Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Brilliant idea for if I ever get married. Let my kids write the invites, see if anyone actually manages to decipher them and arrive! 🥳

I quite like the design, but then I am divorced so what the hell do I know!

Oh and I cannot remember what a single wedding invitation looked like. Unremarkable I suppose. The last one I went to was all electronic.

Yes - and if you didn't like the designs offered, showing her something similar-but-better is the way to go.

My best friend came dress shopping with me - she told me the bigger my skirt got, the happier I looked. My other bridesmaid made comments about things like, "you don't want to look like a Christmas wreath" when I showed pics of greenery etc for my hair, wanted me to care about things that I specifically didn't care about (wanted matching accessories for all bridesmaids when I specifically wanted them to dress individually to suit them).

One of them was focused on getting the best version of what I liked, the other was focused on trying to get me to do what she thought was best.

And for all that is holy, don't try to get someone to change a decision they don't care about.

This is the difference the OP is missing.

Those look absolutely awful. I would question your taste if you think anything like that looks good. Leave your sister to organise her own wedding.

Who even remembers what an invite looks like? This is a complete non issue.

What is the point of a wedding? If it’s to put on a big show of good taste then go ahead and advise away, assuming your taste is superior.
If it’s to celebrate the love and commitment of two people, then who gives a shit about whether wax seals or bright flowers are on the invitations.

Honestly Roses there’s no rule or traditional format for wedding invites

There is no such thing as bad taste - only other people's. In this situation, you are "other people's"!

So will you be ‘brutally honest’ with her if she falls in love with a dress that you think is a ‘shit decision’? I have in-laws like you who say they’re ‘brutally honest’ when in fact they’re just plain rude. Maybe have a think about whether this process is as much of a two way street as you seem to think, it could actually be the case that you hurt your sister’s feelings but she just doesn’t feel she can tell you that.

There absolutely is.

That’ll be it then! It was doomed from the start! 🤣

There is a traditional format but there is absolutely no rule.

It doesn't matter if your children are receiving fifty invites a day in the same traditional format.

There is no rule that those are the only kind that can be used, and it would be staggeringly obvious to anyone with a cursory Google search that many other options are available.

No...it is... you just don't see it.
You're detail orientated, she's slap dash and low effort?
You could have said I get over fixated on detail whereas she is more laid back and easygoing and doesn't sweat the small stuff. But you didn't write that because you think your way is better and hers isn't... but it's her wedding and her choice.
So No... dont give your opinion

Where's the rule book

We made ours so I wouldn’t know what’s in the shop but we’ve never had this A5 all white format from anyone

Ours was a single sleeve and fitted fully in a long envelope.
Meanwhile having just googled ‘wedding invites shopping’ there’s masses that are not just white, many with lots of colour, many of colour and even a black and gold!

But you would think that wouldn’t you, because you’re obviously completely unaware of how controlling you sound. I think you might be surprised by what some people actually think about your ‘brutal honesty’, but I’m not sure you’re self aware enough to contemplate that.

Here
https://debretts.com/how-to-design-your-wedding-invitations/

Yeah she doesn’t need you to tell her that everything about her wedding is shit. Just be supportive.

I can’t believe you’re looking at debretts.

Really ?!
and We usually agree on so much 😞

As an aside, the white wax seals look like some rolled up condoms in that picture.

I do hope you and your sister carry on having a close, loving relationship. There's a big difference between telling her that the dress she's wearing shows her knickers/makes her look a way that you know she wouldn't want to etc. and saying her invitation border is horrible.

Just leave it and enjoy the closeness you both have.

So…you tell her she looks hideous and can’t go out in that outfit, you start a thread that calls her slapdash and low effort and you criticise her wedding and try to turn it into something that is your taste?

you might be her sister but you aren’t her “best friend”

one day, there will be a huge fall out and you’ll be all shocked and hurt.

please back off and start being nicer to your sister!

Your sister is right though, no one cares what wedding invitations look like.

I actually quite like her bright & colourful invitations. If they were printed with a nice font on high quality card they'd look good.

I have been married and I have been to loads of weddings and I cannot recall how a single invitation looked, let alone opening one and thinking "wow what a tastless piece of stationery" . That is how trivial it is, and out of interest there is nothing horrible about that border.

These invitations are also invites from the brides parents

Most women have left home and are financially independent these days and also paying for the wedding with their fiancé’s

this is old fashioned and sexist

That's a tradition, not a rule. Not everyone keeps to traditions. Many people send their invitations by email these days, nothing wrong with either way.
Hell, you could deliver bright pink notes by strippergram if you chose, and it's still ok. As long as there's a name, date, time and venue, you can deliver your invitations in any format you choose. Including floral bordered invitations like the OP's sister.