DH upset that I'm getting a tattoo

[PoppyCornCob]

So to put into perspective, I'm not only the breadwinner in the family but I'm also the one who does all the "traditional" things that wives do at home apart from the cooking because I suck at it. I only take on that role when my DH isn't at home.

I work 50+ hours a week, 5 full time night shifts on top of doing 2 part time HK jobs during the day (2 days at a hotel and another 2 days with the agency). I don't work weekends because I look after our DS and the house while DH is at work. DH is a chef and works 40-45hrs each week. When he gets home, he looks after our son and cooks but that is generally it. Very rarely does he tidy up/clean the house, does the chores, feed the cat, and do admin. I do all of that. When asked, he says he will do it but always prolongs things hence I do it in the end (then he gets annoyed that I didn't let him do it).

We have separate bank accounts. All the big bills comes out of my pocket and the smaller bills comes out of his. At the moment, we are saving up for a trip to America but I have also been setting money aside for a tattoo session to treat myself for working my ass off. When I told him about it, he got very annoyed and he said that he himself would like to get a tattoo but he isn't doing so because we are saving up for the trip to America.

I told him that I'm using my own personal money for this tattoo because quite frankly, it's deserve a break. However, i offered to give him my tattoo money to get his done but he said don't bother. I don't intend to cancel my tattoo session because my DH has gotten annoyed with me but is it unreasonable of me to not take a break? I'm purely running on adrenaline every week and im super exhausted each time I get home. Like, is it wrong for me to get this tattoo for myself?

Your post makes no sense.

You work nights but also during the day?

You say you're the "breadwinner" but your DH works full time?

When do you sleep?

How is getting a tattoo akin to "having a break" ?

You appear to be working 24 hours a day, four days a week, without any sleep, but your biggest concern is getting a tattoo?

What????

I agree with pp that this doesn't make any sense at all. Particularly 2 adults squabbling over who should/ shouldn't get tattoos

When the hell do you sleep? Working day and night am surprised you body isn't screwed up.

It's a strange thing to have a set to about!

As long as you are both saying for the US I don't see what the problem is

This only makes sense if you replace the word 'tattoo' with 'massage'.

I see that you don't share finances. Do you both put the same amount of money in the America pot each month?

Why are you seemingly doing everything?

You have MUCH bigger issues here....

Hoping the OP will come back and make a bit more sense of her opening post, as I don't fully understand it.

I don’t under what anything you told us have anything to do about getting a tattoo that you pay for by yourself. If you want to have a tattoo then take it. That’s it.

Don't understand much here but if you want a tattoo, get one, you don't need anyone's approval

It makes perfect sense. I start my week on a Monday doing my day job at 7am and finish at 3pm. I pick up son at nursery, get home, wack something in the microwave for us to eat, DH gets home at 6pm, I sleep for an 2 hours before doing my evening job at 9pm and finish the next day at 6am. Then rinse and repeat at 7am the next day.

Saturday, I stay up and go to bed at a normal time. Around 9pm? Same for Sunday. Then we start the crazy and unsociable hours on Monday.

How are you the breadwinner when your DH works up to 45 hours a week as a chef? Does he not get paid, or is he doing the work on a voluntary basis?

When will you have time to get the tattoo?

Oh I dunno then, but you're either saving for America or you aren't and a tattoo is obviously not a necessity.

That's why he refused your offer of him getting one done.

Maybe you should both save a little less and keep some 'pocket money' back for yourselves.

I think it's fine to get a tattoo if you want one. I wouldn't categorise that as 'a break' or think you deserve it because you work long hours. It seems a ridiculous thing for you and your partner to be arguing about though. If it were me, I'd much rather put the money towards your holiday if you're working long hours and need a break!

What? You sleep 2 hours a day! This is crazy trade the tattoo for a nap somewhere surely!!

I agree with others he’s one a decent wage too surely so you either both get some fun money or you both don’t.

needs to be fair? If he’s not pulling his weight with chores that’s a separate thing that needs addressing

I don't understand what's so hard to understand here? I've said it already. I work my ass off and I want to treat myself but DH is annoyed/upset that I'm putting some of the money that ive earned from working long hours for on a tattoo rather than our trip to America. Like, is that wrong of me to do? Am i being an ass for doing that? I just want to treat myself and my DH is telling me I shouldn't?

Am I being unreasonable?
That's all I'm trying to get at. Call it trivial but I just want to hear what other people think.

This is absolutely insane. No wonder you need a break.

A tattoo is not a "break" though. Something for you, yes, but not a break.

I think what you need is sleep. Because your entire OP is a babble of nonsense and you and your husband are arguing about a tattoo.

So Mon to Fri you get 2 hours sleep per day? Worry less about the tattoo and more about the fact that you might well be dead by the end of the year?

On the very trivial matter of the tattoo. If you have a designated pot of personal fun spending money and it comes from that, of course it's fine.
Your DH should be pulling his weight and paying a fair share of bills btw, but I'm not you know that.

And to clarify, we both work full time but i earn the most out of the two of us.

If it's coming out of money you said you'd save, it's unreasonable.

If you've put the money you said you'd save in the holiday pot and you're going without something for yourself to get something else for you, not unreasonable.

I hope you don't drive after so little sleep.

what has any of this to do with getting a tattoo as a break. Very confused by it all.