Am I misreading tone?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Therapist of a year that I visit regularly asks for deposits pre appt. Very normal. I rarely mess with anyone’s money so I send it.

My bank is frozen out due to 3 fraudulent transactions so I can’t pay anyone. I booked my slot she said “please pay deposit via the link” i said “sorry Sandra my bank is frozen at the moment. Please could you remind me again in a couple of days and I will transfer you the money straight away.” Her response was “Hope nothing serious x

Would you mind setting a reminder for yourself please and message me once done so that I can confirm receipt 😊💜
Thank you”

I just read that as unnecessarily difficult. I run a business tutoring and I’ll remind clients. It’s no issue. I just think it was really standoffish for no reason. It upsets me because I’m a regular client and appreciate the therapy get.

What @JohnMajorsChicken said

And for the future, consider setting up standing orders for regular payments, if you really cannot train yourself to set up reminders.

I totally get it. My therapist was making me feel increasingly uneasy and I genuinely think she was unprofessional and projecting her own issues onto me. I had given up work as I had adopted two children with a lot of additional needs and she so clearly disapproved of this. And she would make unhelpful comments about how come my husband wasn't picking the kids up from school (he had a full time job and I didnt). She was getting increasingly passive aggressive with me. It was my mother all over again!!

So....you do mess with peoples money?

You are still BU over the reminder, you are an adult and can set your own reminders and don't need to be enabled by other people. She did the right thing by making you take responsibility for your own actions. My daughter has ADHD, ASD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, and has learnt that she needs to set reminders for everything, or write daily lists , so that she doesn't forget anything. She is 17. ADHD or not, she knows that she is responsible for her life and her actions.

However, you clearly don't like her and say you don't feel it is a safe space, so you do need to find another therapist.

I feel like personal organisation is almost a red herring here. The thing you seem to be really struggling with is your perception of your therapist's tone. I'm wondering if you can consider (given the overwhelming consensus on here) that you are misreading her tone. You might already know that adhders are prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria, and this very much includes perceiving criticism or ill-will where none is intended.

Trust me when I say that it's in your own best interest to challenge yourself a bit on this... The world is possibly a kinder and less critical place than you perceive it to be! Wouldn't that be a liberating shift in outlook?

Of course, the irony is that your conviction that your therapist is being horrible has actually generated criticism on here... In a weird way RSD can become a self fulfilling prophecy!