WWYD? My best friend has posted pictures of my kids AGAIN without my consent

[Chaibaby]

Help me process this please.....
My best friend has her own business and does a lot of promotion and marketing on social media platforms.

A few months ago she used an image of my child on these (without my consent), promoting her business with the usual #hashtags, and trying to attract new customers, actively asking people to come and check out her page.
Her security settings are not private, so this goes EVERYWHERE and to EVERYONE, on multiple social media platforms.
I didn't know she was planning this, and when I saw it, immediately asked her to take it down, explaining I wasn't comfortable with it, and concerned that any Tom Dick or Harry will be looking at my child. I felt it wasn't appropriate and completely unrelated to her work. It was unashamedily self promotion. I also explained tht I didn't like the idea of her using my children and 'marketing fodder' for her to promote herself and get more likes, dangling images of a cute child to get attention doesn't sit right. She apologised, and removed the image. We moved on.

Now it has happened again, only now there are more tags (including high profile celebrities). With the purpose I assume to gain more traction out there, and increase footfall to her FB, Insta etc. She introduced my child in the post by name and shared and other details (favourite toys etc)
Again, once I saw this, I immediately asked for her to remove this.
She apologised and said she didn't mean to offend me. Again I have had to be quite graphic about the safeguarding issue here, and what can happen to these images when the wrong person gets them, the dangers of posting childrens details online.

I'm so upset this has happened again, and feel utterly horrible at having to call this out. I've been in floods of tears about it.
AIBU expecting someone to know this basic online ettiquete?
She has now cancelled a trip we had planned together later in the year, being cold add distant. I've asked to if we can talk about this, and been shut down. And I'm left feeling like the world's worst person, and looks like I've lost my best friend. Actually crying as I write this...
I've been left feeling so angry about this, bloodly social media - I feel like her ego is more important than my child's protection. But she just doens't get it.
What do I do? Any advise is greatly recieved.

So we can never ever presume someone is being a touch dramatic on the off chance they have something like borderline personality disorder or similar? @Thefsm

To do it once ids cheeky. To do it again knowing you were unhappy, she is not a good friend. And then she freezes you out. I’d drop her she doesn’t value or respect you

It's DEFINITELY a safeguarding issue. What on earth are people on here? Having a child's photo, name, location and favourite toy posted publicly on the internet is incredibly dangerous and can make them a very easy target for predators who would know exactly where they are, what they look like and what toys to lure them with or start a conversation from these posts. You are definitely not the AH and if you have lost this friendship then it's a small cost to pay to protect your children. If you explain this and she doesn't care or understand then it's safer she has no access to photos of your children.

Actually it IS a safeguarding issue: the woman is allegedly using unauthorised photos of the children to try to sell whatever it is she is using the photos to market. That is a clear example of trying to exploit the children for her financial gain, and any kind of exploitation is a safeguarding issue.

It is also perfectly reasonable for the mum to be very concerned about online safety and the use of her child's photos for potentially horrifically nefarious purposes: the "friend" published photos of the children that absolutely anyone can see, and then do whatever they want with those photos. That's a no. Our privacy - and the privacy of our children - is one of the most valuable things we possess. For a "friend" to try to give that away just because she wants to sell some crapola is shocking behaviour.

Stealing and using someone's image for financial gain is exploitative and it's wrong. I woudn't ever want to be friends with someone who was so uninterested in respecting such important boundaries.

I agree with you. I certainly wouldn't let anyone exploit my children. I have found that there are posters on here who really hardly know what the law is, and how dangerous the world can be for their children.

It is not funny, nor acceptable. If that happened to my children they would not do it again.

Ai can put the child in different locations. Ai is fine for information on all sorts of things in life. It is so useful to be able to know the right answers right away.

We see the strikes of film actors, and singers losing their royalties to Ai, for having photos generated by artificial means, yet on this thread there are posters who cannot understand how dangerously close the OP's DC are to being exploited by online images, and not just online, on the dark web.

The DC may be subjected to that years ahead and be mocked - or worse blackmailed - by unscrupulous people exploiting in this way.

Agree with this. I'd be upset too. It's not simply the issue itself but the disrespect and her using you and your children like this, as well as, of course the loss of what you thought was a best friend which is always sad. Sending 💐

We recently had this as we chose not to have kids on pics on our social media because of all the unsafe stuff. I can across a post with one of our kids in and instantly messaged the friend saying lovely picture but please can you remove the one with our child in as we don't want them on social media thankyou..luckily it was removed within minutes of being posted and an apology given and that was that...If a friend can't respect your views of your own family then they aren't a friend

I actually think this is quite bad, especially as she did it a second time and also put your child's name. I think you are overreacting completely, but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who disregarded my wishes so badly. Twice! And even worse she's making out you're the unreasonable one.

Send her an invoice for a huge amount of money for the use of the photo, one for the first time and one for the second use. She then has two options, pay it or take them down. If she wanted to use pictures that are owned by Getty, this is exactly what she would have to do.

I often wonder about these posters

is this what you would do @Santina ?

I think you handled it in a way that was inevitably going to lead to either a row or awkwardness. You should have just said “hi Susan remember I said not to use photos of my kids! Going to take it down, thanks v much” and then be vigilant in future of her taking photos of the kids with her products or whatever it is. If she takes it just say “remember not to use that online”. It doesn’t have to be made into a massive deal, just low key and friendly.

Judging by her first post, she was devastated about the use of her child's images being used. If someone wants to grow a business, their underhand use of free images from a child without consent speaks volumes about their integrity. Having had a business where I needed images for social media purposes, I did gsin written consent from people I knew to use their child's images.

Doesn’t really answer the question though does it

I mean, I would have ended the friendship over this, and never allowed her access to photos of my child.
I don't know why you're upset that she's removing herself from the friendship, she's not your best friend if she ignores your wishes in this way.

It’s scary how many ppl don’t see the safe guarding issue. I would suggest you all google it I believe MN even has a thread about protecting children from AI online. She’s not just posted the child’s picture but details about her. Anyway OP this woman is not worth crying over and not a friend plus if you have no contact she can’t take any future photos!

Everytime dd2 gets scouted they ask me first if they can speak to her as they are professionals.

except why would you want to stay friends with someone who did this knowing you had said not to?

To be honest she does not sound like a friend. I have friends who send me photos of their kids and the only person who sees those photos other than me is my Mom. I cleared that with them and they often ask what did she think of such a photo.

I would have been the one walking away from the friendship to be honest. She certainly would not have access to my children. I would be asking another trusted friend to keep an eye on her page as I suspect she may limited what you see. I bet she is involved in a mlm. They seem to change rational people in people with no boundaries in my experience.

My guess is the floods of tears are because she is angry that yet again she has had to ask a person to stop posting pictures of her children on SM. It should only have to be said once!

As to safeguarding I don’t think what she says is an issue either, she has no idea where pictures may end up, graphically would you want your child’s picture to end up as wank fodder for some pedophile ?

Op I would really consider this friendship, she doesn’t consider you her best friend if she has now done this twice and appears miffed about it