Am I misreading tone?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Therapist of a year that I visit regularly asks for deposits pre appt. Very normal. I rarely mess with anyone’s money so I send it.

My bank is frozen out due to 3 fraudulent transactions so I can’t pay anyone. I booked my slot she said “please pay deposit via the link” i said “sorry Sandra my bank is frozen at the moment. Please could you remind me again in a couple of days and I will transfer you the money straight away.” Her response was “Hope nothing serious x

Would you mind setting a reminder for yourself please and message me once done so that I can confirm receipt 😊💜
Thank you”

I just read that as unnecessarily difficult. I run a business tutoring and I’ll remind clients. It’s no issue. I just think it was really standoffish for no reason. It upsets me because I’m a regular client and appreciate the therapy get.

Weird thing to say.

If You don’t care why post?

Indeed! In AIBU of all places

She’s a therapist so she is practised in setting boundaries. You’ve causally asked her to remind you again in a few days and she’s politely set the boundary that it is for you to remember to pay her, not for her to remind you to do so. i quite like her response, it’s softened by the fact that she says she hopes it’s nothing serious and also the fact that she isn’t insisting you pay upfront, she’s taking your word for it that you’ll pay in due course so it’s not distrustful or anything.

Why did you create this thread? Genuinely?

OP cares enough to keep checking back.

Healthy boundaries are not something to be upset about. Listen and learn from what your therapist and pretty much everyone on here is telling you.

And she can remember to check back, unlike the issue she has remembering she owes money.

Amazing!

Good idea! Don’t forget.

Good idea! Don’t forget.

Her tone is fine. Yours is definitely not.

This is the strangest thread… Very strange behaviour. I can see why OP needs a therapist.

😂 oh dear!

You’re trying to make your banking problems her problem by asking her to remind you. Put an alarm or calendar reminder in your phone.

OP: AIBU?
MN: yes
OP: why would I care what you think?
MN: you literally asked

Dear @ThePerkyCoralPoet therapist.

Please please post a thread about the craziness of life as a therapist, anonymous of course but with just enough info so that we all know!

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any more 🦇💩

But you asked? I'm confused...

I'm starting to feel very sorry for your therapist - I hope you pay her well!

😂We don't even know if the therapist has her deposit yet!

She’s demonstrating and modelling boundaries. It’s not for her to chase you.

Nope, she’s doing what a good therapist should- empowering you to do what you need to do, rather than enabling you to lean on her & expect her to do extra work. And she said it politely

This thread is a marvellous advertisement for therapy.

What do you mean "I rarely mess with anyone's money so I send it"
Does that mean you sometimes do mess with other people's money?

And why the need to go into a full on explanation at all about whether its normal and why you do it? Most people wouldn't even register this as a thing that needs saying- if they use a service that requires a deposit obviously you send it or you don't get the service. The way you've overexplained such a standard thing is weird.

get yourself another bank account so this doesn't happen again. Im always amazed when adults in 2025 say they only have one bank account. As well as your vank locking you out, what if you lose your bank card or someone steals your card or manages to get into your account and empties it, or there's a cyber attack on your bank or their systems go down or whatever. It takes 3 minutes to open up something like a chase/starling/monzo account and stick 50 quid in it as a backup.

She’s been paid. Thank you. Goodnight

I read the first line and gave up😴