HELP! Inappropriate message from client I clean for.

[LemonLass]

Need advice on how to proceed, ladies.

Just started cleaning for a chap in his 70s in a town I lived in for 20yrs. His partner lives around 20 miles away and asked for help on his behalf. He has grown up kids and grandkids and is a professional (medical) semi retired.

I have cleaned for him twice and he goes out once I arrive.

I am due to clean tomorrow. He has just messaged to advise a plumber will be at his tomorrow. Owner will be out on his motorbike. OK, not ideal someone there but ok (I have a key).

Then I received this message. Urgh.

My instinct was block and dont engage and return key (he will be out).

Alternative to send this screenshot to the partner and say why I quit (and drop key as above).

Or go and clean as he wouldnt be there.

I am not a prude but his text was totally inappropriate. I had thought he had sent it in error but no word from him since to backtrack.

Comments and advice please ladies. Would you clean for this person under these circunstances. This extra money is £13ph self employed if that makes a difference to your comments (not a lot but very handy sideline).

How awkward!

PS i think i have successfully scrubbed anything identifiable.

From the start of the text thread.

Absolute nonsense, there was no such thing!

Oh yes, us "silly women" and our insistence on acknowledging that male-on-female sexual harassment actually exists, and is significantly more common than a heterosexual man trying to sext a male friend and somehow sending it to a female employee instead!

Also, this silly woman would like to inform you that:
your = possessive pronoun meaning 'belonging to you';
you're = contraction of 'you are'.

And:
loose = opposite of tight;
lose = opposite of find.

What a terrible, misogynistic thing to say, @Someone2025! Why is a woman ’silly’ for not wanting to be sent sexts/sexual messages? What happened to encouraging women to have high standards and strong boundaries?

Stop talking rubbish, no one suggested that she should tolerate it, she confronted him and then resigned, it’s all the silly scenarios that people are completely imagining, I very much doubt that the dentist was trying to make a move on the cleaner!…..maybe that happens in some silly porn films but in reality it just doesn’t happen

There has been no evidence whatsoever to suggest that it wasn’t sent in error

It was a message sent in error and some women completely loose their heads over it…..nonsense

There was a text thread. From the creep to the OP. That’s what this entire thread is all about. The first text was sleazy. There are screenshots and everything. Hope that makes it cleaer.

This whole thread baffles me. I honestly don’t understand why you had to sleep on it and not immediately respond back ‘Was that meant for me?”’ You would have been far more likely to get an honest reply from him because then if he said yes you had ammunition. Screenshotting to send to his partner the next day sounds petty. You didn’t need to continue working for him but a simple response to his message would have cleared it up as it appears it was more likely he accidentally sent it to you as he’d been messaging you at the same time and didn’t check the chat again.

Well none of us knows the truth other than Mr Sleaze. But many of us think he had bad intentions. You don’t. That’s up to you.

The OP has said multiple times that she doubts herself, due to previous bad experiences with gaslighting. Hence she checked on here before responding. That’s fair enough. I hope she can move on now.

Looked at the texts in the thread and there was one instance of a sleazy message which he confirmed was sent in error that’s it…..stop imagining things

That’s the one I mean. Goodness, it’s like explaining to a brick wall.

Because there was no evidence to suggest otherwise, I base my opinions on facts not imagined scenarios

He says it was in error after op said it was completely out of order. That's it. Stop making excuses for men's shit behaviour

Oh for christ sake, give me patience!!! you said he was a creep from the start which is completely inaccurate, his messages were completely normal up until the one instance of the sleazy message…..read what you wrote?!?

It was a message sent in error which wasn’t even intended for her……calm down

Why are you so sure that it was a mistake?

As I have said previously there is absolutely no evidence to suggest otherwise, his messages were completely normal/ friendly and polite up until the one instance where he sent an inappropriate text, the text obviously wasn’t meant for her, if it had been there would have been more of a build up to it, not just a completely random out of character text

The Op never said that he had been behaving in any way other than completely polite and courteous up until that point.

Someone2025 · Today 14:38
Oh don’t be ridiculous… your another one who has let their head completely run away from them, a man who had previously been very polite and considerate to the OP sent 1 sleazy message in error and so many silly women on here completely loose their heads and imagine all sorts of ridiculous scenarios ….. give me patience?!?

@Someone2025 I think you’re the one with the loose head!
No woman wants to receive such a shocking message, specially from someone she work for. Maybe it’s par for the course for you but I would find it upsetting and confusing. Never being able to know whether it was deliberate or sent in error isn’t even the point. The fact he typed it out and hit send would be enough. I’d rather starve than go back to clean his sleazy filth. Far too big a risk.
It’s dreadful, to my mind, that you accept sexual harassment as normal.

x

@Someone2025 You sound like quite a formidable woman, perhaps you haven't experienced much of the sleazy behaviour that many of us have. They usually pick on those they feel they can intimidate, that doesn't sound like you.

They're perverts, not idiots.

It’s dreadful, to my mind, that you accept sexual harassment as normal

Stop talking nonsense

Why do you think the message was not sent in error?

The balance of probability. I trust my instincts after years of predatory behaviour from men, including bosses. They always have a get out clause ready for when it backfires. They like to shock, it's part of the thrill.

Is there any evidence - other than the man’s word - to prove it was sent in error, @Someone2025?

He didn’t state it was sent in error until @LemonLass told him his message was inappropriate, and I find that suspicious. You clearly don’t. I choose to believe the woman, who has said here this made her feel very uncomfortable, and doesn’t believe it was sent in error.