Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

[OverTheRainbow22]

My partner has been a new Dad before as he has a child from a previous relationship. He has been supportive through the pregnancy but also quite nonchalant in terms of any anxiousness I had about how life would change, says we will quickly adapt and it’s nothing to worry about and he’s been there and done it before.

He said it’s tradition in his friendship group to go out and wet the baby’s head. This was set for today as our baby is now more settled in and I’m finding my feet after a challenging first couple of weeks.

He said he was going to the pub for a gathering his best friend arranged but they actually got the train to another town nearby. He is not going to be back for another half hour or so, and went out early afternoon. Based on his messages, he is pretty slaughtered too.

I’m unimpressed to say the least given I was led to believe he’d be a couple of hours. Is this extreme by ‘wetting the baby’s head’ standards or should I let it go and ‘bank’ an outing for myself?

Well i suppose there's alot of lifting up at strip clubs

I did. Which is more than many others.

Sorry you’re right. We must all sit around and sulk.

I don’t have the motivation to list to you all the ways he is a great dad.
You’re obviously a deeply sad individual, desperate for an argument.
Bore off and pick it with someone else.

What a lovely tradition and way to celebrate the birth of his baby by looking at other women's tits. It's quite heartwarming.

Can't believe that in 2025 there's still women falling for the 'good competent mothers can cope on their own' scam. Sitting around patting themselves on the back because they can manage their new born so they don't have to inconvenience their partner when he wants to go on the piss. For the avoidance of doubt, it's not about being unable to cope. It's about why should you have to? If you're genuinely happy that your child's father goes out for a couple of drinks and gets so drunk he's useless and you have to do it all - well, it takes all sorts, so go at it. But trying to shame other women who wouldnt put up with it as less capable is just being a bit of a useful idiot.

It's like the Four Yorkshire Men round here.

That isn’t what this is. I didn’t manage on my own. I was quite fine. And you know what. So was my husband. You don’t both need to be there all of the time. It’s fine for you both to take time out.

At a strip club?

Its fine for both to take time out when the other person is happy to do double duty to facilitate it, and when you've done them the courtesy of being honest about what you want to do, so they know what to expect and can agree to covering for you. Going out for a couple of drinks and ending up making a drunken night of it, leaving the other person with no choice but to pick up your share of the responsibility is not fine. Objecting is entirely reasonable and no reflection on your ability to parent. In much the same way if your colleague dropped their work in your lap and went home at 10am, being annoyed with them wouldn't mean you were incompetent at your job.

Who has said it’s not fine to take time out?

I had 6 hours in hospital after my DC born in 94

Oh Good. We agree.

Her level of objection is to bank it. Perfect!

I've no idea what that means?

I can assure you my bar is high, dh treats me well, we have total respect for each other and we are allowed a day/ night out with our friends, hence why we have lasted 30 years together.

ive seen many people in relationships who have been treated like shit and I wouldn’t tolerate that. A night out isn’t being treated like shit, if it’s a one off. If it’s every weekend then there’s a problem.

you need to relax , stop making assumptions and stop picking apart posts of people who disagree with you. We are all entitled to our own opinions.

you seem more annoyed than the actual OP is. .

No I don’t think it suffering. I think it’s suffering to expect people to have nothing outside their child when they want to spend a day with their mates. A day. Not a year. Not every night. A day. **

She wants to bank it so she can presumably get a day off too.

Off that's how you want to rationalise your husband letting you get on with it with a newborn and a broken leg then I guess that's what you have to do.

He was supposed to quit his job…? How was that going to work?

Being away from you when he has to be and you have a newborn, fine. It's telling that you say he was finding it hard so you took some of that off him. Who took the responsibility off you? Why do you need to be stronger than him? Because someone has to parent the baby, right? Well a dad should be as capable of stepping up as aum and a dad should be as dedicated when not at work as a mum. A dad going to get pissed with a 2 week old and post partum partner at home is not a team player

Why do you think that because he went out I never did?

It never really works that way. She'll have her day off doing something mild and harmless that doesn't involve strippers and doesn't stop her getting up with the baby in the morning. Then he'll use that to justify his next big night on the lash. Because when it comes down to it, the baby has one parent who will happily render themselves incapable of caring for them without a by your leave, and the OP, who probably never would.

Speak for yourself.

Is there going to be strippers down the pub?