Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

Yes and she doesn’t like them.
I do have a child (grown up) but wouldn’t want to live next to a neighbour with noisy kids who works as a childminder.

Yes of course. But just because one set of neighbours find it endearing doesnt give you reason to dismiss the others complaint.

Get the wall insulation up when renovating.
If she hates it that much she will complain and even if it’s not going to shut your business it may very well devalue your house. Sounds like she isn’t moving so she won’t care.

@TheHerboriste Who hurt you?!?

So from what i read, you cant control your own children very well. You are inflicting them on your neighbour without any consideration and you cant take it when someone gives you a taste of your own medicine.

If you then plan to look after someone elses children, something i wouldnt advise considering you struggle with your own, you think thats going to work out well with this neighbour? Commercial setup changes the rules on what is and isnt acceptable with regards to noise. Could prove to be very expensive trying to soundproof your home. Also sounds like your neighbour is quite capable of fighting fire with fire. Be warned, this is going to get messy

This is what I meant, who would choose this chaotic, loud environment to send their children to. I'd take one look and leave. But good luck OP if you think others will be into it

I have asd and adhd child and if left alone thry will get lohder and louder.. we bring them in if making excessive noise. The odd yelp, ok, but when they start to get roudy its inside time and separated into different rooms.
This is usually after about half hour, they have half hour break then they can go back out , its stressful and involved continuous monitoring. Parenting asd and adhd is not easy I know, separating works until the have calmed down. Or its one at a time outside.

people in england can be, i agree, be a little uptight - not everyone of course! And surely any visitor, family member, grocery delivery guy or whatever would have the same 'impact. We certainly have a couple of dozen amazon vans (and suchlike on our cul-de-sac every day...

How can you possibly become a childminder if you can't get a child of your own to be quiet. I wouldn't want my children in a chaotic house and I feel sorry for your neighbour.

Screaming is for emergencies and is not normal play

Get yourself a decibel meter app on your phone, and set a limit for noise levels in the garden (and house).
Then make up a star chart and award them a star when they stick below that limit. It’s a new game, and that’s how kids learn.
It might be easier on you to let them carry on, but learning how to control their volume is a very useful life skill, and makes your whole family look better.

Most of Mumsnet are scared to open their front door and spend their lives castigating people online for being humans. You’ve had a lot of mad answers here.
We have had a similar experience with neighbours recently - didn’t realise we were making noise that was bothering them and instead of talking to us like adults they banged and screamed abuse through the walls which then escalated. Once we actually managed to reason with them we fixed the issue in 5 minutes. But they are now absolutely dead to me, luckily DH is a peacemaker but if it were up to me they’d be getting heavy metal music through the wall every time they banged and screamed.

I would be firm with her - the children will be in the garden, making normal children noise during waking hours. Responding to that with illegal antisocial noise in the night is harassment and waking and affecting small children is your red line. If it continues she will be reported to council/PCSO etc.
You will of course not allow excessive or antisocial noise from your kids.
Don’t let her walk all over you . Good luck xx

I'm a childminder and the children aren't allowed to scream unreasonably outside. I wouldn't like it if kids were doing it next door to me.
The last thing you want is malicious complaints being made to Ofsted and having an inspector turn up on the doorstep.

’they go to bed at 7.00pm’

translation - Suck it up neighbour they can scream all day long but you can have peace and quiet after 7.00pm!

Her nerves are probably frazzled by them.

Selfish, selfish, selfish parenting by you.

@GeorgianaM
Hey! Just wondering if you think the neighbour playing her radio through the wall at 4.30am was also selfish, selfish, selfish behaviour?

I have had to listen to a child scream, screech and whine from 10:25am today

@GeorgianaM @Tbrh

ok less of the selfish selfish selfish chat. I am far from it hence caring to even ask strangers opinions on the matter and talk to the lady next door myself

and @Tbrh get a grip - you have created I live in a chaotic environment I live far from it . My children make noise yes

NOT all day @GeorgianaM for maybe an hour or two a day if that .

I think agree with the people on here that said some crazy angry ppl on mumsnet

calm down before your respond -

im not a monster ! !

@Thatsnotmynamee funny no one in here mentions that part - so I’m thinking they have had some bad experiences cos they are very angry about it 😂

@GeorgianaM if her nerves are frazzled by 1 / 2 hour of play a day , that is loud at times when they get excited , then god help the women ! Not sure how she copes in life

or you by the sounds of it

Speaking of “calm down” 🙄

You sound quite angry yourself. As I said before, I'd like to get your neighbour's version of what's been going on because you rely are coming across as goady and unreasonable.

My parents have suffered for ten years with a next door neighbour that has an ASD child. The child is now a teenager and she kicks and bangs the walls so hard the house shakes. She screams and bangs from the minute she is awake at 05:30 until she goes to school and then from the minute she gets home until well into the night. My parent’s sleep and psychological well being has been severely impacted by it. And all the mother does is shrug and say she can’t do anything about it. She doesn’t even try. She locks her in her room and then sits downstairs with ear defenders on. She can’t manage the teenagers behaviour at home but won’t move her to residential care which would be better for everyone, the teen included. It’s so unfair to subject neighbours to this level, frequency and duration of noise on neighbours.

What in the ELF are you talking about? At no point, not once, has OP said her kids scream. Not once.

You could always, yanno, read her actual comments 🤷🏼

My god this thread is absolutely batshit.

No wonder you're in agreement with OP, going by your own attitude. You must have pushed your neighbour's for them to respond like that and you reckon you didn't know your noise was bothering them- or didn't care? The neighbour is showing she won't be a pushover either.

@Dangermoo if you bothered reading the comments and what I had written you would see why I replied as I did .

also stop making up a narrative and adding bits onto a story .

@Caerulea i honestly didn’t not know mumsnet was full of so many angry people 😂 I had never posted before . It’s like Chinese whispers how much they have added onto my original posts .

i am thinking a lot of people relate to this women next door and taking their own issues out on me

I had to double check that I wrote loud and excited kids ……. and not “ hi my name is rose west and iv moved in next door “