To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

Aw, your poor daughter. And poor you. How dare they do this to you.

I'm usually on the side of teachers and schools, but if they'd done this to my child, I would have hit the roof.

Complain. Complain to the head, to the governors and to the local authority. Go to the local paper. This is out and out discrimination.

It may be too late for them to arrange something more inclusive but that's their problem. Why should you have to sort out their mess? They've known your daughter for years, they know her limitations and it should have been obvious that they needed to pick an activity that all children could participate in. All of the staff involved in planning this should have known that this would exclude your daughter - it's pathetic that not one of them said anything.

You should complain. I would never (and never have been allowed) to book a trip for my class which secludes a child, especially if they have a medical need. I'm surprised it was agreed to tbh and the school need to learn a big lesson.

There are a million activities school could choose to do that would be just as fun and beneficial for all that include your daughter, it’s really sad that they haven’t made an exception this one time! Many a time I have made sure to pick a school trip that is inclusive for all x

Yeah I did think that but thought it was worth asking in case you’d hadn’t thought of it. That’s such a shame for your daughter. The school have been very thoughtless here and I would definitely bring that to their attention. I completely understand your upset over this. It’s so hard to watch our children suffer like this. Could you arrange your own day out with her with her friends from school maybe at the weekend or in the coming weeks something really special for them. If my daughter had a friend in your daughter situation I would go out of my way to help her have a special day with her friends.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you and your dd, it’s totally unfair. I would also be raising hell about this, seriously I would complain formally to the school and the governors and point out how discriminatory this is. Just awful to leave one child out who already has a difficult time. I’m upset on your behalf. I really wouldn’t let this drop, it won’t change what’s happening on Friday but I couldn’t just let them get away with it and not force them to see how awful this decision was.

Until last year, I had a year 6 class. The school should know better. There are so many fun things your dd could join in with and I'm very sorry her school are being so uninclusive.

There's a reason many of us leave teaching and it's not the pay!

I know a few years ago Thames water was regarded as dangerous because of diseases in it from rat wee. Rowers were warned not to get wet.

It is surprising they've picked this activity with the problems with water lately.

I agree. I felt tearful just reading this OP ! Such a thoughtless thing to do, your dd has enough challenges with her health issue, the school should be much more considerate than this.

This is truly thoughtless. I assume you live near London if going in the Thames. There's a load of different accessible activities there, why have they chosen this one?

I'd kick up merry hell too. Wrote to the chair of governors and HT this evening.

That is disgusting. I am so sorry, OP.

I'd have to say something I think. Your daughter has almost certainly worked harder than every other child in her cohort to simply be present to take those tests. Two infections? And she still did it? They should be doing everything they can to acknowledge and praise her superhuman effort, not excluding her from the celebration. I would definitely be letting them know my feelings. It would have been so, so easy for them to organise something that ALL the children could participate in. They aren't seeing the children as individuals.

You are being very calm op@

If i were innyour position I would be sending a very measured, factual email of complaint making it clear this is discriminatory on grounds of your dd's known medical needs and it will be brought to the attention of the relevant bodies. I've been involved previously in arranging events and eben if it limited our optikns we ensured a full cohort could attend and that there were no barriers : physical, emotional, financial etc. The school should have done this.

We used to do an awayday with work of kayaking down the Thames. We had a couple of people who had mobility issues, and we arranged for them (and anyone else who preferred it) to go on a small boat that went alongside the kayakers. It worked really well.

What a massive bloody shame for your poor DD.

But do look at the suggestion of asking the activity centre why they could do for your DD. A lot of the fun will be the journey there, lunch and games, so with any luck she’ll be able to participate in the majority of activities.

That's rubbish and I'd be upset too.
Especially if with more notice you might have been able to source the special equipment.
I know they have a lot to think about but it is sad no one thought whether she would be able participate.

I am a teacher and would 100% thought of this in advance and planned an suitable alternative that everyone could participate in. Very poor show.

I'm so sorry, I'd be furious.

My son has a central line too (he also has a history of line infections and is on his 3rd hickman line (with 2 picc lines between!) and he also can't go on his residential so we're taking him out of school and on holiday because he most definitely isn't sitting in another class whilst all of his friends are outside of school having fun.

He's in Year 4 and has literally only been at school for a few weeks this school year due to medical reasons. He's missed out on so much, it really isn't fair on DC's like ours.

Yabu, to be tearful and not furious. It's disability discrimination.

You are right. But could have.

There must be non swimmers who also might not be able to do the rafting?

This is awful OP, so sorry for your DD. School want her to be there for SATS, and are happy to push for that, but not put equal effort into ensuring she is able to participate in the year group celebration at the end of said SATS. Totally unfair and discriminatory.

I would second PPs saying to contact activity centre - I bet they can come up with a solution that will mean your DD is included and enjoys the day.

I’d feel the same as you and the school are in the wrong. They should find an activity which all the children can take part in, I’d be raising this with them for certain. I hope your DD is ok.

I am shocked a school is so shit that they didn’t think this through.
thank goodness she’s leaving in a few weeks!
you should speak to the head now about any end of year/term activities they’re planning to make sure she is included

You may have a case for discrimination under the equality act.

https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/disability-discrimination-in-education/