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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy my brother's static caravan

223 replies

Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 22:49

For context my DH & me are not wealthy, but we both have decent pensions (DH retired, me partially retired) & a fair bit in savings as when we got married we both sold our family-sized houses & bought a 2 bed bungalow.

My parents used to buy antique items at auction and, many years ago had some very nice pieces of furniture, antique rugs etc.

Brother lives about 2 hour's drive away. When my parents were alive I lived about 10 minute's walk away from them, but have since moved to somewhere close in the area.

My brother, although he earns a good salary, & owns a large house split into 2 flats (one rented out), but has a large mortgage as he had to buy his Xpartner out - twice as they got back together having split up.

I have a difficult relationship with my brother as I cared for my parents when they were sick, he did absolutely nothing until mum died & swept down, changed the locks & took anything of real value leaving me to clear the rest.

But, my parents have been dead for nearly 5 years now & we have started repairing our relationship meeting occasionally for lunch, email each other & I would like to continue that.

When my mother died (9 months after my father) he accused me of stealing things from the house that my parents got rid of many years ago. He was such a rare visitor that he didn't remember that they'd had to get rid of things like coffee tables & the nice rugs as they were a trip hazard for my father who had Parkinson's. He also accused me of stealing my mother's clothes (she was 2 sizes bigger than me), items of jewellery & of making a mess of the house in the process. He didn't understand that my parents were so ill that they never bothered to put anything away & the mess that the house was in was the mess that they lived in. When I said that he said that I should have cleared the house up for them. But when I visited (every morning & evening - whilst working full-time, to help get my father up, fed & then to get them their evening meal & help my father to bed, sometimes been called to them in the middle of the night when daddy had a fall) my mother would get very cross if I tried to tidy up saying that it was her house & I had no right to tidy after her - something that I respected. So I limited myself to making sure that everything in the fridge & kitchen cupboards was in date while I was cooking for them & keeping the kitchen & bathrooms clean.

My brother has a static caravan on the coast near where DH & me live. He's pressurising me to buy it from him. I've said that we have no need of it. Brother has provided evidence that it's giving a fairly good rental income & that it would be somewhere for DH's children & grandchildren to enjoy. I have no GC of my own, but regard DH's as mine.

I'm saying that I don't want the bother of it. Brother is pressurising me by saying that he's in financial straights & it would be a way of helping him out. I'm saying that he's an adult & his financial circumstances are his problem. Afterall he got a not-unsubstantial inheritance from our parents (as did I). Also if it's giving such a good rental income, he should hang on to it as it will give him the money that he says he needs.

DH is saying if I want to buy it from my personal money that's my choice. But I'm thinking if it's such a good deal why is my brother getting rid?

I think that I can guess what MN friends will say, but I don't want to put a further barrier between my brother & me.

So AIBU to tell my brother no thank you & risk deepening the rift? We're talking about him selling the caravan that is about 8 years old for £15K.

OP posts:
PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 18/05/2025 23:11

Nooooo! Don't do it OP. I'm pretty sure those caravans have a shelf life and will be worthless once they're deemed too old to be allowed on the campsite. I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Im sure he's fully aware of this, knows noone else will buy it, so is trying to rip you off-again.
He also sounds like a horrible person. I hope you bin him off. Some relationships are really not worth trying to salvage.

nomas · 18/05/2025 23:11

Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 23:05

Thank you MNers. I needed a reality check & I got one. I guess that I have to accept that my brother is a CF & maybe I don't need that. He's my younger brother & when we were younger I always looked out for him. Time for him to grow up.

I'm drafting an email to tell him thanks, but no I won't be buying his caravan. God only knows what he did with all the money that he made from the pictures, antique books, Staffordshire figures, Clarice Cliff sets etc that he took from our parent's house. I suspect that his ex benefited as she stuck around for just long enough before she left him for the second time.

Sounds like your brother is doing the same to you - sticking around long enough to benefit from you.

S0j0urn4r · 18/05/2025 23:12

Dear Bro
I have no interest in purchasing your caravan and will not be entering into further discussions..."

ACynicalDad · 18/05/2025 23:13

I have a feeling the site charges are quite high, if you aren't in the market for a static caravan (sounds like you're not) then don't buy!

Original poster
Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 23:14

pinkdelight · 18/05/2025 23:06

Obviously don’t buy it. Dont even have to conversation about it. You’ve said no and it’s beyond rude that he’s ignoring that and telling you what to do. You owe him nothing and he has no right to try to manipulate and undermine you. Just cut that subject dead if he brings it up again. “I’m not buying the caravan.” On repeat, till it gets into his thick/sly head.

It sounds like you've met my brother! He's such a rude CF. When he visited my parents (about 4 times a year) reminded me of a cuckoo chick. He'd sit there smoking (no-one else was allowed to smoke in their house) & take over the conversation while my mother buzzed around him supplying him with clean ashtrays, food, drink etc. It sickened me TBH. He also would call her while her favourite programmes were on & she wouldn't dare to say - 'Countdown is on, I'll call you back when it's finished'. She was so afraid that he would throw a moody.

Whenever I call anyone I always ask if I'm interrupting something & perhaps it would be more convenient to call at another time.

OP posts:
RareGoalsVerge · 18/05/2025 23:16

No don't buy the caravan. The only person creating barriers between you is your nasty selfish grasping brother, and you aren't going to rebuild any bridges by lying down in the mud and inviting him to walk on you, that's not how it works. Keep your money and your self respect and if he isn't interested in you when you aren't cooperating with being a cash cow, then that is not a loss to worry about.

Delphiniumandlupins · 18/05/2025 23:18

Tell him you don't want it and he will get a better price selling it on the open market. You can thank him for giving you first refusal, if you like. It's better not mixing family and business (particularly when your family is like him).

NoPrivateSpy · 18/05/2025 23:18

OP, isn’t the caravan issue just a convenient diversion to addressing the real issue with your brother? The fact he ripped you off and stole inheritance that should have been shared? Or has treated you appallingly when you were the one caring for your parents?

Gattopardo · 18/05/2025 23:19

God, no. Absolutely not: he’s trying to shift it to you because very shortly it will be a liability. Most site owners don’t like older vans and make you get rid of them. So, it doesn’t matter whether they have a good rental income now; they’ll be valueless pretty quick.

What a hideous chancer praying on his family knowing that :(

BangersAndGnash · 18/05/2025 23:20

OP, please look after yourself better than this.

He wants you to give him £15k and you continue paying the insurance, the maintenance, the very expensive annual site fees etc etc.

Because he wants the money and has always seen family as a way to get stuff he wants (while never giving back)

You really want to buy his love? A family connection with him?

You see the money as a way to keep an emotional bond.

He sees a family connection as a way to get money.

Do this and he will end up with money. You will end up with a brother still looking for his next chance to fleece you.

Snugglemonkey · 18/05/2025 23:23

I picked YABU. For having the obnoxious fucker in your life at all.

Ellie56 · 18/05/2025 23:25

Nope. Don't buy his pile of old shit. There's a problem with it or there very soon will be. PP have helpfully highlighted what the issues are likely to be. Your horrible brother is just looking to shaft you. You don't need him in your life.

Spend your money on a cruise with your lovely DH instead.

Tigergirl80 · 18/05/2025 23:28

Don’t buy it there was a Tonight programme about static caravan ownership a few weeks ago. Honestly more trouble than they’re worth. If it’s such a good an investment as he’s making out he would be able to flog it. He’s a money hungry CF.

Blackcountrychik83 · 18/05/2025 23:30

A lot of sites you can’t sell the caravans privately they make you sell them back to them first and they resell them . We’ve had 3 in our family over the past few years . all with the same rules . I’m sure the ones who DO allow private sales still want a cut of it aswell coz they charge you to sign the caravan over to someone else . The sites I’ve known charge £1000 just to sign it over.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 18/05/2025 23:32

Yanbu. If he needs the money he can sell it to someone else - someone that actually wants it.

heinztomatosoup · 18/05/2025 23:35

As other posted have said, the site fees are horrendous. A family member just sold their static due to site fees, water rates doubling, as well as rental income reducing the further we come out of Covid due to cheaper overseas holidays. The whole thing was a massive financial drain and they sold at a huge loss 😢 Please don’t do it!

Someone2025 · 18/05/2025 23:36

Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 23:05

Thank you MNers. I needed a reality check & I got one. I guess that I have to accept that my brother is a CF & maybe I don't need that. He's my younger brother & when we were younger I always looked out for him. Time for him to grow up.

I'm drafting an email to tell him thanks, but no I won't be buying his caravan. God only knows what he did with all the money that he made from the pictures, antique books, Staffordshire figures, Clarice Cliff sets etc that he took from our parent's house. I suspect that his ex benefited as she stuck around for just long enough before she left him for the second time.

He probably tried to sell it and found out that there were some issue and that’s why he wants you to buy it

Also given the age of the caravan some caravan sites won’t allow caravans that are old and badly maintained on them so it may not even have that many years left on it depending on the condition

Splain · 18/05/2025 23:38

No, either he is trying to rip you off or he can get the same price selling it on the open market. I think I know which one of these it is. But the only scenario in which he benefits from selling it to you, rather than anyone else, is if you're paying more than it's worth.

Buying an expensive item from them is not a typical favour people ask if their friends and loved ones. Be very wary. If he needs to sell it he can sell it... at market price.

JudgeJ · 18/05/2025 23:43

Have you ever asked him about the stuff he took from your parents' house?

Mmhmmn · 18/05/2025 23:44

Do not buy his caravan. He doesn’t sound like a nice person tbh. He doesn’t have your interests at heart AT ALL. Tell him once and for all you do not want the caravan and to sell it to someone else and/or sort out his money issues another way (without involving you).ie why doesn’t he buy a 2 bed bungalow as well! He sounds very money oriented without perhaps the nous to go with it.

Caravan values depreciate like f**k.

DoodlesMam · 18/05/2025 23:48

Ineedtocheckmylist · 18/05/2025 22:49

For context my DH & me are not wealthy, but we both have decent pensions (DH retired, me partially retired) & a fair bit in savings as when we got married we both sold our family-sized houses & bought a 2 bed bungalow.

My parents used to buy antique items at auction and, many years ago had some very nice pieces of furniture, antique rugs etc.

Brother lives about 2 hour's drive away. When my parents were alive I lived about 10 minute's walk away from them, but have since moved to somewhere close in the area.

My brother, although he earns a good salary, & owns a large house split into 2 flats (one rented out), but has a large mortgage as he had to buy his Xpartner out - twice as they got back together having split up.

I have a difficult relationship with my brother as I cared for my parents when they were sick, he did absolutely nothing until mum died & swept down, changed the locks & took anything of real value leaving me to clear the rest.

But, my parents have been dead for nearly 5 years now & we have started repairing our relationship meeting occasionally for lunch, email each other & I would like to continue that.

When my mother died (9 months after my father) he accused me of stealing things from the house that my parents got rid of many years ago. He was such a rare visitor that he didn't remember that they'd had to get rid of things like coffee tables & the nice rugs as they were a trip hazard for my father who had Parkinson's. He also accused me of stealing my mother's clothes (she was 2 sizes bigger than me), items of jewellery & of making a mess of the house in the process. He didn't understand that my parents were so ill that they never bothered to put anything away & the mess that the house was in was the mess that they lived in. When I said that he said that I should have cleared the house up for them. But when I visited (every morning & evening - whilst working full-time, to help get my father up, fed & then to get them their evening meal & help my father to bed, sometimes been called to them in the middle of the night when daddy had a fall) my mother would get very cross if I tried to tidy up saying that it was her house & I had no right to tidy after her - something that I respected. So I limited myself to making sure that everything in the fridge & kitchen cupboards was in date while I was cooking for them & keeping the kitchen & bathrooms clean.

My brother has a static caravan on the coast near where DH & me live. He's pressurising me to buy it from him. I've said that we have no need of it. Brother has provided evidence that it's giving a fairly good rental income & that it would be somewhere for DH's children & grandchildren to enjoy. I have no GC of my own, but regard DH's as mine.

I'm saying that I don't want the bother of it. Brother is pressurising me by saying that he's in financial straights & it would be a way of helping him out. I'm saying that he's an adult & his financial circumstances are his problem. Afterall he got a not-unsubstantial inheritance from our parents (as did I). Also if it's giving such a good rental income, he should hang on to it as it will give him the money that he says he needs.

DH is saying if I want to buy it from my personal money that's my choice. But I'm thinking if it's such a good deal why is my brother getting rid?

I think that I can guess what MN friends will say, but I don't want to put a further barrier between my brother & me.

So AIBU to tell my brother no thank you & risk deepening the rift? We're talking about him selling the caravan that is about 8 years old for £15K.

tell your brother to bugger off with his caravan. don't even think about buying it.

GenF · 18/05/2025 23:50

Dear user brother thanks but no thanks, don't contact us again byyyyeee.

UrbanMonstrosity · 18/05/2025 23:54

Don’t trust him. He’s definitely doing something underhand.

heavenisaplaceonearth · 18/05/2025 23:57

Don’t buy it, you don’t want it.

PullTheBricksDown · 19/05/2025 00:08

Agree with everyone else, don't buy it and he's horrible! Would it make it any easier to say your DH is opposed to you buying it? Of course that shouldn't be necessary but it's clear that he sees you as a doormat and doesn't respect boundaries. He might back off more quickly with the threat of your DH getting involved.