WWYD? My best friend has posted pictures of my kids AGAIN without my consent

[Chaibaby]

Help me process this please.....
My best friend has her own business and does a lot of promotion and marketing on social media platforms.

A few months ago she used an image of my child on these (without my consent), promoting her business with the usual #hashtags, and trying to attract new customers, actively asking people to come and check out her page.
Her security settings are not private, so this goes EVERYWHERE and to EVERYONE, on multiple social media platforms.
I didn't know she was planning this, and when I saw it, immediately asked her to take it down, explaining I wasn't comfortable with it, and concerned that any Tom Dick or Harry will be looking at my child. I felt it wasn't appropriate and completely unrelated to her work. It was unashamedily self promotion. I also explained tht I didn't like the idea of her using my children and 'marketing fodder' for her to promote herself and get more likes, dangling images of a cute child to get attention doesn't sit right. She apologised, and removed the image. We moved on.

Now it has happened again, only now there are more tags (including high profile celebrities). With the purpose I assume to gain more traction out there, and increase footfall to her FB, Insta etc. She introduced my child in the post by name and shared and other details (favourite toys etc)
Again, once I saw this, I immediately asked for her to remove this.
She apologised and said she didn't mean to offend me. Again I have had to be quite graphic about the safeguarding issue here, and what can happen to these images when the wrong person gets them, the dangers of posting childrens details online.

I'm so upset this has happened again, and feel utterly horrible at having to call this out. I've been in floods of tears about it.
AIBU expecting someone to know this basic online ettiquete?
She has now cancelled a trip we had planned together later in the year, being cold add distant. I've asked to if we can talk about this, and been shut down. And I'm left feeling like the world's worst person, and looks like I've lost my best friend. Actually crying as I write this...
I've been left feeling so angry about this, bloodly social media - I feel like her ego is more important than my child's protection. But she just doens't get it.
What do I do? Any advise is greatly recieved.

Everyone mocking the OP over the safeguarding issue, 11 weeks ago I had to deal with issues surrounding someone using AI to put pictures of children's heads that they had taken off someones Instagram and put them on naked bodies to masturbate over. You're incredibly fucking stupid and naive if you think allowing pictures of your children to be seen and copied by anyone is NOT a problem.

OP, you asked your friend not to do something and she did it, that in itself is upsetting but I can imagine how upset you were when it was about protecting your children. She isn't your friend

She is not your friend. She did it once, obviously understood your issues to apologised. Now she is just gas lighting you into making you feel guilty when it is her fault. I’m not surprised you are upset.

You don't need a friend like that they could be putting your child in a dangerous position.

She's no friend.
Keep her the hell away from your children.

Is she dumb? Once is a mistake, twice is a dumb person. I would be very angry too.

I don’t understand why you’ve allowed her to take the position of the injured party while you’re left upset and feeling like you’ve done something wrong. Why aren’t you furious with her? She used your child to promote her business and then, knowing full well that you didn’t want her to, she did it again, on a grander scale. She should be in tears and feeling like shit because she’s upset you, not the other way round! I don’t think she sounds like a very nice woman and she’s a shit friend.

I think you should message her and say ‘I’m quite disappointed that, having been given the chance to rescue our friendship, you have decided to cancel our trip and withdraw from me. I also think it’s fucking outrageous that you now appear to have decided that you’re the injured party because I won’t let you use my child to promote your business. I’m really hoping that it’s not that and that there is some other reason that you just haven’t told me about. If you want to sit down and have a proper conversation about this, then I’ll be there. But I need you to talk to me if we’re going to get back to where we were’.

She's an idiot OP. Clearly doesn't respect you. You've done the right thing. Regarding the trip, she's showing her true colours now. Leave her to it..

I disagree. I would feel exactly the same. Once an image is out there it can be used by anyone for any reason. It’s awful to think that your child’s image could be used like that. Plus a child CANT consent to have their image shared. It’s a violation of trust and I think her friend lacks empathy.

Can you add a reply to her advert?

"Please stop posting photos of my children online. I have previously made you aware that you do not have my permissions to do this"

Does she have a Google page for her business. If so write that she posts photos of your children online without consent.

She is no friend doing this.

I would let this be a learning moment for you. You were not wrong to ask her to remove the pictures. Understand and digest that she did so despite knowing you would not approve. She did so anyway which should show you how much she values your relationship. Your behaviour in terms of crying your eyes out is disproportionate. You need to take time to work on your resilience. This would be a much better use of your time then trying to work on this relationship.

I would honestly welcome a MN internet safety drive.

So many parents are incredibly naive about these matters.

She doesn’t care about you.

She doesn’t care about your child.

She doesn’t care about your boundaries.

She isn’t a friend, let alone a best friend.

It’s both a safeguarding issue and breech of privacy. Totally unacceptable. At the same time you must be upset by your friends rubbish behaviour and reaction.

How did she obtain the photos of your children?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Not only did she do it again, she escalated it this time by sharing OP’s child’s name and other details.

She is basically telling OP her wishes don’t matter.

Appalling.

She’s breached your trust and your child’s privacy. Not once. But twice. After being clearly asked not to. And worse the second time.

I rarely recommend this but I’d have nothing more to do with her. She can’t be trusted. Remove her from your private social feeds.

The biggest issue is she could do it again. How does she access images of your child? Are they photos she’s taken? Or ones you’ve shared, which she could’ve downloaded? You should consider consulting a solicitor to seek legal advice on prohibiting her from publishing any more personal data.

I think there has been some awful replies to you @Chaibaby and I suggest you ignore them. This is your child and how you feel is fine as it is your child. This woman is no friend. At least if you cut her out she can't get any more photos of your child.

I disagree with lots of people - to post details of the child on social media, including favourite toys IS a safeguarding issue - it is putting the child at risk of being stalked and more.
I would be appalled

She has done this, just remember that and not just once, despite you telling her not to.

I think OP is saying losing her BF is causing the tears…:

YABU for being upset. You should be angry and you should have cancelled that trip yourself.

Your "friend" is completely out of line. I don't know what people pleasing issues you have but you need to take control. What your friend did is seriously bad and should be friendship ending.

Emotional about your children, how strange….

Why on earth are you the one feeling bad and crying and upset?? She has behaved disgustingly - she should be grovelling for your forgiveness, not giving you the cold shoulder. You clearly stated your perfectly reasonable boundaries and she doesnt give a toss and has trampled all over them. She is an appallingly selfish person and deserves to be called out publicly.

I don't understand why she posted pics of your kid talking about their favourite toys to advertise her business? Why not just use your own kids or pics from events where everyone signed a waiver?
It seems odd that she disregards your feelings and continues to do it. Surely you could just post beneath the picture saying she used it erroneously and your kid doesn't endorse her products. That would ruin her reputation?
I think it's best you just part ways. She obviously thinks her online business is more important than real life friends.