To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

I think the school are being unreasonable to not find an activity that all their year 6 children can take part in.

could you take your dd out on Friday and do something fun together?

It's very unfair that institutions (for want of a better word) can't see further than the homogeneous mass. A little bit more effort wouldn't go amiss.

I'm really sorry for your daughter..

This is an excellent idea - do a wonderful alternative. Very thoughtless of the school 😡

We will of course we will but it’s her last trip with her peers she could of attended.

I would be booking an amazing day just the two of you on Friday with a big treat just for her

I'd then try and arrange a little get together with some of her friends for next weekend so she also gets to celebrate with friends

And I'd be telling school the reason why she is not going to be in on Friday...seems unfortunate and sad that they did not consider the needs of one of their pupils for a fun activity and pick a different activity that all could join in if they wished

That's really rubbish.

I agree with previous poster, take her out for the day yourself if you can. School should have considered her difficulties, and it's definitely not fair for her to miss out, when she already has so much to contend with.

That was really thoughtless of them and really not very inclusive. I would complain about this, It’s a reward so it’s not like it’s part of their learning. A reward should include everyone.

Your poor DD! Absolutely awful of the school, mind you I wouldn’t even want a perfectly healthy child doing water sports in the Thames.. far too many of DD’s rowing friends have picked up e-coli & leptospirosis just from the splashes of river water. Their risk assessment mustn’t have been too thorough..

Surely this is discrimination? She should have been able to go along with her year group, and although you can have a great day out with her she should have been considered, there’s plenty of other activities they could have chosen.

Yeh I tried to convince the hospital but didn’t get as far as the river Thames 🤣🤣🤣 the reply was do you watch the news !

When you asked the school what your DD would be doing during the activity, what did they say?

Sorry, what does this mean? I could of maybe swang it with the hospital

If there has been a pre risk assessment which should of been done well in advance I may have been able to get the designated swim wear rented that would of allowed to her participate.

They said she could still attend it’s in 2 groups

whilst one group is doing the activity the other group is playing like you know those chess games etc she could do that with both groups or watch her group kayak.

I’d be complaining about this. How unfair to your daughter. I’m sure it probably was an oversight, but they still need to be made aware of how cruel they’ve been to your child. You seem very level headed, so I’d go in and talk to the head of year in person and explain your issue with their decision. Chances are that they’ll be mortified at being so thoughtless, but it may well be too late to change the plans. Maybe they could offer an alternative though, that many kids would prefer to switch to?

Poor show from this school. The whole thing is extremely unfair.

Also them what reward they have planned to acknowledge all dd's hard work this year....

I have lost my cool them recently and it’s a real shame. In the early days they were great with her but it started to derail recently. I did speak to one of her teachers who is great and she totally was trying to rectify the issue but I also know it would not have been her. I just hated having to tell her she was so excited 🙈

This is really sad. There’s loads of things they could have done instead. I am sorry for your daughter and I hope she doesn’t take it too hard. 🌺

How mean would that be though her having to watch :( gosh they sound thoughtless

totally of point but it just adds salt to the wound.
I didn’t think she was up to doing her SATS she had required 2 infusions the week leading in to them and things have been tough. The main teacher emailed me to explain that it would be a shame for her not to do them along side her peers … I’m fairly certain she wasn’t that bothered by the SATS 🤣🤣 but the same didn’t go for them organising this !

If you know which centre it is - give them a call and ask if they can think of anything that might get your daughter closer to feeling more actively involved.

I’m a water sports instructor and have cooked up solutions for getting almost every complicated restrictions child out on the water. Wouldny usually have a power boat or rowing gig out with a kayaking group but it may well be possible to do. By the very nature of the characters of people that go onto instructing they often like solving a challenge.

There are plenty of places and things they could have done that would be accessible to your daughter. The school are being thoughtless and completely unreasonable.
I'm sorry for your DD and I can't believe that no one at the school thought about the impact this would have on her.

I do not see the appeal of putting even a toe in the sewage of the Thames. I think it’s a bit of a lucky escape. I am surprised you’d even consider risking sepsis and her life to go if you’d had more time to get special swim wear.

My DD is also disabled and when there were things she could not do, I made sure that she had the day off school at home and we invited her friends on a separate activity she could do to celebrate 🥳

I felt it was better to than fixating on what she has missed out on.

Can you arrange a little celebratory get together with her friends OP? They have been thoughtless 😢

What a wonderful idea, wouldn’t it be great if she could do something like being in a boat as you say.

I really hope you can get something sorted OP. Very sad and unfair for your daughter.