Is 2 months of dating too soon for the exclusivity chat?

[confused2233]

I have been dating this guy for just under 2 months now. We’ve seen each other about 7/8 times so on average once a week. We’ve slept together a lot and I think I am starting to get some feelings.

I think I want to ask him now if he’s dating other people. Even though he seems really into me, I just have a feeling he is still using hinge as I’ve seen it pop up on his recent apps on his phone.

I don’t know how to approach this though and whether it’s too soon, and also what to do if he says yes.

What did your son say? Was his mind blown at how things used to work?

Yes a bit 😂 He said he couldn’t call her his gf until he’d had the ‘chat’, even though they were mad about each other and didn’t want either to date anyone else. They’re still quite young (early 20s), met in real life not online, but it couldn’t be official until the chat. I got a text a few days later to say they’d had the chat and all was good. Ah young love.

The reason modern dating is hard is because women’s desperation to be “picked” and for a man hands total control/power over to the men. It would have been inconceivable pre internet dating that someone would be dating /sleeping with a guy and for it not to be assumed it was exclusive.. if they were seeing others an automatic dumping offence. Now women are too scared to even bring it up .. why ?

Sadly, this is true

OP, are you still with us?? I hope we’ve given you food for thought!

Would be way overdue for me too,

I don't want to sleep with someone who is also sleeping with someone else.

We all are

@Springtime43 haha yes I am, just about 😂

eeek I am nervous about having the chat, but it’s definitely due. I’ll update this thread afterwards 😬

Saw him yesterday. I asked, he said he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t sure whether he wants to commit to exclusivity…. really not the answer I was hoping for, or expecting to be honest 😔

Knew it. Men are loving this new "modern" dating.

Do read Women Who Love Too Much, @confused2233 - I promise it’ll help you put strategies in place to help you and stop you from being messed about with by men like this.

I would finish it tbh, he is enjoying shagging you while waiting to see if someone better comes along. So gross, you deserve to be treated with more respect.

Sorry, OP. I'd ditch him. I don't care if it's the 'modern thing' or not. You're not a try until you buy doll. Gross.

I've always considered it extremely poor form not to be exclusive from when you first get together in any sort of more-than-friends way.
The whole having to have a talk about exclusivity is a nasty American import - if I'm seeing someone and they see someone else, they've cheated and they can fuck off.

Saw him yesterday. I asked, he said he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t sure whether he wants to commit to exclusivity…. really not the answer I was hoping for, or expecting to be honest 😔

You're worth more than this. Please end it and find a guy that actually wants a real relationship with you.

Ah sorry. If you're dating with a view to a relationship I'd move on. He hasn't made any promises so it's been fair game but I wouldn't waste any more time. If he was keen he'd give things a chance with just you.

Absolutely agree with @ArtTheClown. Can't believe that people think it's ok to see more than one person when they're sleeping with someone. My generation called it two-timing and would ditch the person doing it. Please get rid, you're worth more than this.

Ditch him

I was borin in the late 70s so don't think of myself as 'old' yet but can scarcely wrap my head around this modern phenomenon.

I'd dump from a great height.

Well done for biting the bullet.
There's not a wrong and right you just both want different things. So sounds like you need to say that doesn't really work for you and move on.

You are worth someone who wants to explore things with only you.

Yep i said exactly the same thing. Funny how we havent imported the way they deal with Child Support isnt it

So he wants his cake and to eat it too. I’m sorry OP. Better you know though.

Ewww. I'd be waving 👋 bye bye to this one.

He isn’t serious about you and seeing you as his future girlfriend if that is what he said. He is happy to keep dating you and shag you while having eye open for someone else to appear. I hope you dumbed him as he isn’t in it to build a relationship with you.

OP - you (and all women!) are worth so much more than this. The right person for you will not mess you around and will like you for who you are. You do not need to sleep with anyone ever unless you actually want to and this guy is messing you around big time. The older you get, the more you realise how important it is to love yourself and not waste your time with anyone (boyfriend/friend/family) who does not really care for you or treat you well.

Christ. If you are sleeping together you should be exclusive anyway...