flowery thing is part of the theme and look she is going for. Totally her choice. You don't need to approve of it. If you start with this then what else are you going to find fault with? She'll end up feeling like it's your wedding, not hers.

Id tell sis to save her money. Just use her own printer, A4 page and plain white envelopes - job done

I really couldn't have given a hoot about invite design as they get binned anyway

You sound insufferable. I have never known anyone ask someone to go furniture shopping because they value their taste. People wish to buy what is to their taste not what some jumped up superior being advises them to

I have a sister who I am very close to

My wedding was formal, sit down meal, big dresses, matching everything, the whole nine yards

Her wedding is coming up and will be registry office followed by massive party with different catering vans and just bloody good times for all involved

We support and celebrate each others choices because we are sisters, and have different tastes.

You're being a bit of an arsehole!

Hope I'm not too late to say that wax seals, dried flowers, any form of whimsy or olde worlde-ness would be the height of gaucherie? grin

I'm what you might call very 'discerning' when it comes to certain asthetic matters and I have a reputation for having good taste.

I sometimes dread being asked my opinion on things like this by friends. I'd be the worst person but also the best person to take wedding dress shopping or anything else similar. They ask my advice and say they want help choosing something because they value my opinion, but what people really want is for me to validate their choice so they can feel better about them. They don't actually want me to make the choice for them. Neither do they really want to hear me say anything less than complimentary about something they have already decided they like. So given that I can't lie and pretend something's perfect when it's not, I'd rather not be asked in the first place. 😂

They aren't shit choices, they are her choices. Frankly I think the wax seal is unbearably pretentious. You seem confident that your style is better, and should be what everyone wants. It isn't, don't be so over bearing.

Wax seals are a bit Taskmaster.

Poor Aunty Doris receiving an invite and panicking that she's going to have to launch an aubergine the farthest North she can in 20mins

op, with respect, you sound horrendous. ive witnessed the dynamics you describe between you and your sister in my close friends and its painful to watch. one sister thinking shes better with better tastes blah blah, and the other sister doubt and second guess herself all the time. just let your sister be herself and enjoy her own choices in life without your need to butt in with your 'superior' ones.

Sounds to me like you are used to being held in high regard for input into furniture and art and design and used to folk following through with your advice.
Honestly, no one cares about the invitations in the grand scheme of things.

In my opinion, the border is hideous but then I also think wax seals and ribbons are very dated - it’s simply down to personal taste. Let her do as she wishes and leave it.

This sort of thing is so overdone.

I think her invites look more fun.

To me, the idea of wax seals is hilariously pretentious

It's the sort of thing you used to get in the now defunct Past Times shops selling faux vintage and historic tat.

When your sister asks which you prefer, just give her an answer. No need to get into the finer detail of why, unless asked. DP is a details person. I rarely ask for his opinion because it takes half an hour to listen to it. By the end I just feel more confused and a bit worn out by the level of analysis. I tend to ‘just like’ something. Of course there are reasons, but I don’t need to delve too deeply into them. He does and that’s fine - for him. So, maybe state your preference and leave it there. No need to suggest alternatives or nit pick over her choices. And if she’s a ‘that’ll do’ type person, so what? We can’t all be interested in the why’s and wherefore’s of everything. Perhaps she has things she IS particular about, but they just aren’t the same as yours. Different priorities and all that.

Lol, I had one of those seals from Past Times. It was a gift and I thought it was rather grand at the time (I was a teenager!) but charity shopped it a few years later as I realised that I wasn't ever going to use it!!

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed

At which point, of course you drop it! Not sure why you'd say anything else if it's annoying your sister. While I understand that you are used to offering advice, it should be no more than that. It's her wedding! The only thing you should be saying is 'if you love it, then it's perfect. And for what it's worth, she's not wrong about ribbons and wax seals being a little dated. It's much more on trend at the moment to have single page, unfolded invitation cards, often with a border similar to the picture you posted. I work in the wedding industry, and this type of design is very popular at the moment.

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Can't you just accept that your sister has different taste to you? It doesn't make her choice shit, just different! And how gracious of you to 'allow' her to make her choice.

I also find it hard to believe people taking her shopping to get the benefit of her opinions.

I think you're the one projecting, far more than others on the thread. It's very arrogant to dismiss everyone else as keyboard warriors taking out their frustrations at friends and family on the OP.

I've never had anybody like the OP in my life and I still think she's being a total knob.

We used FILS computer and printer (quite a novelty back then) to print our own. Honestly I don’t think anyone gave a shit. Been married for a very long time. It doesn’t matter.

WTF is it about weddings? Wearing a tiara, hiring a fancy car to drive you to a church that you've seen in the inside of a handful of times? What is it about weddings that has people pretending to be something they're not for the day(s).

The border you have shown in your example is fine

@Payets
Genuinely curious, why does it matter once she's happy?

To be honest you can also get them in the papeteries in Italy that sell handmade Italian paper at exorbitant prices, as well as in the fine stationery departments at both Liberty and Fortnums.

They have their place and their followers. It’s just not for everyone, or indeed for every circumstance.

I think attacking op’s suggestions as naff or passé or tacky or pretentious is just as rude as op thinking her sister’s choice is rubbish.

Why not just let people be. And fwiw - and to reassure those brides who have put effort into their invitations - some people do appreciate them. My mum’s friend keeps them in an album with photos from the weddings of family and friends they are close to. Likewise I was at a friend’s house and remarked that she had a lot of weddings coming up. She said “oh actually three of them are past, I just can’t bring myself to bin the beautiful invitations.”

Of course many people will bin them - but it doesn’t always mean it’s because they didn’t appreciate them on the way through.

And then there’s those who don’t notice, don’t care. We are all different.