Are parents of 'Trans' children aware of the damage of full affirmation?

[Iloverosesandcarnations]

All children go through a stage of who am I? Confusion etc.

Am I a boy, a girl, do I fit it etc.

The social contagion of affirmation of 'I'm in the wrong body, so need to change it' it IMO so damaging.

Talking through, understanding that all children go through 'who am I'
rather than initial blind affirmation and ok.lrts change your name, clothing etc tell school rush into changes young BEFORE maturation, is so dangerous.

Why should it be moved? If you don’t want to read it then you don’t have to. But if you did you might learn something.

Children are being harmed by this ideology, detransitioners are already speaking out. This is a future medical scandal and people need to start waking up to what’s going on

You don't need to read it. I don't imagine you read every thread on AIBU so why always shut down just because you're not interested. Do you shut down every thread you find uninteresting? You can just move along?

Also reference to such a phase as 'nonsense'

It's always shut down. Sadly, people prefer the shut down and move route if they don't agree or like

I once asked my parents if I was really a boy because I liked playing with the boys better and didn't like "girly" things.

They told me to be who I was and like what I liked, behave how I saw fit but within the realms of being a good person and generally that it was ok to be who you were. They also told me that I was female and that whether I was "girly" or not, I wouldn't ever be able to not be female.

I cracked on living my life and it's pretty good. This was when I was a kid though so going back 30 years when being trans wasn't really a "thing".

I think parents just need to be telling their kids that they can be whoever they want, and sex doesn't play into it. Sex is fixed, the rest of you is up to you.

These individuals seem to be forgotten.

Does your phone not have a scrolling function? I tend to ignore thread titles that I'm not interested in and just simply scroll by, could you try that?

I doubt it is an ideal situation for any parent.

They can only guide and advise but ultimately these days they have to support the child, while ensuring that they seek therapy through the journey.

The scary thing is the links between ASD and transitioning are undeniable, we're letting young people down.

Teenagers on the spectrum often feel like misfits, now there is a sub group that is shouting "you're different because you're in the wrong body".

My DD asd school has a large number of teenagers with gender confusion, pronoun requests and changing first names male/female opposite their birth name.

Michelle is Michael etc.

OP, and your qualifications for making this judgement are?

Great idea.

Let me know when you face the reality of the situation in todays world and see how the blasé "just need to be telling their kids...." stuff goes.

You misread/elided the OP. Here we are:

All children go through a stage of who am I? Confusion etc. Am I a boy, a girl, do I fit it etc

The OP does not say everyone asks themself whether they’re a boy or a girl! The “all” refers to the normal self-examination children do as they begin to understand who they are. I notice you don’t say that you never asked yourself whether you fitted in, which was the other example, the OP used….Almost like you did understand what the OP was saying.

Women’s rights and children’s safety and well-being aren’t transphobia 🙄

As a parent of a trans child I find this quite offensive.
do you think I haven’t had all the chats about how you can be whoever you want to be and be your sex etc etc.
one also had comments that maybe my child grew up in a very gendered home, no, I have short hair and work in IT, my husband does the washing and cooking.
until you’ve lived this please stop lecturing people about how it’s parents fault. It is not helpful

Exactly. I think a lot of people don't even want to acknowledge that this is happening.

I know that this is directed at the OP, but just to make my own position clear. I don't think it is parents fault at all.

I think people like my cousin were horrifically misled by the so called professionals who dealt with her daughter's case. I feel nothing but enormous sympathy for her and her child.

Sex is fixed. It's an absolute fact that you cannot change it.

If DD came to me and wanted to live as a man, I would support her choices in her life but I would be having the conversation with her that how she presents externally does not change her biology, because it doesn't. I would be realistic with her that any changes to her body would be cosmetic only and internally, she'd still be female. And I would engage a counsellor to help her work out why she felt wrong, while always telling her that she's absolutely not "wrong", she's just who she is.

People have been sold a lie that they can change sex. It needs to stop. Let people be who they are without selling them damaging untruths.

I suspect it depends a lot on how far down the rabbit hole the kids have already gone.

I can understand doing everything to prevent estrangement, something we know this movement promotes.

But I can see it's a bit like attitudes to kids with ARFID. It's easy to say 'well why did you ever give them MacDonald's chips ' but when they aren't eating at all you'll try anything.

If you have a well adjusted child expressing initial concern about identity then no, I don't think affirming is the right path and I do agree about shifting the narrative within the movement to open discussion (sadly lacking).

However if you have a child who has been struggling a very long time, self harming etc and they seem to have found something which helps, I can understand why parents go along with it more.

I can say 'i'd never do it' but can also see you can get stuck between the lesser of evils.

I'm trying to get in early with mine before this can take hold by explaining about sex and how gender stereotypes do not need to apply. Time will tell how successful that is.

Jolly good.

I have loads of opinions about situations I've never been through as well.

I'm just not arrogant enough to express those views to people who are going through it.

It's not an opinion that sex is fixed and cannot be changed. That's a fact. And that's what people need to be told when they are struggling with thinking they are the "wrong sex".

Maybe they do absolutely believe they are the wrong sex. But they can't change that and coming to terms with that is what needs to be worked on, nothing else. Everything else is just woke BS and pandering.

As the parent of a trans identifying child, the opening part does read very much like judgement about parents' handling of this situation.

But I don't need or want your judgement. I need support. I'm as sex realist as they come, but that hasn't stopped my child from believing in this ideology.

It's true many of us parents are "non gender confirming" or went through phases in our youth when we dressed androgynously, but back then there was no social media encouraging us to take cross sex hormones or plastic surgery to "fix" us.

Cut us and our children some slack.

Well I hope your child doesn’t go through it because you were such a good parent and got in there early. Ffs

Parents, in the current climate, when dealing with GPs, CAHMS and schools have no choice but to affirm. I didn't, so experienced repeated in depth 360 family assessments by social services. Quite harrowing, stressful and intrusive. If I had not had the support of family and friends, I might have caved. Most parents feel they have no choice, that the experts know best and that they need to reframe their internalised transphobia. Being autistic and pigheaded. I refused to, but I fully understand why many parents wouldn’t.

It is beyond horrific that this is the backdrop parents are having to navigate.

Agree.

Very vulnerable young people

@METR0NOMY did you bother to read any of what I actually wrote?

I expressed full sympathy for parents navigating this and said time will tell how successful my approach is - as in it's easy before teenage hormones kick in.

Your response lacks comprehension.

It's been pushed by so many powerful people that I think it must be hard for some parents to know what to do, especially in the face of the trans lobby lies about suicide risk, and the fact that many of these children will be neuro diverse and so may already be struggling with mental health issues.
But yes it's a terrible terrible thing that society has not just allowed, but feted it. Particularly for neurodiverse girls. Absolutely criminal.