Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

I hate people who cannot keep their kids quiet, why do they have to scream like their leg is being cut off?? I'm with your neighbour and would be giving you a taste of your own medicine.

You also said “ just because they are loud doesn’t mean they are loud enough to go through walls of a house” How do you know how loud the kids are actually being? You don’t. You’re taking the word of a stranger on the internet, writing a post about her loud kids (ops words)

It might not have been your intention but you said “people who don’t like kids are not nurturing.” Also, lets say if the neighbour did have kids and was still complaining about the noise does that make her not nurturing?

Why is videoing children illegal? What law is this?

It's some made up shite to suit the poster's narrative. Common on MN.

You are the nuisance in this situation. There’s children playing and there’s children screaming. You need to teach your children not to scream in the garden. Are you sure you can cope with looking after more children ?

For what it's worth, I don't think you are being in the least unreasonable, your neighbour is being ridiculous, if she can't tolerate the kind of noise that living with close neighbours entails she needs to go and live somewhere else.
I can't understand why so many people commenting here seem to think your family is the problem!

Good news! Now the neighbour can film the kids as well as wake them up in the wee small hours 🥳

😅

Sooo many people commenting against op have read the full thread, have you? Op has constantly made negative comments about her neighbour to fit her narrative of being the victim and gain sympathy over something which is her fault. Maybe all the people commenting against op understand that op needs to parent her children and also not to make smug classless comments about her neighbour. Or people understand screaming, unruly children are just not cute.

Holy fuckballs! I've just got in from work & you lot are STILL wittering on about screaming children that you've literally made up 😂

Though I see 'screeching' has made an appearance, so that's fun.

I wonder how many posts more it will take before the kids are outside torturing animals?

You're all quite mad.

OK babe 😭

The majority thinks she’s being unreasonable, so yeah okay babe🥸

Now come on, don't be classless 🥸

It’s against privacy laws to film someone in a private setting. It would also be classed as harassment. If op did set up a childminding business. There could be children there who are at risk (may have been fostered/adopted) it is certainly not okay to film them. Would you think it’s okay to go into a school and film random children too?

Yes, everyone except you is mad.

Aren't you amazing.

Children don’t exist to be “cute” for adults 🤢

I mean wow. That’s a reach 🙄 It’s called S.A.R.C.A.S.M. darling.

well you said more than once that they shout at each other and that you shout at them. your story keeps changing which leads me to believe it is much worse than you describe. Young kids have no ability to self regulate, they do so through co-regulation with a regulated carer. If you are disregulated for whatever reason so are your kids.
you have to understand the world does not revolve around your kids, people around you have just as much right to enjoy their home as you do. Kids learn good behaviors if parents put in the effort just like other parents on this thread said. Being a child doesn't have to equate being a screaming machine. I honestly cannot understand what is it with parents these days and people more generally, when did we become so inconsiderate and completely lacking self awareness, respect for those around us. Where we live used to be so peaceful. the last few summers has been unbearable. Kids screaming and shoufing at each other non stop for hours. they do not speak they shout every word. parents catatonic scrolling on their phones. screechy swings, jumping and screaming on trampolines up to 10 pm, mother's excuse, they got a bit excited with visitors. It is absolute hell.
You justify it with ADHD. It is absoluteky not an ADHD trait to shout and be loud. I have ADHD and noise is hell for me. Parenting is hard and it is also optional. Don't put the burden of your choices on your neighbour. And childminding? Based on my experiences of living nect to one before who also couldn't educate her own children well, if I were your neighbour I would object strongly and possibly take legal action.

I do not mind peoples different perspectives on the same situation

BUT

This post started as~

my children are loud characters, excitable, and one has a deep voice for his age……….. ONE to TWO hours of a day they play in the garden !!

YOU BONKERS LOT changed that to … screaming ALL day long ….’ Rowdier than most ‘ To then SCREECHING

my “ sweet kind boys “ which I wrote , you changed to ‘ rowdy… and BRATS ‘ and entitled.

and yes Asd and adhd do factor here also in volume control AT TIMES NOT ALL DAY LONG ( the uneducated ones who said it didn’t .

you literally gave the story - some brand new characters and a new plot… just to get angry at !!!!

go and get your head testing and spend less time on mumsnet

peace out ✌️

Yes, I think that puts the tin lid on it. Your poor neighbour.

The 'why are you hitting yourself in the face? Stop hitting yourself in the face haha', whilst you hit them in the face with their own hands, of replies.

Go have a look at everything you’ve posted and replies too and you will see that actually you have used the word scream several times. That’s why people are calling you out as your story keeps changing. I would suggest if you post in future then stay consistent, keep things relevant and tell the truth as people can see through all that bullshit which from most of your replies they clearly have done here.

Yes, I have indeed read the full thread....and have made up my mind accordingly! There is surely scope for more than one conclusion considering that nobody here can really know who, if anyone, is being unreasonable.

Yes but you originally said “I can't understand why so many people commenting here seem to think your family is the problem!” Indicating you think her neighbour is the one being unreasonable.

But now you’re saying there’s scope for more than one conclusion which doesn’t support what you originally said, why so many people did not support OP.