WWYD? My best friend has posted pictures of my kids AGAIN without my consent

[Chaibaby]

Help me process this please.....
My best friend has her own business and does a lot of promotion and marketing on social media platforms.

A few months ago she used an image of my child on these (without my consent), promoting her business with the usual #hashtags, and trying to attract new customers, actively asking people to come and check out her page.
Her security settings are not private, so this goes EVERYWHERE and to EVERYONE, on multiple social media platforms.
I didn't know she was planning this, and when I saw it, immediately asked her to take it down, explaining I wasn't comfortable with it, and concerned that any Tom Dick or Harry will be looking at my child. I felt it wasn't appropriate and completely unrelated to her work. It was unashamedily self promotion. I also explained tht I didn't like the idea of her using my children and 'marketing fodder' for her to promote herself and get more likes, dangling images of a cute child to get attention doesn't sit right. She apologised, and removed the image. We moved on.

Now it has happened again, only now there are more tags (including high profile celebrities). With the purpose I assume to gain more traction out there, and increase footfall to her FB, Insta etc. She introduced my child in the post by name and shared and other details (favourite toys etc)
Again, once I saw this, I immediately asked for her to remove this.
She apologised and said she didn't mean to offend me. Again I have had to be quite graphic about the safeguarding issue here, and what can happen to these images when the wrong person gets them, the dangers of posting childrens details online.

I'm so upset this has happened again, and feel utterly horrible at having to call this out. I've been in floods of tears about it.
AIBU expecting someone to know this basic online ettiquete?
She has now cancelled a trip we had planned together later in the year, being cold add distant. I've asked to if we can talk about this, and been shut down. And I'm left feeling like the world's worst person, and looks like I've lost my best friend. Actually crying as I write this...
I've been left feeling so angry about this, bloodly social media - I feel like her ego is more important than my child's protection. But she just doens't get it.
What do I do? Any advise is greatly recieved.

Myself and DH are not on social media. Our kids are teenagers now but if we are at an event and somebody takes a picture I immediately tell them not to post it. My privacy and my children's privacy are so important to me.

Yes, but they don't wank over the kids in public.

We have a no social media rule for our son too and this would make my blood boil.
Your friend hasn't just disregarded your wishes, she has done it for self gain. She isn't worth your time. I'd pubicly post that you've asked her twice to remove photos of your child posted without consent and then ditch her.

All the comments telling you to Buck up and get a grip - do people not realize that everyone feels emotions differently? I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder due to childhood trauma and the best description they gave me was that it is like being in a house fire where 70% of your skin is burned down to the nerves leaving you constantly exposed to everything. So what might be a tiny emotional upset to somebody else can put me at risk of self harm and suicide.

Or saying OP has mental health issues, but a little human kindness goes a long way. Not everyone has the resources to deal with things as well as the majority.

She does get it but she doesn’t care. Her promotion is far more important than your wants and wishes. She’s not a friend. She’s been warned once and had the cheek to do it again. Keep your boundaries and for god sake don’t let her photograph your child anymore.

YANBU I ask permission from my daughter every single time if I can post pics of my DGSs

Cringing at the number of people on this thread probing for info about why it might be a safeguarding risk for this particular child clearly don't know that photos of kids online is a safeguarding risk in its own right and that no further context is needed.

If it is unlawful, report it to the police. Your children should be protected, and you might even lose them if you do nothing.

Does she have children ?
She is not a friend , you told her not to do it.
Let her go

YANBU. Even my MUM askes me if she can post photos of my kids online and she only has family members on her Facebook.
shes not a friend.

Whether there's safeguarding issues or not, she has absolutely no right to post photos of your child online without your consent.
There's no safeguarding issues here, but I didn't like anyone posting pics of mine when they were younger either.
Personal details as well, even if it's just favourite teddy or whatever?! Bang out of order.
Especially if you've told her and she's still done it.
As for those saying you're OTT with tears, no you're not - it can be stressful if someone is repeatedly overruling/undermining or not listening to you re your kids.
If you lose a friend, sounds like you'll be better off without her anyway.
You've done nothing wrong.

I'm sorry you are upset, but frankly I would be f**king raging.
It was completely unacceptable for this 'friend' to have used your child's photograph the first time. A SECOND time? Wow.
Your friendship is over. Well, good.
She is not a friend.
My only concern now would be to make sure that she doesn't use any more images of your little one. I would seriously consider getting advice from a solicitor, or at the very least do some serious homework into the posting of unauthorised images.

It is a safeguarding issue. Before I got to the bit where you said she was being cold and distant, my feelings were that you should cut contact so that she was no longer in a position to take photos of your child, as she us misusing them. It seems that she is saving you the bother and removing her self!

Bit more than "acting unpleasantly" if she's posting pics of a child who shouldn't be on social media for safeguarding issues!

Oh as if that's remotely the same!

Each to their own and they asked for honesty but really? The people are calling out someone who is telling you they're upset and saying they're 'over reacting' without knowing the history or length of the friendship, or any more background- it seems a lot of unkind people are floating around trying to minimise other people's feelings!

@Chaibaby

She's taken the piss massively. She's not your friend. Walk away. Stop over-reacting.

She's not your friend, how you can't see this is worrying.

Say goodbye, you set a boundary after she crossed it unwittingly the first time, now she has done it again and is treating you like the bad guy. A true friend although may not always understand reactions would respect boundaries and feelings.

Being a teacher I understand your safeguarding concerns. Most people just don't see how far some of these pictures go. Your kids your rules no matter what and using them as marketing without consent is actually unlawful. Better off without her but having lost a best friend over control issues it's not an easy thing to go through so also understand the tears. It will get easier and you'll move on xx

Hang on, she did it again, having been asked not to...
She is a self serving cow, not a best friend.
Tell her to put photos of her own kids, you asked her once, she did it again..
Now she's sulking.
She really is a manipulative bully

Stop giving her pictures of your kids, for a start. Then she can’t use them. Problem solved. Friends are overrated- get a dog instead.

I am completely with you on everything you have said, especially safeguarding- other people who have poo- pooed this clesrly have no idea what is happening out there. As someone who works in the safeguarding field with registered sex offenders these pages where children's images are accesible have been suggested as a "sweet shop", let alone details or pictures of areas of residents and schools. Never second guess yourself on this. For anyone who still has something to say- why not air on the side of caution given it is your child, and think "better safe than sorry"???

In relation to your friends reaction, I would feel the same; but this is on her- see mom uncharted via Instagram for the validation you need.

Long and short of it is that she was never a friend in the first place. The first time would have easily been a mistake but the second time tells me she couldn't care less about your children's safety! Don't cry over it op you're better off without her.