Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

[OverTheRainbow22]

My partner has been a new Dad before as he has a child from a previous relationship. He has been supportive through the pregnancy but also quite nonchalant in terms of any anxiousness I had about how life would change, says we will quickly adapt and it’s nothing to worry about and he’s been there and done it before.

He said it’s tradition in his friendship group to go out and wet the baby’s head. This was set for today as our baby is now more settled in and I’m finding my feet after a challenging first couple of weeks.

He said he was going to the pub for a gathering his best friend arranged but they actually got the train to another town nearby. He is not going to be back for another half hour or so, and went out early afternoon. Based on his messages, he is pretty slaughtered too.

I’m unimpressed to say the least given I was led to believe he’d be a couple of hours. Is this extreme by ‘wetting the baby’s head’ standards or should I let it go and ‘bank’ an outing for myself?

I agree, your DH needs to be told he is to look after baby for a day when you go out.

Blimey you're dramtic.

Then book your spa day.

Indeed. But then to be fair, puking on the doorstep and leaving it for the health visitor is very Daisy/ Onslo.

My husband and his pals wet the babies heads. They went across the road and had a single pint 1 afternoon about 8 weeks in. Then came back and had a civilsed visit on the house. Like normal people

Do you have anyone nearby OP that can support you if you need it? It's very outdated and regardless of whether he has done it before this is a different relationship, a new baby etc and he should have considered this not be stuck in the past. Just because he has done it all before how did it all turn out? Hopefully ok!

I hope you've read him the riot act, OP! What a twit he is!

That or your standards are way off. More likely the latter.

If that's your reaction to someone who doesn't think leaving vomit on your doorstep for 24 hours for others to step over I'll take that name with pride. Don't even think Onslow would be as revolting

Because they have a healthy attitude toward parenting? Nothing wrong with either party having the odd day off.

At two weeks post partum?

I couldn't even walk

Tricky if you're breastfeeding

Ha ha. Same here, with my first I could barely walk after 6 weeks!
In those days though (early 90s) we stayed in hospital for a few days at least after a tricky birth so ExDP did go out and wet the baby's head, it was traditional then.

Is it healthy if it has only been a couple of weeks so two or so and OP has stated that she is still finding her feet which is normal.

She may have awhile before she can go out for a bit herself comfortably and as she said, she was led to believe he would be gone for a few hours.

I’d get it if it was maybe where OP could go out for the same amount of time her DH is, but doesn’t read like that is the case.

Is there really no other way to celebrate then getting drunk and having your spouse have to deal with you and a new baby afterwards?

So? Even less reason for man to hang around.

Actually she stated she would bank it for a day out herself. She’s made no reference to finding things really difficult and seems to have a pretty balanced approach. But as normal mumsnet nonsense is taking over. It’s astonishing that so many women think that parent requires two people all the time.

I was out and about at 2 weeks with a 3 year old, 2 year old, post c section and a broken leg.

It was 12 hours
It was 20 years ago
No one died

Being supportive of his child makes him an amazing dad?? Right…I thought that came with the territory, y’know l, just being a parent 🤷🏼‍♀️

I meant in general!

though I was still out and about walking with my baby in the pram after a week as dh only got a weeks paternity leave then .

everyone is different.

and as for @Didimum my bar is set very high, even my daughter says she admires how high my bar is for relationships, friendships etc.She says it’s set her up for friendships and boyfriends and how little she tolerates certain things as I’ve set such a good example. The wise words of a 21 year old.

I misinterpreted that she has now found her feet and I did see that she’ll bank it for herself.

Still doesn’t change the fact that some new mums wouldn’t be comfortable with it and some would be and that there are others ways to celebrate a new baby.

It’s nice you were able to manage, not really a contest, but some mums didn’t and do struggle.

The starting point here seems to be “oh my god you went out once you have no redeeming features or skills as a parent at all”.

So? That isn’t the case here. Should couples who are coping restrict their lives because others aren’t…?

I was just interested in what made him ‘amazing!’ Turns out, he’s just doing what a decent dad would do! I didn’t really care about him vomiting on the doorstep and the HV seeing it the next day…I couldn’t care a jot about that, he didn’t do it in my doorstep, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Surely if she was really struggling it would be obvious to her husband, or you know she could have asked him not to go out/come home, or she could have rallied in other support. She sounds like a princess who needs to get a grip, being a mother has many challenges and this isn't one.
if she's struggling now god help her in time, 2 wk olds feed and sleep, that's it!
@Didimum gosh you sound very hard work! Are you single?