AIBU to stop my partner from forcing our daughter into more sports?

[Opalskies]

In my family we have a rule that our kids need to do an athletic activity outside of school. Just one, to keep them active and healthy.

My DH is very athletic, and enjoys a wide range of sports, which is a hobby that he shares with our son. My daughter on the other hand, only enjoys playing tennis, but would much rather be reading or drawing.

The problem is that DH wants our daughter to stop doing the activities she loves and replace them with more sports, something she doesn't want to do.

I don't want to force my daughter into playing additional sports she doesn't want to do, and so I put my foot down, saying no, but my DH keeps insisting.

Am I being unreasonable though?

what is wirth the teams good solitary bad thing?

WTF! She plays tennis four times a week for 1.5 hours and that isn't enough for your DH? Tell him to leave her alone.

Her opinion is valued. I don't believe that one sport or physical activity can be considered rigid either, especially considering that she chose the activity she wanted to do, and I'm stopping my DH into trying to force her into something she doesn't want to do.

what exactly is rigid about it?

Your daughter is about to start feeling like the things she enjoys aren't good enough for her dad. Stick up for her. There is absolutely no reason to be pushing her into additional sports at the expense of other things she enjoys.

3 hours physical activity a day?

Are you including general stuff like walking around the workplace, out for lunch, housework etc? Or actual cardio type stuff?

So your DD has to do another sport because of a ridiculous rule that you made up - based on activities your DH likes (not your DC but your husband). I would be really making sure she likes tennis and I would absolutely not be pandering to your husband’s nonsense. If I have read this right she is already following the ‘rule’ by doing tennis 4 days a week plus PE at school? That is enough!!

You are signalling that who she is ( someone who enjoys reading and art) is not enough for your idiot of a husband. Whilst this may not be an issue now it will be when she is a teenager and when you have to tread very carefully building her confidence and her self esteem.

You need to stop this now, be a parent, advocate for her!!! your husband is being really, unreally unreasonable.

frankly? I don't count "walking to school" as being active, not everyone has to trek for miles, I live less than 30mn walk from my kids primary and secondary school and they are chatting and messing with friends, hardly power walking.

Also, none of my kids mates are around to spend days in parks or cycling all weekends, they are all going from one club to another and forever pushing the others to join with them.

It doesn't have to be an "organised sport" of course, but at 10, it's either clubs or groups, or with parents to take them and go with. I don't know any 10 yo would would grab a towel and go by themselves to the nearest swimming pool, or would go climbing trees alone, do you?

This. Reading is an exceptional hobby.

Exactly this.

And when do they get to do activities such as drawiong, photography, drama, choir?
There is no bloody need to do a sport every day if they dont enjoy it?

where did you get 3 hours a day? I haven't got 3 hours a day, unfortunately, I work 😂. I wish I had 3 hours a day to do my own sport, it must be bliss!

No, I don't count walking from my desk to the coffee machine or hoovering as "physical activity", but you are just being sarcastic now.

Exercise does t have to mean team sports. A dance club or riding a bike or swimming fits the bill too. I would say it’s great parenting to ensure a little bit of physical activity every week

No, neither of us would stop her from doing another club, no matter what it was.
Our rule is to do one sport or physical activity, this can be after school club or just an activity with nothing to do with the school. It could be running, or cycling, or anything they wanted to do.

Well no op

it isn’t “our rule”

Your dh is making up his own

"but I believe that we all need to do a few hours of physical activity every single day, the same way we all need sleep"

You just said it.

I got it from you? "Clearly it touches a nerve with some, but I believe that we all need to do a few hours of physical activity every single day,"

Not being sarcastic at all I was genuinely trying to work out how the actual living fuck someone would do a few/3 hours physical activity a day that wasn't normal moving around stuff unless they were a SAHP with school age kids.

I actually thought you were on the wind up there tbh 🤣

It is.

Who said it has to be one or the other? You can do plenty of both, sports and reading?

@Opalskies i think most posters are reacting to YOUR DH ideas of what your dd should do.

Not what you think is best - which most of us agree to!

Nobody needs to do more than one sport though. Physical activities and/or an active lifestyle can take many forms.

Not everyone enjoys sports. I say this as someone who loves sport and enjoys competition.

Creative activities are just as valid a d also beneficial to overall wellbeing.

The important point is that this girl does not want to do another sport. Surely tennis is enough. It's not an easy sport to learn.

The "few hours" was referring to CHILDREN who, in my country, finish school at 3pm... and mine don't go to bed until 9pm or later.

As an adult, I try to squeeze 1 hour to 2 hours a day as much as I can.

Can I just ask why would this be a wind-up? Many people manage to watch tv every day for at least 1 hour at least every evening. If they can find that time, why can't the rest of us have the same ability?

I'll say it again - Daughter chose to play tennis, because she likes playing tennis. She tried lots of other sports/activities before tennis that she didn't enjoy. She wasn't forced into playing something she doesn't like or enjoy. Husband wants her to play more sports because he enjoys them, I put a stop to it - (my aibu question). She also decided on how often she wanted to play.
She still does lots of other things that she enjoys, reading, drawing, writing etc.

Tell him that the only other sport she wants to do is show jumping and price up 3x weekly riding lessons plus the cost of shows. If that number doesn’t seem high enough, add on the cost of buying and maintaining a horse for her.

He’ll probably never mention it again.

How many hours a day do you spend in front of a screen out of curiosity? Not including your job, or stuck in a train commuting of course. Genuinely, how many minutes or hours do you spend scrolling internet or watching tv?

It's all about choices.

There's nothing wrong with solitary activities. In fact, they can be very good for our well-being.

This child clearly spends plenty of time with others at school and in her sport, it's nice that she enjoys spending time in peace reading too.

Ah, it wasnt clear you meant children, what with you saying "we all"......

Unlike that ^, I believe it was clear in my post why I thought you were on a bit of a wind up