Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

So you've changed "a habit of a lifetime" ...Just like that?

OP you really haven't. 🙄

Wax seals are very "fussy"
It's your Sisters' wedding, and her and her future husband are planning things their way.
You need to step back a bit.
She got annoyed, so she's not so keen to follow your directive any more. That may happen a lot more now too.

The border is eye catching and pretty. If it makes your sister happy then just let her have her choice. It just shows that she is an individual, and likes pretty colourful things. I think they are rather nice.

Do people properly look at wedding invites? I only really note the details…

thats very dated. I hand make stuff and seals amd ribbons went out around 10 years ago

You just need to keep quiet, take a step back and let her come to you. Sometimes, too much can be stifling and annoying. I know you're only trying to help, but by the sounds of it you're doing more harm than good. Sometimes strong words and comments like you've mentioned can actually be hurtful. What you may think is classy could actually be tacky and crass. She's an adult, let her do her own thing.

Why are you so arrogant,that you think your choice of design is better than hers

She asked your opinion. You gave your opinion (which I happen to agree with, by the way). Now it's her choice and you shouldn't give it a second thought. It isn't a reflection on you, and nobody is going to think "I though Payets was classy, but if this is what her sister has chosen she obviously has very poor taste".

Her wedding her decision.You wait until you have children and they are planning weddings , home improvements.So many times thier partners have told me thier ideas and I haven't liked them, told the so then had to do some serious back peddling over the following days so I dont appear to be some dreadful controlling MIL.
There is a. art in learning as when give your option and I suggest nicely that you learn it.Everyonr taste is different and it's important fo respect those difference and embrace them.It would be boring if we were all tge same
Fortunately my DIL like me I have appologised and just sign the cheques when required to.

It's HER wedding.

Ha ha!

You’re right, people take it all too seriously.
I used to be listed in Debrett’s annual People of Today.
For ‘recreations’, I replaced the ubiquitous (and so boring) ‘golf’, ‘gardening’, and ‘reading’ with increasingly absurd submissions like ‘playing with fire’, ‘the company of intelligent women’, and ‘distorting the fabric of reality’.
They always printed it.
Until that is they stopped the book altogether.🙄

You’re probably the reason why! 😅

My sister had a traditional white wedding, church, big reception, all the trimmings. I had a few people in a registry office with a pub drink afterwards. She kept sending me info on fancy cakes, dresses, cars, photographers, you name it. I declined politely and had it the way we wanted and she accepted it. She admitted she just wanted to organise her dream wedding a 2nd time but understood it wasn't our sort of thing!

She did surprise me on the day with a bouquet of my favourite flowers to hold. I didn't want to bother, but I knew it was meant kindly, her idea of a treat, not trying to impose her will.

We have very different tastes, but I have never felt one was of superior value to the other and she's never given the impression she thinks that either. She might say "not my style, but it really suits you". I think we enjoy our differences as much as our similarities.

If she doesn't want a fussy wedding, up to her. I roll my eyes when I see some of the OTT invitations and some of the bridezillas demands.

OMFG WTF is wrong with you thinking her personal wedding taste is something that requires brutal honesty?

Big picture.. she's excited and wants you to be excited FOR her for what SHE wants. She doesn't want ir need your brutal honesty.

Bigger picture- it's an invitation, who gives a shit what it looks like as long as it does the job and tells people where to be and at what time.

This isn't buying a house where honesty and details matter.

You might think you have a great relationship because you value brutal honesty so highly, but I bet she feels like you're pissing on her parade because it just isn't warranted here.

Does she go away from talking to you feeling happy or sad?

I don't think it matters. It's like the least important bit. People just need to rsvp. Just makes she's got that on....

I like the flower border in the OP. The thing about taste is that it's a matter of opinion isn't it - there's no such thing as objectively good or 'shit' taste. The sister isn't making a 'shit choice' by choosing a border that she likes, and which is very bright and cheery. It's fine to offer a tactful view if directly asked but you have to (1) read the room - ie if it's clear she really likes something then don't say it's awful as she may choose it and (2) back off at once if she doesn't agree.

Keep quiet and support your sister - don’t meddle it will cause upset - weddings whip up all sorts of emotions!

I didn't want to mention it before, but sod it.
I have a top with the same pattern as that border design.
Maybe I need someone with class and good taste to take me clothes shopping 😂

It's her wedding, let her just do it how she wants to.

Ok, I'm out. (p3)
If my sister were to spend £40k on a wedding, I'd be brutally honest (hate that expression btw) and ask if she was effing mad.
Our worlds are obviously very different.

Her wedding, her choice. And quite frankly anybody who spends their time commenting on the invites isn’t really the sort of person who should get one in the first place.

Gosh! Sorry and all that but your style and taste is not needed. It's her Choice! you're coming over as I know best! and controlling.

She will definitely save money with her choices too!!

when I got married I didn’t really care about the invites or table decorations etc - just kept it simple and spent the money on food and booze.

People have told you that they THINK you have good taste. You THINK your sister’s taste is not as good as yours. These are just opinions, not facts.

You posted on Mumsnet because you wanted peoples opinions and you’ve got them, lots of them. But whether you realise it or not your replies to some people are quite sharp and condescending.

My suggestion would be when your sister shows you something that you think is awful, offer her an alternative and if she still likes what she has chosen then let her off. It’s her day.

Despite me being a computer graphic designer my DD decided to use an invitation using clip art straight off the internet. Just leave her.