To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

This is what I'd do, let your daughter choose something herself as a treat (or you chose something she'd love) for the Friday (adventure playground, horse riding, build a bear, ice skating, MacDonalds, whatever she'd love and is an ok spending amount for you). And then invite her friends round for something fun next weekend (not the Friday as they might still be buzzing about the kyaking). I'm sorry the school have been so thoughtless at not chosing something where your daughter could be involved. I struggled being left out as an adult, it must be soul destroying aged 6.

This is an ace idea!

I would absolutely do this OP and I’d also let them know. Not in a big way but I would mention it. So sorry - that’s really shit of them with this oversight.

Solidarity from a parent of a child with ill health.

Is this the usual trip they do with them?
I am surprised at the short notice as you normally need to get in permission slips etc so schools normally hand out letters at least 2 weeks in advance so it's a bit unusual you have only just heard that this is the plan for Friday.
Ours do some fun stuff in school on the Friday but have a trip to a theme park too. This however is what is done every year. If it's typical that year 6 go to the rafting place then it's annoying but I guess the norm, however if they do something different each year and have therefore chosen rafting this time then I would be speaking to the school about being inclusive and how they came to this decision.

I agree. I’d be taking her out for the day if you can.

I’m upset on your behalf! There’s a million treat activities they could have booked that didn’t involve some revolting river! Your poor dd

I would put in a formal complaint about this. It is absolutely unacceptable for the school to arrange an event which deliberately excludes a child.

I would also contact the Local Authority inclusion team and ask for their advice.

Yes, exactly this. YANBU OP. The school are well aware of the additional support (and thought!) she needs from them and all they had to do was give you sufficient notice to rent the special swimwear. There's no excuse for their lack of consideration for your DD. 😠

This is outrageous. I hope you complain to the school.

That’s absolutely heartbreaking I’m cross for you!!! As others have said I would take her out of school that day and do something lovely together telling her that because she has been even more amazing than everyone else, because she has achieved AND been dealing with hospital etc she has got the gold prize of a day off school! Then organise a little get together at home, bless her you must be so proud of your little trooper

I’m livid on your behalf too. This is totally unacceptable. Just more exclusion.

Why should she watch her peers when the school should have been making it more inclusive from the beginning. This isn’t a last minute thing. They just havent announced it too now.

Exactly this.🥰

I would actually be furious at the school for this - and I worked in schools for 20 years until 3 years ago and frequently think people are ridiculous in what they expect from schools.

Either this has been booked and planned long in advance - in which case they could and should have told you, on the insistence that you keep schtum, so you could organise her inclusion. I've seen that happen numerous times, and my own DD2s school often used to run things by me to ask how they should deal with her narcolepsy with it.

Or if they've booked very last minute they should have booked something that was easily inclusive to all pupils.

I agree this would be lovely and what a sh*tty thing for the school to do especially if they were well aware of her needs.

I have however seen someone post on here just recently that a similar thing has happened and DC was expected in school otherwise it was unauthorised absence? Obviously if you won’t get fined or are happy with the fine then go for it!!

Sorry op that is so shitty when so many other activities could have met everyone’s needs.

OP please do this!! From my knowledge of water sports instructors, I completely agree that they’d want the opportunity to find a way to make this happen.

Then, you have every reason to write an email that will make your daughter’s teachers feel like shit.

Could you arrange the same on another date with a few of her friends ? That’s thoughtless of the school and not inclusive.

I’d actually put in a formal written complaint about that. They have deliberately chosen an activity your child can’t participate in, knowing she can’t do the residential and presumably fully aware she can’t go in the water. There are dozens of other activities they could have chosen - regardless of whether your daughter is “just one child” they didn’t need to pick that one and they definitely didn’t need to wait until this week to notify you. It’s not inclusive and it’s not fair.

A family day out or day off school is simply not equivalent or any kind of compensation - my own y6 would be absolutely gutted to miss anything his peers are doing this term, they’re so aware there’s a limited time left to do things with their class. I could offer him a day out to an expensive paid attraction with me and he’d choose the local park and ice creams trip his class are doing post SATs.

Hey OP 👋
The school were thoughtless & should have organised a different trip x

I think it's absolutely crap of the school to organise an activity that not all the children can participate in and I would have hoped that your daughter's teacher would advocate for her and veto water based activities when it was discussed.

There isn't much you can do about it now except take her out of school that day and make sure she has a fantastic day. I would also think about organising another day to have her friends over and do an end of term party for her and make it really special.

Your situation is textbook discrimination because of not considering every child's needs and whether they would be able to participate. A different special treat should have been put on, one that every child could access safely.
I'm assuming your daughter is likely to get level 4s in the SATs? Of course they want her in for those.
I would be complaining to governing body about this and referencing EHRC guidance on discrimination and the Equality Act.

your poor dd.
I'd be sending a letter to Govenors./Ofsted... so this doesn't affect other children coming up.
They would have had to book this activity and do a risk assessment well in advance.. and they only gave you four days notice.
There might be other children in the class who don't have sufficient swimming skills to go kayaking on the River Thames. My DC did a course there once and it can be fast flowing.

I'm really disappointed in the school and surprised that they have gone ahead and done this!

There was a very severely disabled girl in my daughter's year at school. Every trip they went on, they had to make sure it was inclusive for her or they didn't do it. I thought that was just standard practice, like the law or something?

She will likely do quite well in reading comp
maybe maths
unlikely spag ( due to spelling ) unless she aced the punctuation paper but that’s not likely 🙈

The school are swines, heartless and thoughtless.