Page 4 | No holiday this year as DP is getting a hair transplant

blubbyblub · 14/05/2025 19:14

ArtTheClown · 14/05/2025 18:34

DH is receding with a shaved head and honestly I'd find the lack of confidence and vanity off-putting if he suddenly wanted a hair transplant.

Do you feel the same about women who cover their greys by getting it coloured every month?

Sleepthief · 14/05/2025 19:14

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 14/05/2025 19:10

The thing is it's a vanity thing. Would he forfeit a much needed holiday if you wanted a boob job for example?

Would you dismiss, say, removal of a large facial birthmark as vanity? I wouldn’t. A holiday isn’t as important as mental health IMO.

blubbyblub · 14/05/2025 19:15

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 14/05/2025 19:10

The thing is it's a vanity thing. Would he forfeit a much needed holiday if you wanted a boob job for example?

If the boobs were perhaps crippling her self confidence then I would think a partner should support them

TasWair · 14/05/2025 19:15

It's really not foolproof OP. The hair does tend to "take" and grow, but it often looks patchy and quite sparse, with a definite line. It very often looks like pubic hair! I know someone who had three procedures- two to correct the first one- and it still looks markedly different to the rest of his hair.

It's sad, because I do understand why men would want this done. If I lost my hair, I'd want it done! But I'd really think twice about the op because I have only seen it done well on celebs who have spent tens of thousands on it.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 14/05/2025 19:16

OurManyEnds · 14/05/2025 19:11

Well that’s a shitty way to treat the person you’re supposed to love more than anyone else on the planet.

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Is it though? Aside from the laughing of course, why should one person's wants in relation to vanity, be more important than the others need for quality family time away from the daily stresses? Let's see how the op's partner would be if it was a boob job instead? Added in potential jealousy as to how the op might be perceived sexually and they probably would not be as understanding at all.

Shudacudawuda · 14/05/2025 19:17

My BIL had this done. The process is quite rough but it took well and I have to say, he does look loads better, it's taken 10 years off him.
Some men can carry off the bald look brilliantly, but it just doesn't suit everyone and it must be quite distressing to see yourself ageing prematurely like that.
I hope it goes well for him.

Amba1998 · 14/05/2025 19:18

Gymmum82 · 14/05/2025 18:23

Not true. An acquaintance has had it done. It failed. He had hair for a short while but ultimately it all fell out. His hair round the back and sides is very long and thick too. But he’s completely bald on top again. Spent an absolute fortune on it.

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I know two people and it failed about 2/3 years later

SnowFrogJelly · 14/05/2025 19:19

LTB

OurManyEnds · 14/05/2025 19:20

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 14/05/2025 19:16

Is it though? Aside from the laughing of course, why should one person's wants in relation to vanity, be more important than the others need for quality family time away from the daily stresses? Let's see how the op's partner would be if it was a boob job instead? Added in potential jealousy as to how the op might be perceived sexually and they probably would not be as understanding at all.

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Who cares what would happen the mythical other way round? That would also be a shite way to treat someone 🤷‍♀️

Rewis · 14/05/2025 19:23

I'm about to waste my holiday money on a lasik surgery this week. I can live with being vain and selfish and not have a proper holiday this summer. I mean my partner can go on his own, but it is not in my budget. This is just more important to me.

MrsSunshine2b · 14/05/2025 19:23

UndermyShoeJoe · 14/05/2025 19:12

I mean some women just don’t.

There are quite a few of us who don’t do fake nails and lashes, no Botox and not mountains of make up or products. In fact dh gets his hair cut every 4 weeks on the dot I most certainly don’t because it doesn’t need it. He also spends more on aftershave than I do perfume because he seems to need 50
million squirts each time 😅

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A woman who gets fake nails and lashes, botox and lip fillers, fake tans, hair extensions etc., is probably looking at more like £7.5k a year, not over a lifetime!

I'm in my 30s and have been buying clothes, make-up, cleansers/ toners/ moisturisers, nail varnish, the odd hat or pair of sunglasses etc., for 20 years. To make that up to £7,500 I'd only have had to spend £375 a year. I only get my hair cut about once every 6 months and that's already £100 gone. I only go for supermarket brands and Avon stuff but it's still easily £100 over a year, just on the odd eye-liner, replacing foundation when it runs out, make-up remover and basic skin care. So that's £175 left for everything else, or £15 a month. I spent that on a dress from Costco last week, which I thought was very cheap.

And how much does the average women spend that on a wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, hair and make-up for herself and all the bridesmaids, just to look and feel beautiful on one day?

WinterWoodland · 14/05/2025 19:23

I advise you to look up “post finasteride syndrome”

Shizzlestix · 14/05/2025 19:24

No experience of this but I had a bypass 2 years ago, so I empathise with his decision. For us, it didn’t affect a holiday, tho, because we tend to holiday in the UK for weekends only due to having dogs. I’d hope I’d be sympathetic if my Dh wanted this. Mine was just very worried about my operation.

I’m not sure it’s right to call it ‘vanity’ when it’s probably really badly affecting his self esteem. A lot of people lose their hair post bypass but it tends to (eventually) re-grow and most posters I’ve seen are women and there are multiple recommendations for wigs, which seems to be more acceptable for women. I think men using wigs is possibly still seen as a joke in our society.

CatherinedeBourgh · 14/05/2025 19:24

DH is completely bald, and has been since his 30s. It looks great on him.

If I'd known 20 years ago what I know now, I'd have marched him to get the transplants done. The amount of sun exposure he has had, despite being fairly good about using sunblock (which is a pita to do all the time) means he has to go to a dermatologist every 6 months to get various growths which could lead to cancer removed. It is unpleasant for him, as well as expensive.

Hair on the head is very protective. I have told the dc that if they go bald I will pay for them to have the transplants, I don't want them to go through what dh has to when they are older.

Sleepthief · 14/05/2025 19:24

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 14/05/2025 19:16

Is it though? Aside from the laughing of course, why should one person's wants in relation to vanity, be more important than the others need for quality family time away from the daily stresses? Let's see how the op's partner would be if it was a boob job instead? Added in potential jealousy as to how the op might be perceived sexually and they probably would not be as understanding at all.

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What about capping a broken tooth? Or more like getting implants if you have to have your teeth removed for some reason? Is that ‘vanity’?

I think it’s really shitty that we expect men to just suck it up and shave their heads without considering the impact it can have on their confidence and sense of self.

The person I know who had a transplant done starting losing his hair unusually young and it absolutely crippled him! He lost all his confidence, didn’t want to go to university, avoided relationships and put his life on hold in so many ways. the joy absolutely went out of him and it was horrible to see. The transplant has literally transformed his life!

MrsSunshine2b · 14/05/2025 19:26

OurManyEnds · 14/05/2025 19:20

Who cares what would happen the mythical other way round? That would also be a shite way to treat someone 🤷‍♀️

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Nope, my husband thinks I'm beautiful as I am but if I said that I felt really down and wanted a boob lift (they're definitely not as perky as they were pre-pregnancy and 3 years of breastfeeding) he'd support me, because he wants me to be happy. And part of feeling happy is feeling confident and positive about yourself and how you look.

KimberleyClark · 14/05/2025 19:26

WallaceinAnderland · 14/05/2025 18:27

A holiday will last a couple of weeks. His new hair will last a couple of years. Which is better value do you think?

But a hair transplant does not generate good memories. Memories are priceless.

ACynicalDad · 14/05/2025 19:26

If anyone asks me if I want it I joke about having met my wife when I had a full set of hair and never planning on dating again so it doesn't bother me. It doesn't really and no way I'm spending thousands on it ahead of a new bathroom.

Powderblue1 · 14/05/2025 19:27

If this was something he really struggled with and wanted doing to boost his confidence then I would happily forgo a holiday to support.

secretllama · 14/05/2025 19:28

MrsSunshine2b · 14/05/2025 19:01

I think the comments are very harsh.

It's one year without a holiday abroad, and you can still do lots of fun things at home especially if the weather holds out.

If it's going to boost his confidence and make him feel good about himself I think it's worth it.

If it was in reverse and a man told a woman she couldn't spend money on hair, make-up or nice clothes people would be up in arms. Over the years, I'm sure I've spent more than £7.5k on things that make me look and feel nice and I'm not even very high maintenance.

I hope it goes well for your DH OP.

This is exactly how I feel reading this comments. If it was the other way around, the man would be called selfish for moaning about missing one holiday to help with your self esteem.

JMSA · 14/05/2025 19:28

I would expect a partner to support me on this. Give and take.
Is he an excellent partner normally?

GeorgianaM · 14/05/2025 19:29

Is think he was having a midlife crisis and after the vanity procedure of having a hair transplant, he will be strutting around like a peacock looking for female attention.

It would be a massive turn off for me.

UndermyShoeJoe · 14/05/2025 19:30

MrsSunshine2b · 14/05/2025 19:23

A woman who gets fake nails and lashes, botox and lip fillers, fake tans, hair extensions etc., is probably looking at more like £7.5k a year, not over a lifetime!

I'm in my 30s and have been buying clothes, make-up, cleansers/ toners/ moisturisers, nail varnish, the odd hat or pair of sunglasses etc., for 20 years. To make that up to £7,500 I'd only have had to spend £375 a year. I only get my hair cut about once every 6 months and that's already £100 gone. I only go for supermarket brands and Avon stuff but it's still easily £100 over a year, just on the odd eye-liner, replacing foundation when it runs out, make-up remover and basic skin care. So that's £175 left for everything else, or £15 a month. I spent that on a dress from Costco last week, which I thought was very cheap.

And how much does the average women spend that on a wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, hair and make-up for herself and all the bridesmaids, just to look and feel beautiful on one day?

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Surely his also getting hair cuts and possibly beard products, sun glasses and new clothes?

Maybe we are odd but I think we are either pretty equal or he possibly spends more. His barber is £25 a pop every 4. I go every six ish months and my hair dresser is £30 for a general cut and style.

Id count a wedding as a joint event but fair point.

Snapncrackle · 14/05/2025 19:31

SnowFrogJelly · 14/05/2025 19:19

LTB

Is that leave the baldness or bastard

browneyes77 · 14/05/2025 19:32

HorseMadL · 14/05/2025 18:15

My DP has been umming and ah’ing about this for a couple of years now and is finally taking the plunge.

Due to the cost, we won’t be having a holiday this year (a bit annoying but it’s something he’s set on).

Has anyone got any experience of their partner having done similar? Were you in support of it? Any tips etc which would be good to know…

Yes my DP had one done a couple of years ago.

He had it done in London, so I travelled down with him as he was unable to drive back himself due to having to apply stuff to his scalp regularly after the procedure.

He had to have a neck cushion to sleep on for a few nights after the procedure so his scalp wasn’t lying flat on a pillow. And there were treatments he had to spray on regularly. So there is a bit of aftercare involved initially.

I personally didn’t think he needed it, but he felt he did and so if it made him feel more comfortable then I felt it was only right to support him with it.

Fortunately we don’t share finances, so it didn’t impact me. And he earns well and was easily able to pay for it.

He contemplated going to Turkey at one point, but I reminded him if there were any issues, he gave to fly out back out there to get it sorted. He agreed he’d feel more comfortable with a UK specialist doing it.

He did lots of research into clinics first and the consultants at those clinics. So I’d 100% recommend doing his research first.

I have to say 2 years on and his hairline does look great. And he’s really happy with the result.