Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

@RosesAndHelleboresour wedding invitations were on blue card, I used an Ink Stamp with a design on the front and glued in a print out of the info on the inside. Did it how I wanted to broke the rules.

jt was over 10 years ago but wondering if I’m expecting a visit from the police? Are there invitation police?

seriously, if people are going to judge me for my wedding invitations then they shouldn’t come.

Honestly she has given you options of things she likes and you should stick to that list - not tear it up and suggest something else

if she really loves a dress and it’s not to your taste will you tell her that?

Same here. It's fine if you're a teeager obsessed by Lord of the Rings and its like.

The style of invitation that @RosesAndHellebores is talking about was called a "stiffie" back in the day, because engraved on stiff card. There used to be quite a little competition going on among my more Hooray friends to see who had the most on their mantlepiece at any one time.

Anyway @Payets I think you're being disingenous because you wouldn't have offered to help with ribbons and wax seals if you didn't like that style. The absolute bottom line is that noone cares, it doesn't matter and the only people who need to approve any of the details of this wedding are the ones getting married.

Because of the font, I thought Katherine was marrying Mr William Shitlips.

Aren't received messages alway to the left hand and sent to the right hand? 🙈

And we all like different things and think "good taste" or "shit choices" apply to different things.

Posting a link to debretts isn't making the point you think you're making.

Agree.

To be honest, @Payets, I've never much liked the sound of 'brutal' honesty - I think that, in vast majority of cases, it is possible to be absolutely honest without being brutal. It is good that you have a relationship with your sister where you can both be absolutely honest, but where you can see when there's been enough honesty and it's time to back off and let your sister make her choices for her wedding.

I would bet money that you’re a member of the Sad Beige Brigade.

cannot believe how many of you are say that border is nice 😅

Is it such a surprise that different people like different things, @beAsensible1 - even things you don’t like?

You must know that people have different tastes and likes.

Personally, I think they are boring. Stupid wax seals which will probably break off. I love what your sister is using!

It's all down to individual taste and you have to accept hers and shut up!

@graceinspace999
If she’s wearing 70s orange hot pants with a Madonna bra and a veil made from an antique table cloth tie dyed in lemon and lilac while carrying a bouquet made from camping utensils

Have you ever considered becoming a wedding stylist? You may be onto something there 😀

I like the colourful border on the wedding invitations. Much nicer than the fashion for white fonts on a black background which seems to be fashionable at the moment.

Honestly, I hate the wax seal examples you've added, and I love the bright colours of the one similar to what your sister has chosen.

It's her wedding, her choice, stay out of it. You sound a bit unhinged, let it go.

YABU

You both have different tastes. It’s simple as that. There’s nothing wrong with it. Keep your opinions to yourself. It’s the wedding invitation, no one is that bothered by what it looks like. Doubt most would remember what it looked like a month after the wedding.

But actually it is... You believe the invites are low class... She doesn't think they are /doesn't care...
Thus you're trying to take control whether you believe it or not!

Listen.

She said "who gives a shit?"

Which translates to "I don't give a shit (about invitations)" She wants to progress to other wedding details. Forget about the invitation design. She doesn't care if they are naff or not, she just wants them to be functional.

God we had stiffie wedding invitations. I am from abroad and DH told me they were traditional (and they were among his circle at the time).

Our niece recently sent her invitation electronically which had the added advantage that you could RSVP and input dietary requirements in 2 easy clicks.

Anyway- I still think the OP is BU and controlling to boot. I hope her sister agrees with the mutual 'brutal honesty' claim but I have my doubts.

Does your sister have very different tastes to you? There’s a chance your friends have similar tastes to you, but your sister doesn’t?

I would say you're not being unreasonable, but then again, you should try to respect your sister's taste. However, that's no reason for your sister to say who gives a shit.
In my opinion, when people give advice, you should at least listen to the advice first and then give your feedback.
But yeah, you should try to respect your sis's taste.

Just thinking, I love a very bohemian, blue stocking, arts and craft style. One friend of mine is all hippy and floral, another very minimalist and deco if anything. We couldn’t possibly advise each other as our tastes are too different! Is that the case with your sister?