To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

This is really crap on the schools part. Y6 leavers events are a big deal and they’ve chosen a very specific activity that excludes a student. There are so many alternatives that they could have gone for I’m sure the kids would have all enjoyed.

I truly understand why you are upset for your daughter

Is it too late to keep her home from SATs? I don't think the school should get their way with her sitting SATs but then mess up this badly for the fun stuff.

I'd ask them to explain to her, in your presence, why they booked an activity that they knew she wouldn't be able to participate in, how they think their choice has made her feel and how sorry they are for their behaviour.

I am very tempted but then it would have been a waste of time and effort today - so will likely stick it out now

That's do sad, your poor DD. I think school have been very unfair. There are plenty of fun activities they could have chosen which all children could join in with. I can't understand why they would choose something she can't join in with. I'd be making a complaint if I was you. Maybe it will get changed, although I'm not sure with such short notice, but if it doesn't a complaint may at least prevent them doing this with another child.

That absolutely sucks. I’m so sorry for you and your little one.

You’ll have faced so many challenges to get to this point - and I know you will make the best of this situation. But yes it’s thoughtless and frustrating and makes a kid who has had to overcome so much have to get over another thing.

Our daughter has a PICC line so I have a small inkling of the frustrations and risk.

I think that is very poor of the school. Very poor.

I would raise it with the governors.

This is awful. I'm a teacher and over the years have taught many children with all kinds of different needs and medical conditions. I would never dream of booking a trip anywhere that wasn't inclusive for all! I'm shocked that it's been allowed.

That is horrible of the school. There are so many options of fun things to do with a bunch of 10/11 year olds. It wouldn't have taken much effort to choose something that the whole class could participate in.

I'm not surprised you're upset OP, could you and your daughter do something lovely at the weekend to celebrate her hard work?

I am a teacher. We would never do this! Her teacher should be ashamed of themselves. I would ask for a meeting regarding the discrimination around your daughter. They’re purposefully preventing your daughter from celebrating with her peers. Probably on what is going to be one of the last times. Vile behaviour. I hope she’s okay. 💐

Bless her. I am so sorry.
Take her somewhere really, really special and do something amazing and memorable with her.

I would put a complaint in writing to the school, governors and the county council. Does your daughter have an EHCP?

There are 101 alternative things they could have done! Hope she gets to have a great day one way or another OP.

Fuck them! This is so shit and i am angry on your behalf too. I hope you can find something awesome to do together

This is utterly discriminatory and you need to complain. I can imagine you have spent her whole life fighting her corner and it sucks that the school have out you in this position yet again. Sucks.

That's rubbish and mean and thoughtless.
Sorry your DD has been left out.
I hope you can do something really special together instead.
I wouldn't want to go in the Thames anyway yes we watch the news. 💐

I wasn’t able to attend an end of year trip to a theme park due to a medical condition that meant fairly major surgery, my dad booked the day off a took me to the sea side for the day instead.
I would do something special together instead can still remember the day with my dad now 20 + years later

Our school have swapped the inflatable obstacle course for climbing because some kids can't swim 25m so it can surely be done.

If it is an activity centre are there not some choices she could do? Ours got to choose two or three out of about six options.

I definitely think you should raise it. She deserves to be able to join in at least some of the day.

That’s rubbish of the school. Why pick kayaking when it excludes your daughter? There are so many other options. Sorry that this has happened.

I presume the issue is around the Hickman line getting wet? Could you speak to her consultant team and ask if it would be possible for her to cover the line with a stoma bag/urostomy bag/ wound manager for the activity? They are totally water proof and should provide a complete seal arround the line? Possible with waterproof clothes on top to provide extra precaution. Could you attend with her to apply and reapply if necessary. It may be a no but I think it’s worth asking. I’m an ICU nurse so familiar with these issues and sometimes have to do a bit of DIY and blue peter in the store cupboard to come up with solutions to cover lines/ drains etc.

I'm a teacher and furious on your (and your poor dd's) behalf.
If she wants to go on the trip in order just to be there with her mates, then I would let her but perhaps organise something extra-special for her to do at the weekend as well, maybe? With a friend or two?
Would something like a day at, say, Thorpe Park or similar, be accessible? With fast passes? Maybe use Tesco vouchers or similar to make it more affordable if that's a barrier? Or contact the venue and explain the situation and see if there are any schemes whereby she could be a guest?

they Will not allow it due to the type of water.
swimming pool water we managed to get this approved but other than a dry Hammond for open waters it’s a no especially the river Thames.

There are so many things they could have done with the kids that was totally inclusive
it’s a disgrace
so sorry

God, your poor daughter. That’s truly crap. The year 6 treat should be inclusive. I would complain.

I was never “that” parent but honestly I’d raise hell over this, to the point of threatening to go to the media if it isn’t rectified. How awful for your daughter. This situation was so, so easily avoided.