Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

No. I think good for her and next time turn it up louder

Literally the only way to handle being the OP of an even possibly slightly controversial thread is to just ignore the weird ones. Don’t reply/try to endlessly justify and soothe and explain. They sense they then have you on the hook and they escalate and escalate the insults and theories and nonsense until you have someone just typing the words selfish selfish selfish over and over as above.
Engage only with the thoughtful and considered replies, totally ignore the rest - they will still get wound up and red faced and increase the vitriol but it’s easier if you’re not trying to explain yourself.

😅😅

@Drangea yes I know your right. I had no idea mumsnet was full of keyboard warriors . Out for blood. But I’m getting the picture now

thanks

Hahaha fuck me

Yes, only engage with the thoughtful replies, the ones telling me you’re right, the replies that give validation and everyone who doesn’t think so is wrong, wrong, wrong. I’m joking, relax. She asked for advice on a public forum, people are going to have opinions when it comes to noise and children. She’s been given some good advice. I do think people will also get defensive and think any comment that doesn’t agree with them is some kind of personal attack on them, their kids and parenting choices. I do think Op has been purposely snarky regarding comments about her neighbour to gain sympathy which people have noticed hence some of the replies.

I particularly like the replies encouraging OP to engage in a tit-for-tat "fuck around and find out" course of action.

The one where someone would 'make sure the neighbour never got a lie in again' was a good one. If I was the neighbour I'd relish the challenge if that started as I could sleep through a nuclear attack, personally, and when I did finally wake up I'd still struggle to rouse DH who has been known to sleep through a smoke alarm going off in the room he's asleep in.

The neighbour could easily wear ear plugs if they needed to in the event of OP deliberately trying to wake them early. OP wouldn't have as much luck getting 2 and 6 YOs to wear ear plugs if the neighbour decided to retaliate and make a racket at 3am each day.

No, it’s a woman at the end of her tether having a selfish neighbour who won’t supervise her children properly.

Always everyone else with the problem and not people like you who are the problem

@HorsesDuvets 😂 also the neighbour is retired, has no children, has no visitors and doesn’t leave the house all day. So really, what else is she going to do with her time? We don’t know why Op seems to know all this?

Genuine question: have you read the post where OP says 'it is for an hour or so after school and at the weekend'?
Have you understood it?

This is good advice!!

It is. We're living it at the moment. We've had to drop £££££ on sound proofing. Tried talking to them. We've accepted so much but just now the 5 year old girl was screaming, actual dog whistle top of your lungs screaming, on and off for about 6 minutes in the garden. I sort of did a 'Raarrgghhh' to myself and slammed our back door and window in frustration. I'm so fed up of it. Been here 6 months. Had we known we'd never have moved here.

This.

I was simply stating the fact that people do in fact make it known they don’t like kids. How am I ignorant? I know people that hate kids, yes people that have hurt their own kids but this literally has nothing to do with anything. I was simply disproving the comments of someone trying to state no one ever says they hate kids. Some people live in a box and just because they don’t see or hear something they believe it’s impossible. It’s really not that far fetched considering people have said way worse in the world. I don’t need to give my head a wobble, I’m very aware of both sides of a coin not just the one like the person I quoted was.
everyone keeps saying about the neighbour deserving peace, what about the ops family deserving to enjoy thier garden.? It goes both ways.

Yes she did, and yes I did, just because they are loud doesn’t mean they are loud enough to go through walls of a house. She also stated they are in bed between 7&7. So it’s not like they are making shit loads of noise late and constant. I suspect the oldest is at school during the day so that’s not noisy.

and this kind of comment is exactly why the neighbour was right to make a point.

doesn’t mean they are loud enough to go through walls of a house. As it's a nuisance the neighbour is complaining about, they are.

I’m not disagreeing with you about people who are open about not liking children. Loads of people don’t like kids, there isn’t anything wrong with that, that’s their opinion. I think it’s better to be open about not liking them. You’re ignorant because you said people who don’t like kids are not nurturing. What evidence or reasons do you have that supports this? Because that’s a pretty big statement to make if you’re trying to disprove a comment from someone who says no one ever says they hate kids. Being nurturing has nothing to do whether someone likes kids or not, so it wasn’t relevant. That was my point. You can’t just make stuff up for the sake of trying to prove someone wrong. At least back it up with either facts or an unbiased reason.

Yes I agree it works both ways. Both families have the right to enjoy their garden/ be free from excessive noise. I’m not disagreeing with you.

Well she used loud several times and loud means excessive noise. But who has the monopoly to say what is loud or not loud enough? My version of loud will differ to yours. Op said the walls are thin so yes the noise probably will travel through the walls especially if she can heard her neighbour blasting her radio? I doubt you’d be able to hear the radio if they were thick walls. The noise is obviously an issue as I doubt falling out with a neighbour would be worth the stress.

Op and Poster admits yes they are loud and used loud throughout the post but apparently not loud enough to go through walls. Ok 😂

That’s what I said in my first post… perception is different for everyone.

I didn’t mean all people that don’t like kids are not nurturing, that wasn’t my intention, I just mentioned that in relation to how op described her neighbours, but they can come hand in hand so tbh I’m not completely off the scale.