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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to buy my brother's static caravan

223 replies

Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 22:49

For context my DH & me are not wealthy, but we both have decent pensions (DH retired, me partially retired) & a fair bit in savings as when we got married we both sold our family-sized houses & bought a 2 bed bungalow.

My parents used to buy antique items at auction and, many years ago had some very nice pieces of furniture, antique rugs etc.

Brother lives about 2 hour's drive away. When my parents were alive I lived about 10 minute's walk away from them, but have since moved to somewhere close in the area.

My brother, although he earns a good salary, & owns a large house split into 2 flats (one rented out), but has a large mortgage as he had to buy his Xpartner out - twice as they got back together having split up.

I have a difficult relationship with my brother as I cared for my parents when they were sick, he did absolutely nothing until mum died & swept down, changed the locks & took anything of real value leaving me to clear the rest.

But, my parents have been dead for nearly 5 years now & we have started repairing our relationship meeting occasionally for lunch, email each other & I would like to continue that.

When my mother died (9 months after my father) he accused me of stealing things from the house that my parents got rid of many years ago. He was such a rare visitor that he didn't remember that they'd had to get rid of things like coffee tables & the nice rugs as they were a trip hazard for my father who had Parkinson's. He also accused me of stealing my mother's clothes (she was 2 sizes bigger than me), items of jewellery & of making a mess of the house in the process. He didn't understand that my parents were so ill that they never bothered to put anything away & the mess that the house was in was the mess that they lived in. When I said that he said that I should have cleared the house up for them. But when I visited (every morning & evening - whilst working full-time, to help get my father up, fed & then to get them their evening meal & help my father to bed, sometimes been called to them in the middle of the night when daddy had a fall) my mother would get very cross if I tried to tidy up saying that it was her house & I had no right to tidy after her - something that I respected. So I limited myself to making sure that everything in the fridge & kitchen cupboards was in date while I was cooking for them & keeping the kitchen & bathrooms clean.

My brother has a static caravan on the coast near where DH & me live. He's pressurising me to buy it from him. I've said that we have no need of it. Brother has provided evidence that it's giving a fairly good rental income & that it would be somewhere for DH's children & grandchildren to enjoy. I have no GC of my own, but regard DH's as mine.

I'm saying that I don't want the bother of it. Brother is pressurising me by saying that he's in financial straights & it would be a way of helping him out. I'm saying that he's an adult & his financial circumstances are his problem. Afterall he got a not-unsubstantial inheritance from our parents (as did I). Also if it's giving such a good rental income, he should hang on to it as it will give him the money that he says he needs.

DH is saying if I want to buy it from my personal money that's my choice. But I'm thinking if it's such a good deal why is my brother getting rid?

I think that I can guess what MN friends will say, but I don't want to put a further barrier between my brother & me.

So AIBU to tell my brother no thank you & risk deepening the rift? We're talking about him selling the caravan that is about 8 years old for £15K.

OP posts:
mumda · 19/05/2025 00:12

Do not buy a caravan. Ever.
Money pit.

Give £60000 away to the dogs home..you'll lose the same but feel better.

Facebook group holiday park action group

dottiedodah · 19/05/2025 00:17

Mt parents had one in the 70s.weekends were arriving late Friday evening after a long drive, a lot of unpacking. Then a nice day out Saturday. And evening supper out.and a lot of packing Sunday to get back home and unpack!just say to DB no can do.he sounds a user .my friend used to say you can choose your friends but not yor relatives. So true!

hilariousnamehere · 19/05/2025 00:21

@Ineedtocheckmylist I haven't read full thread but do not buy the static caravan - many sites have terms which mean you have to buy a brand new one to replace yours when they reach a certain age and sometimes that kicks in when they're 10 years old, and you can't sell your old one on. Which means even if you wanted it you'd be paying £15k plus site fees for two years' use. Have just had a friend's mum stung by this very recently.

Your brother has probably just realised this and is trying to offload it.

You sound lovely but yes, his financial issues are his to deal with and not your responsibility to fix. If that deepens a rift, it was of his greedy making in the first place and will be of his making this time too.

Edit for clarity, it's late 🙈

Cattenberg · 19/05/2025 00:23

TiswasPhantomFlanFlinger · 18/05/2025 23:04

Do not buy this caravan off him.
Is it on a park? If it is you need to be aware that some holiday parks only let you keep a caravan on their park until it is a certain age and then they try to make you sell it, remove it and buy a new one. Also some of the service charges can be very high.

I've heard of all of these issues and also that some site management companies can be very difficult (even intimidating) to deal with. I wouldn't touch your brother's offer with a barge pole.

Just say no. You don't have to justify your decision at all, but if it would be easy to persuade your brother that you don't have the money, that could be the quickest way to get a user like him to back off. I'm sorry that you have such an unscrupulous sibling.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 19/05/2025 00:23

We have a caravan on the coast and it's absolutely not a good money maker at all.

For starters, we've had it 16 years and we bought it when it was relatively new. Previous owners only had it 3 years brand new.

We pay £6k ground rent per year. Then we pay for gas cannisters which get used up pretty fast when you've got people coming in at an annually increasing cost. I think we pay £160 for 2 although I don't know if it has changed as its billed annually. We then pay a maintenance fee to the site for any repairs and annual gas and alarm testing plus for any parts that need ordering. You can't bring your own engineers in it has to be used on site. I'm not sure how much this comes in at as it changes.

Because we spend so much on it we never let it out in the school holidays as we can't afford abroad holidays so this is our holiday and during term time it's dead and you can't charge the same as school holiday time as there's so much competition for cheap getaway holidays.

On top of that you either have to go and clean it yourself between bookings which costs time and money, or pay a cleaning service which we have done in the past and our belongings have gone missing. We've looked into whole caravan management places, and many are at capacity or charge an exorbitant fee.

If it wasn't for the fact that our caravan caters to at least 12 immediate family members and then a smaller number of extended family members and brings everybody joy we would sell up.

I'm sure that if you let a caravan out all year, on a less commercial site than ours you might turn a profit but you'd never see use of it, and you would be effectively taking on the stress and responsibility of a business, which isn't something to take lightly.

Many sites close October to March too so you're not looking at 12 months of income, you're looking at 8 months of income per year and you've somehow got to work out what you're willing to charge per week taking into consideration all of your overheads.

Your brother is selling because he knows it is a money pit and he's hoping you're gullible enough to be razzle dazzled into free holidays and passive income.

MountainofWashing · 19/05/2025 00:27

He's taken advantage of your good nature before op. Don't let him do so again.

Franklyyes · 19/05/2025 00:28

Oh gid no - worth nothing if u try to sell plus age limit and then the park will take the p*ss on new vans. Plus fees for plot etc. your brother is not a nice person

monktasmic · 19/05/2025 00:32

I cannot believe even without the back story you’re even posting to ask this?
tell him to take a running jump. Why would you be interested in it?

LesserCelandine · 19/05/2025 00:36

About 8 years old you say? What is the parks age limit on caravans?

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/05/2025 00:36

His line of credit ran out when your parents died. I wouldnt be at all surprised if their accounts showed that they had been subsidising him for years. Probably on the promise on a return for their investment. Wonder how much they helped him buy those flats (which will be the next thing on the market btw).

He stole half of your shared belongings after they died (if they split their estate 50.50 he stole from you). Spends like a sailor on shore leave and now.....he has nothing left. He is probably servicing eye watering debt and some chickens are coming home to roost.

Time for him to learn about consequences.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/05/2025 00:37

LesserCelandine · 19/05/2025 00:36

About 8 years old you say? What is the parks age limit on caravans?

Good point

5foot5 · 19/05/2025 00:39

I think that I can guess what MN friends will say, but I don't want to put a further barrier between my brother & me.
@Ineedtocheckmylist Why don't you want to put a barrier between you? It sounds like that is exactly what you should do. He is a CF user who was happy to leave you to do all the care of your parents and then still take more than his fair share of whatever they left.

Now he is trying to offload some poxy caravan that will probably cost a fortune to keep and may soon be worthless and he would happily take £15k from you and let you take the hit.

He doesn't care about you beyond what he might still be able to take from you.

Tbrh · 19/05/2025 00:45

Seriously OP, tell him to piss off and minimise contact. He's abusive towards you, the cheek to accuse you of stealing. Sounds like a spoilt brat who has been pandered to and still expects to get his way. People treat you how you allow them to treat you.

Codlingmoths · 19/05/2025 00:46

I think you should be really clear. ‘Db I’m not buying your caravan. I don’t want a caravan, and if I did I’d buy one off someone else I’m sure you’d accuse me of ripping you off or stealing stuff that you made up that you left in it.’

I hope he’s not in your will either!

Bechange997 · 19/05/2025 00:48

How long has he had it? My auntie and uncle bought a flat on the coast to rent out as an air B and B and it’s now haemorrhaging money. Nobody can afford to go away since lockdown and if they can they’re choosing cheap package deals abroad.

i wouldn’t buy it’. He’s likely trying to palm it off on you as nobody is wanting to stay there.

lcakethereforeIam · 19/05/2025 00:51

OP you sound like you were an excellent daughter to your parents. They were lucky to have you. If you'd not been there for them I hate to think how they'd have coped. I doubt your brother would have stepped up. You probably saved him a fortune in potential fees for carers or even for a care home. For him to accuse you of being a thief while you were still grieving, when he'd taken stuff! Utterly jaw dropping. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you have such a rotten brother. It seems he's taken so much and given nothing. Men like that don't change.

DiscoBeat · 19/05/2025 00:54

I can't believe this is even up for discussion. A firm 'no thanks' is sufficient!

GeorgianaM · 19/05/2025 00:56

I might be wrong but I’m sure I read a tale of someone buying a static caravan for a good price and then the site owners enforcing a law or rule that said once it reaches ten years (might be a different amount of years) it has to be replaced or removed from the site.

So if you bought an eight year old one at a cheap price, two years from now it could be worthless.

it was something like that.

Caligirl80 · 19/05/2025 00:58

Do not buy ANY static caravans!! Let alone this walking red flag's caravan!!! If it was such a good income stream opportunity he'd have no problem selling it on the open market. He wants to flog it to you because clearly you're far too nice - the fact you are even considering buying the bloody thing confirms that!
He's trying to take advantage of you - don't let him.

Unclear why you need to even remain in contact with him - just cut the guy off and move on. The fact you are biologically related to him is neither here nor there.

JessWild · 19/05/2025 01:03

Why do you still want him in your life? How does having him in your life benefit you?
Dealing with these personality types is extremely exhausting, you must feel exhausted having dealt with so much shitty behaviour over the years, what he did (and didn't) do to your parents is just shameful.
Genuinely, how does he make your life better by being in it?
If you want to carry on seeing him keep it to short answers, NEVER an explanation regarding financial matters then change the subject.
No means no end of discussion.
It's the only language these fuckers (sometimes) understand.
Best of luck OP and I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, glad you have your own loving family.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/05/2025 01:05

GeorgianaM · 19/05/2025 00:56

I might be wrong but I’m sure I read a tale of someone buying a static caravan for a good price and then the site owners enforcing a law or rule that said once it reaches ten years (might be a different amount of years) it has to be replaced or removed from the site.

So if you bought an eight year old one at a cheap price, two years from now it could be worthless.

it was something like that.

Just had a google and it seems that 15 years is the industry standard. But then it is site specific. It might include high maintenance fees, ground rent etc.

The fact is that if it was such a good buy, he wouldnt be struggling to sell. Says it all really!

user1492757084 · 19/05/2025 01:14

No, don't buy it.
Say no and advise your brother to seek financial advice as to whether to sell the van. If advised to sell, he should advertise it and sell to a willing buyer.

For your own information, search vans for sale in similar locations. Research the rent they pay on the site, upkeep etc.
I think you'll find that putting 15,000 in an account and using the interest to fund sleepovers at caravan parks from time to time would be more savvy than owning a van.

FloofyKat · 19/05/2025 01:18

No, just don’t do it.

Smallsalt · 19/05/2025 01:22

Do not ever buy a static caravan.

There is a facebook group with 70 thousand members involved in a lawsuit against caravan park owners. Parks fleece people out of their life savings and continually raise the site rent.
The caravan has no intrinsic value.

People never make enough from rental to even cover the site rates because the park owners under cut with their own rental fleet. If they rent it out for you, your caravan gets trashed and they take no responsibility.
They are money pits with no way out as it's impossible to sell a static privately and the park itself will offer peanuts. At 8 years old he would be lucky to get £1000.

People have bought brand new caravans for 80k and been offered 10k a to buy back a year later. In addition the fees and electric will be upwards of 7k per year. You could have lots of weekends away for 7k and still have your 15k in the bank.

This will be the financial mess your brother finds himself in and he is trying to pass that mess on to you. Do not do it.
This is the action group, Holiday Park Action Group.
Read the stories on there .

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1488700298019076/?ref=share

echt · 19/05/2025 01:29

It's understandable that you want to avoid things getting worse with your brother, but looking at how he's behaved, there is literally nothing you could do that would ensure it. He will never change. He's like a shark that scents blood in the water, in this case your good nature.
He's user of the first water so say no to the caravan. He'll be back in time to impose on you yet again.

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