No holiday this year as DP is getting a hair transplant

[HorseMadL]

My DP has been umming and ah’ing about this for a couple of years now and is finally taking the plunge.

Due to the cost, we won’t be having a holiday this year (a bit annoying but it’s something he’s set on).

Has anyone got any experience of their partner having done similar? Were you in support of it? Any tips etc which would be good to know…

and if people are happy with them, nothing wrong with bald or small boobs - or big boobs.

But if they are not, they can make the changes and not be miserable about it.

I spend a lot of money on my hair, especially after losing half of it after having covid. I really wouldn't have thought I cared so much about my hair, but apparently I do. I was heartbroken when it started falling out. I understand him. £7,500 is a lot, but I bet it will do so much for his confidence and general wellbeing. I'd support him.

Its not. I know someone who had it done during the covid era in the UK. It looked really good but it is thinning alreadty despite taking Fineristide.

I also know someone who takes the same tablet to avert hair loss. It was effective at first but the effect us waning.

I think there would very very little sympathy if a woman came onto mumsnet and said she was making her husband and kids miss out on a holiday so she could have a face-lift.

it's 💯 not fail proof 😂

I would suck up one year without a holiday if It was going to make a huge change to my DH"s mental health. Wouldn't even hesitate.

None of the male side of my family have any hair after the age of about 30. They just clipper it short. No probs with girlfriends or jobs.

i had two friends in their forties had this done in turkey - it looks great and boosted their confidence ! You could holiday their too !

You still end up having to take medication like finestaride and minoxidil which are small but costly subscriptions as its private aesthetic clinical treatment because of how the body manages DHT which is responsible for male patterned baldness and receding and thinning hair.

It isn't failproof at all regardless of how the procedure is done.

I know about this as I had substantial postpartum hairless at the same time DP could no longer cope with his thinning hair and receding hairline so we had both done a lot of looking into things.

In the end we decided that as it wasn't going to be a one off cost and there was maintenance costs that would eat into funds that could go to more selfless pursuits, he wouldn't engage with the process.

It really is a lifelong commitment.

I'm not saying this to be a naysayer, and I know people can find their changing body unbearable and feel it's a worthy endorsement but you aren't wrong to feel put out by this decision as it feels like he's not really done very much research into the management of this, or maybe he has and just doesn't care that this will eat into your monthly available funds.

Keep bald save your money and future hair cuts then holidays are back on.

OP, 'set on' is worth unpicking.

Do you mean 'insisted on against your will' or 'will make life so unpleasant if I push back that I've been forced to accept it'?

Do you mean 'I believe, or he believes, that what the man in a relationship wants is what goes'?

Because those are really important questions and if the answer is yes to either part of the last question - you don't have to live like that.

If it was a woman wanting to spend money on a body image issue and her husband was bellyaching over a holiday eh would be being called selfish. Yet if it's the woman who wants the holiday and the man is self conscious about his thinning hair, he has to suck it up?
Double standards on here all the time.

This is bullshit. See my post just above yours - it's all about how the conversation goes down.

Can you imagine a woman saying 'this is what's happening, accept it or I will make you regret it?'

What it's for is a red herring - it could be a hair transplant, it could be a holiday with the lads, it could be refusing to take on any of the mental load - the real issue is how he goes about enforcing his wishes.

Finasteride also causes decreased labido and erectile dysfunction…

That's exactly what I was thinking!!

Quite!

Can you imagine a woman saying 'this is what's happening, accept it or I will make you regret it?'

Are you saying you can't imagine that? Because I definitely can.

Would you say that to a woman? Losing hair is very distressing. It is not vain to want it back.

I guess I don’t value a week or two holiday over a years of daily happiness. So I would be ok with him getting the transplant and skipping a holiday or two. But I don’t value holidays that much and if I had the money I would do the transplant as I would love to have one myself (I am a female).

maybe take a couple of shorter sand less expensive holiday instead.

My gay best friend had one, it is brilliant and still looks great
i had implants and an uplift 10 years ago, my boobs were horrendous and I will never think they weren’t money well spent. The surgery was life changing
Couldn’t get worked up about missing one holiday for something that made someone I love happy

You're not just looking at one procedure though.

Only hair from the donor areas are DHT resistant and so even with medication you can experience hairloss from hair around the donor areas, creating little hair islands.

Not all donor hair takes.

You could be looking at multiple procedures at 7.5k each, that could be 2, 3, 4 procedures, and there are other factors such as how advanced the hair loss is, age etc.

The side effects from the medication can be very intense as others have mentioned. It can create this loop of anxiety where you do not want to stop because of sunk cost fallacy, whilst still suffering the side effects like reduced libido, erectile dysfunction, low mood etc. because the money has already been spent and it isn't coming back.

Your DH won't get impartial advice or counselling through these services as they have a bias, but before committing to spending so much money he should speak to someone to determine whether he is happy with the commitment or whether he just likes the idea of getting a procedure done because he thinks it will make him feel better and also whether continual treatments are within your budget.

Wow really appalled at some of the comments in here to be honest!

would you all react the same way if it was a woman getting her breast done, tummy tuck, mummy makeover, liposuction, facelift or whatever else?

Hair for men is rather important just as much as it is for women and it can make a massive difference to their self esteem and confidence.

If I lost my hair I'd be distraught,I was very ill last year and lost about a third of mine and that was bad enough. Thank God it's grown in again.

Vain and shallow isn't very lovable, or fanciable.

If you were depressed because your hair was noticeably thinning, would you feel lovable or fanciable?

Why can he not embrace baldness? It can be quite sexy, many women like a testosterone head.

The only person I know who had a hair transplant, years ago, had all the hair fall out in no time.

What a waste of money.