WWYD? My best friend has posted pictures of my kids AGAIN without my consent

[Chaibaby]

Help me process this please.....
My best friend has her own business and does a lot of promotion and marketing on social media platforms.

A few months ago she used an image of my child on these (without my consent), promoting her business with the usual #hashtags, and trying to attract new customers, actively asking people to come and check out her page.
Her security settings are not private, so this goes EVERYWHERE and to EVERYONE, on multiple social media platforms.
I didn't know she was planning this, and when I saw it, immediately asked her to take it down, explaining I wasn't comfortable with it, and concerned that any Tom Dick or Harry will be looking at my child. I felt it wasn't appropriate and completely unrelated to her work. It was unashamedily self promotion. I also explained tht I didn't like the idea of her using my children and 'marketing fodder' for her to promote herself and get more likes, dangling images of a cute child to get attention doesn't sit right. She apologised, and removed the image. We moved on.

Now it has happened again, only now there are more tags (including high profile celebrities). With the purpose I assume to gain more traction out there, and increase footfall to her FB, Insta etc. She introduced my child in the post by name and shared and other details (favourite toys etc)
Again, once I saw this, I immediately asked for her to remove this.
She apologised and said she didn't mean to offend me. Again I have had to be quite graphic about the safeguarding issue here, and what can happen to these images when the wrong person gets them, the dangers of posting childrens details online.

I'm so upset this has happened again, and feel utterly horrible at having to call this out. I've been in floods of tears about it.
AIBU expecting someone to know this basic online ettiquete?
She has now cancelled a trip we had planned together later in the year, being cold add distant. I've asked to if we can talk about this, and been shut down. And I'm left feeling like the world's worst person, and looks like I've lost my best friend. Actually crying as I write this...
I've been left feeling so angry about this, bloodly social media - I feel like her ego is more important than my child's protection. But she just doens't get it.
What do I do? Any advise is greatly recieved.

https://saferinternet.org.uk/blog/help-someone-else-has-posted-a-photo-of-my-child-on-social-media

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/online-safety/photographing-filming-children

You can report as image and state its a child and you didn't give permission, the site itself will take it down. I don't allow my DC online at all but when I spot a photo I just report it.

Same. I never agree to photos of me or my family being published.

I rarely share photos on private social media and people on my feed are limited and highly trusted. I don’t use identifiable photos on profile pictures.

Once it’s published, it’s out there. Anyone could download or share it with anyone.

AI increases the risks still further.

https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/06/27/childrens-personal-photos-are-powering-ai-exploitation

This woman would obviously sell her own gran for a few likes on social media. You have asked her not to use pictures of your kids and she has done it a second time. If she is ghosting you I would ghost her right back. If you do make up with her I wouldn’t allow her to even take any pictures of the kids or share any with her. She needs to stop taking advantage.

This !

I'm surprised how many people don't think this is a safeguarding risk given how AI now makes it possible to make indecent images and video from any image shared online. In fact apparently over 50% of child sexual abuse material originates from images parents have posted online (cited by a french government bill on children's right for privacy). Parents should really be more aware of this and cautious of what they or others share about their children. OP I'm not surprised you are upset!

What do you do? You fuck her off, because a decent person wouldn’t have done what she did in the first place, let alone twice.

With regards to safeguarding, if it turns out the OP also posts her DC's photos online, then that's proof she's not particularly bothered about it.

Not that the OP came back to the thread.

She's using images of your young children for commercial purposes without your consent. And it's not the first time. Now she's doing it deliberately even though she knows how you feel.

Lower the fucking boom. She is not a friend doing this. She takes it down or she gets a legal letter telling her to or else.

Who took these photos she's using?

OP you might think of her as your best friend. She was once. Once upon a time she might have thought of you as her best friend. But her priorities have changed. She values her business far more than she values you. You're now just a source of advertising material.

If she's getting the photos from your Facebook (or other SM) block her. She can no longer have any access to your accounts as she can't be trusted. To not only use the photos but to add personal details is despicable.

And she's being cold and distant? Let her. Please don't go chasing her, she's not the friend you once had.

Not everyone you lose is a loss

Your tears may dry up once you realise that she is not your friend and was using you to get photos of your attractive child/children to promote her business and save her paying for professional models.

Block her on everything and stop crying over someone who doesn’t give a stuff about you or even respect you.

This is not the behaviour of a best friend OP. She's putting your kids at risk so she can promote herself. I'd not be friends with her anymore.

What’s the saying: once is a mistake, twice is choice. What type of friend totally ignores your explicit wishes for their own selfish purposes?

I’d be spitting feathers how dare she keep doing this without your permission it’s disgusting & a real insult to your friendship I wouldn’t be worried about the loss of a friend like that she quite obviously doesn’t respect you at all.

I think she’s in the wrong, not u. Once again, you have politely told her ‘no’, and she is sulking or has dropped you. Just curious… does she have children?

She's not you friend, her online presence seems to matter much more than your concerns about your children's online presence.
As a business she should be registered with ICO & complying with gdpr. I'd be telling her that if she posts again without explicit permission you will be reporting her to ICO.

Are the tears because you’re actually grieving the fact that you know really that you’ve lost what you considered to be a strong friendship, but she clearly didn’t?

For her to behave in this manner when she is quite clearly in the wrong, is giving me narc vibes. You set a boundary and she stamped all over it. She shouldn’t have even done it the first time, let alone the second. This is a loss to you as it wasn’t your choice, it it was hers. Keep your chin up and be proud you are advocating for your child. 🫂

You’re not over reacting. She’s no friend. Move on and never let her into your life again.

I think if anything your kids should be paid!
I know it was without consent but at the very least I would offer money. She would have had to pay models for the photographs wouldn't she?
I think it's actually a legal issue, not just a friendship one.
Pretty sure you can't legally use photos of someone's children for you business without permission from the parent.

It’s appropriate to set a boundary and she has broken it.

I would start to invest more time and energy into other friendships. You may not see it now, but she’s really done you a favour by cancelling and distancing herself.

Yes it’s upsetting and disappointing, but at the same time, you don’t need to be in floods of tears over it.

Yes, this, but doesn’t look like you are coming back anyway so hay ho

It is a safeguarding issue: she gave out the child's name, the child's picture and her profile has no filters so anyone could see where the friend and presumably OP are based. You don't have to be Hercule Poirot to use those details in combination with publicly available data to locate a child. She also helpfully gave out information about what the child enjoys, so that complete strangers now have a helpful list of topics to use to engage the child in conversation .
If someone did this to my DC after I had already spoken to them about it, I'd be fuming.

She has disrespected your wishes, but in all honesty there is no real danger to your child- there are millions of images online I don't think the risk can be seen as anything worrying. Clearly this is not the friendship you thought it was though- but I don't think it is driven by ego, getting traction for a business online is very difficult, and she may be desperate to make her business work- how much do you know about her finances? It's easy to judge, but I do think you are over reacting by stating it as a safeguarding issue.

What is the point of starting a thread and never returning to it? 😕