Not to buy my brother's static caravan

[Ineedtocheckmylist]

For context my DH & me are not wealthy, but we both have decent pensions (DH retired, me partially retired) & a fair bit in savings as when we got married we both sold our family-sized houses & bought a 2 bed bungalow.

My parents used to buy antique items at auction and, many years ago had some very nice pieces of furniture, antique rugs etc.

Brother lives about 2 hour's drive away. When my parents were alive I lived about 10 minute's walk away from them, but have since moved to somewhere close in the area.

My brother, although he earns a good salary, & owns a large house split into 2 flats (one rented out), but has a large mortgage as he had to buy his Xpartner out - twice as they got back together having split up.

I have a difficult relationship with my brother as I cared for my parents when they were sick, he did absolutely nothing until mum died & swept down, changed the locks & took anything of real value leaving me to clear the rest.

But, my parents have been dead for nearly 5 years now & we have started repairing our relationship meeting occasionally for lunch, email each other & I would like to continue that.

When my mother died (9 months after my father) he accused me of stealing things from the house that my parents got rid of many years ago. He was such a rare visitor that he didn't remember that they'd had to get rid of things like coffee tables & the nice rugs as they were a trip hazard for my father who had Parkinson's. He also accused me of stealing my mother's clothes (she was 2 sizes bigger than me), items of jewellery & of making a mess of the house in the process. He didn't understand that my parents were so ill that they never bothered to put anything away & the mess that the house was in was the mess that they lived in. When I said that he said that I should have cleared the house up for them. But when I visited (every morning & evening - whilst working full-time, to help get my father up, fed & then to get them their evening meal & help my father to bed, sometimes been called to them in the middle of the night when daddy had a fall) my mother would get very cross if I tried to tidy up saying that it was her house & I had no right to tidy after her - something that I respected. So I limited myself to making sure that everything in the fridge & kitchen cupboards was in date while I was cooking for them & keeping the kitchen & bathrooms clean.

My brother has a static caravan on the coast near where DH & me live. He's pressurising me to buy it from him. I've said that we have no need of it. Brother has provided evidence that it's giving a fairly good rental income & that it would be somewhere for DH's children & grandchildren to enjoy. I have no GC of my own, but regard DH's as mine.

I'm saying that I don't want the bother of it. Brother is pressurising me by saying that he's in financial straights & it would be a way of helping him out. I'm saying that he's an adult & his financial circumstances are his problem. Afterall he got a not-unsubstantial inheritance from our parents (as did I). Also if it's giving such a good rental income, he should hang on to it as it will give him the money that he says he needs.

DH is saying if I want to buy it from my personal money that's my choice. But I'm thinking if it's such a good deal why is my brother getting rid?

I think that I can guess what MN friends will say, but I don't want to put a further barrier between my brother & me.

So AIBU to tell my brother no thank you & risk deepening the rift? We're talking about him selling the caravan that is about 8 years old for £15K.

After I stopped laughing I would say no.
Then not answer his calls/texts.
He stole from you and your parents and now he's trying to swindle you again.

Your brother will always find one way or another of having a rift with you. Buying his caravan won’t be the last demand he’ll have of you. He’s treated you poorly, please don’t let him continue to do so. If this caravan is such a good deal and a money spinner, then he’ll easily find a buyer won’t he? Don’t let his poor decisions become yours. As others often say on here, ‘no’ is a complete sentence, but you can add ‘thank you’ if you like.

I have no idea really how people who provided no care for their own family have the gall to comment on the care efforts of those who did step up, or to swoop in when they think there is someone that can be taken but it says everything you need to know, OP.

It is a depressingly common phenomenon, often enhanced by said parents praising absentee children to the skies at every conceivable opportunity, while carer children are criticised on a weekly basis.

no no no no no no no
they are money pits and you will lose every time
the pitch fees will be horrendous it will be losing money every day chances are you will have to sell it soon at a vastly reduced price
my parents had one paid 45000 for it sold it for 3000 awful experience

Absolutely no business sense to buy it. They depreciate, you have to replace every 10-15 years depending on the terms of the site. The only time it make sense is if it’s a place you absolutely love and will use it a lot of the year, but it still makes no financial sense.

He’s a bully. You’d be better off without him.

YANBU OP. Don’t buy it, they are a legal minefield!

Look at the fbook group Holiday Park Action Group, it’s a real eye opener.

If it's such a good purchase he will have a queue, therefore I'd thank him for giving you first option but let him know you won't be taking up the offer.

Secondly, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than own a caravan and have to manage lettings for it. However, I did read somewhere, ages ago that they actually gave a good return on investment t if conditions were right and they had limited depreciation left.

Tell us what you really think 🤣

I agree though.

Then you have voted the opposite way to what you intend.

I posted up thread about our caravan saga but I wonder if the OP is still feeling the loss of her parents. The brother is the link. Sometimes I feel guilty for telling my sister to fuck off in December 2021. She is my only sister and we have a distant older half brother. Our younger brother died tragically two years ago. She ignored me at the funeral.
I do see my cousin, nieces and nephews but for me her giving my stalker my address through her DIL was unforgivable. She knew he'd been arrested but she minimised it as she has always done since childhood. She never stood up for me. She never said sorry. I truly think she hates me. But I have a lovely family and her daughter I see each week.

Sometimes people answer a different question, or make up their own, and vote the opposite way.

He's a really bad person, OP, you know this right?

Just because he's your brother, it doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with him. I'm sure if you didn't keep in touch you would be NC now.

Quite frankly, you should have gone NC with him when he stole your deceased parents valuable items and left you to do everything else.

Honestly, being family means nothing..a bad person is a bad person. You don't have to put up with it because of a sharing of DNA.

Of course you shouldn’t buy the static from him.

The bigger issue is that you need to protect yourself from him. He has no scruples or conscience and will try to rip you off (again). Why do you want a relationship with someone who treats you so badly? Why aren’t you angry at him for what he’s done? You deserve so much better. I bet you’re the kind of person who is always helping out your loved ones - as evidenced by all the caring you did for your parents - but you need to look after yourself now. At the very least you need to keep him at arm’s length, but honestly, I don’t know how you can sit at lunch with him knowing what he’s done.

@Ineedtocheckmylist No don't buy it. You don't want or need it. And they depreciate very quickly. In about 3 years the value will be £8K - if you're lucky !
And then there is site fees, about £4K annually.
I enjoyed our caravan but it kept getting more and more expensive. Don't be persuaded In to spending a large amount of money by brother, he can sort himself out.

You know the answer already OP.

People like your brother are so manipulative, if you don't buy the caravan and there's a rift he will tell you it's your fault even though he is the one causing it. You don't need him in your life if he oversteps your boundaries and doesn't take no for an answer. If you let him sway you here, this won't be the last time he pulls this sort of bullshit on you.

Honestly why do you even want a relationship with this man? Blood may be thicker than water but its not thick enough to put up with such an arse.

What happened to the proceeds of your parents' estate? Was it split before or after he filched the good stuff?

Don’t buy it and if he falls out with you because of that, then fine. You no longer have your parents’ feelings about their children not getting on to consider. That can be liberating, even if you are grieving their loss.

The expression is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'
Family is what we choose for ourselves.

I was making a flippant comment based on the common vernacular but as it happens I’ve never found any evidence for the later version.

The common vernacular version (blood is thicker than water) can be traced back at least to early medieval times and crops up frequently in literature whereas that more recent version dates back to roughly the 1990s. I’ve seen many claims that the 1990s version is the “true” version but never one with a source (and this has been cropping up since at least the early days of alt.usage.english to my knowledge). Interestingly the later version coincides with a growth in “found family” themes in SF&F.

The "Blood of the Covenant” from biblical sources is generally interpreted as the covenant between mankind and God (at least in Christian interpretations) so still not between humans - very specifically the religious covenant.

Not that I imagine any of this helps the OP decide about her caravan.

I love his assumption that you're just eagerly looking for a "way of helping him out". Tell him you helped him out by caring for your parents while he sat on his arse, after which he helped himself by emptying their place of all valuables and leaving you with the clean-up. What an amazing CF.

Yes but the meaning has changed over time. Language is dynamic.

Please don’t set yourself on fire just to keep others warm- a cliche I know, but you will lose nothing by having this relationship end, brother or not. It’s just not worth having toxic family in your life. Best of luck and be kind to yourself over declining his kind offer to relieve you of your money on something you don’t want or need. X

Please don't buy it.
There is so much coming out about static holiday homes and how they are practically impossible to sell, due to site owners.
There is so much online, please look it up, it is frightening.
Your brother has probably experienced this, and now wants it off his hands.

You are so insightful there - yes, yes & yes.