To be genuinely tearful about this situation 🥹

[Theordinaryfam]

This will be very outing but I honestly feel so heartbroken and I am sure I am probably over reacting.
DD is year 6 of primary school, she has not had it easy and ill health has meant she has had a unique education journey so far.
she is an able, sweet and kind girl who causes very little trouble for anyone.
she has an IV central line called a Hickman line which she has had since neonates. She although has been through a lot tries her best at everything she does and is capable of most things when well.
the only thing that is fairly restrictive is water based activities due to high risk is sepsis - something we know all too well can put her life at risk. We have to take care in physical activities but that is usually easily adapted and she participates to her level of ability.
the school are aware of the issues surrounding this due to a few times now it being a barrier.
year 6 SATS are this week and between some medical appointments she is sitting them like everyone else.
she was excited about Friday because she anticipated something fun was going to happen with her class due to SATS ending Thursday and she was right.
The school however did do any risk assessments before booking a trip to a riverside water activity centre where they will be kayaking etc in the in the River Thames. She is the only child again that won’t be able to attend ( she can not participate in residential which for many reasons I accept and agree )
I could of maybe swang it with the hospital which again was something the school has had previous experience with regarding daughter to allow her with a specific swim gear that we could lend from a charity but they have given me 4 days notice.
tonight I have had to sit and tell DD that she will most likely not be able to participate in the Friday after her working so hard.
she is so upset and I am so angry but I know probably like I will be told in here she is one child 🥹🥹

I can see why the hospital have said no to the Thames- I’m not sure I’d be keen for any child doing that even without the added complications yours has given how grim the Thames is.

I think the school has been rubbish here. There is lots that annoys me about my primary but there’s no way they’d do this. I’d have thought some of your daughter’s class mates will be quite angry on her behalf. There is a child with very severe disabilities in a different year to mine and I’ve seen the school adapt its ‘usual’ trips and events to be inclusive without being tokenistic. I was so impressed to see how they managed sports day for example and I think this child’s class would be the first to question something that sounded exclusionary.

I really think you need to take this to Governors, just to really press the issue and make them really think about their actions.

They've been incredibly insensitive, here.

They need to understand the impact this will have on your DD and nothing helps schools consider their own actions more than the threat of a bollocking.

I was going to ask if you have a class WhatsApp group because a decent group of outraged parents might have been able to force the school to do a different activity. But you’ve already said they’re not a friendly lot and perhaps wouldn’t care that your child is left out 😔

My mum trained as a teacher in the 60s and often says that the standard of teachers now is not what it used to be and I do think she’s right. Surely when they were thinking up the activity your child’s class teacher should have thought of your daughter and vetoed the activity or at least have checked with you if your daughter could participate before announcing it to the kids and parents. These children are about to leave this school forever. The least they could do is put on one last treat they could all enjoy - even if it was just a movie afternoon in the school hall at least they could all be there together!

You should complain to the school as this is a form of discrimination on the grounds of disability.

I can't believe it would have been beyond the school to make "reasonable adjustments" to find an activity that all year 6 children - including your daughter - could have safely participated in together to mark the end of their primary school education.

Sounds to me like something has been chosen that is a hobby of someone at the school

Complain to the local education authority too,

Im sorry your daughter has been treated like this. I’m a teacher (who loves an adventurous outdoor trip) and there’s no way I’d have planned this as a class treat when there was a child who wouldn’t be able to take part. My headteacher wouldn’t allow it either. There are literally hundreds of other fun things to do in London instead.

I thought I would feel better after a few hours but no I’m still upset 🥹🙈

Think I will get talked around because it will be pour down to cost.

Kindly op, I wouldn’t give a fuck if it upset the other parents. Your daughter will be leaving the school soon anyway. And if they genuinely begrudge a the school including a disabled child in the final ever group activity, they are the worst kind of people and their feelings are worthless to me.

This is discrimination . I’d be writing a formal complaint to the Governors ( so that Ofsted view it when they visit ) suggesting that they revisit their equality and diversity procedures . Its unnecessarily cruel & thoughtless to leave one child out .

Raging for you and her. I have children with specific issues and I am instilling in them their rights to inclusivity and to call discrimination when it occurs. School is a particular cattle market. They don’t complain when they can’t participate fully because they are embarrassed to be different but it is my deepest hope that one day they will be confident enough to eloquently call out indirect and direct discrimination. They are so many ignorant people working in
education.

My child had a Hickman line .
What about a dry suit ?
Or changing dressings and cleaning straight after .
2

I suggest you go in tomorrow and speak to the head and SENCO this IS discrimination and goes against the Equalities Act.

What, have the suggested - that she joins the nine water activity?

Would need a dry hammond yes but despite me always asking for of notice about these things we have 4 days notice 🙈🙈

I’m so sorry @Theordinaryfam the thoughtlessness is heartbreaking. My dd has a disability that sometimes means she misses out on things and every time it’s a shitty little reminder that her condition is unfair and people don’t generally give a shit.

I’m so cross they didn’t give you notice to sort something that could have helped her participate.

It would be good if her friends and other parents were angry on her behalf.

They will learn from this for the future.

Nasty school - good she's leaving.

This is what’s so frustrating is a few years ago I would be saying this was the best school ever for her - when she first started it was like a weight had been lifted.
I don’t know what had occurred the last few though
one of her teachers is an absolute god send and so so lovely - who is trying to rectify.

I just can’t help but be angry about this.

The school should have chosen a different fun activity which your daughter could join in with, I am sure there are plenty of activities which would be suitable.

When I was SENCO at a Secondary School, the Head of Year 8 organised a reward trip, based on attendance and number of merits awarded, to Blackpool. We worked with a girl who used an electric wheelchair to get around and needed a hoist to access the toilet. Obviously the necessary equipment was included in school but the HOY did not factor in her needs when doing the risk assessment. I was furious as an adapted coach could have been booked and we could borrow a portable hoist from a local Specialist provision - but the HOY refused to alter any plans.

Little did she know me! I contacted the Head Teacher who fully supported me and found extra money to book an adapted taxi for the trip, for the girl, her TA and a couple of friends. We went to collect the hoist the night before and it went in the boot of the coach. The girl could have worn nappies all day but why should she when trained TAs were able to go on the trip, she did not need nappies when in school.

From then on, I was included in the planning and risk assessments for all trips so I could advocate for any pupil with additional needs, obvious or not, if they were on my radar, I made sure they went on the trip if they wanted to.

I would have thought excluding your daughter is discrimination.

I'm not one to advocate complaining to schools very often, but I think this is unacceptable. The school was presumably aware of your dd's needs and should have planned something more inclusive... especially as it is supposed to be a treat after the SATS and they will all be leaving the school soon.

I'm a primary school governor. We have a lot of children with disabilities and additional needs and the school bends over backwards to ensure that activities are planned to be as inclusive as possible.

It might be too late to fix things for your dd this year, but I would still raise it with the school as they need to realise that this isn't fair.

I'm sorry that your dd will end up missing out, but I hope that she won't feel too bad about it and that she can still enjoy the day out with her peers.

Then, you have every reason to write an email that will make your daughter’s teachers feel like shit.

Yes. That’s the mature way of getting across your point. 🙄. It’s thoughtlessness, not maliciousness. I bet they already feel hopelessly guilty.

I love the idea of contacting the watersport’s centre. I bet they could come up with an ingenious way of getting her involved. Or could she be the official photographer for the day? Maybe her photos could be made a fuss of and put on the newsletter or shared in assembly? A poster on another thread said their child was given responsibility for this on sport’s day and loved it.

Oh that is a shame - I’m sorry for you both.

My DS missed out on the majority of his primary school trips and also things like sports days, world book day etc because he couldn’t cope due to his autism (and lack of accommodations etc). I used to scroll through the facebook pictures and feel so sad, but now he’s at secondary school and I barely think of it. It’s tough at the time - but there will be other opportunities in the future. DS has found secondary school to be a much more positive experience.

Please put in a complaint if you feel up to doing that. Billing it to the children as a treat without considering all of them is the bit that concerns me. It needs pointing out.

I am not surprised you are angry I would be livid .Inclusion means that all learners should have equal access to all aspects of school life, including activities like trips. excluding certain students is discriminatory The school should have considered the activities were suitable for all students, including those with disabilities and it really doesn’t look like they have. A risk assessment should have been done – so were they always planning on excluding her or just having her watch the others?
I would send a strongly worded email of complaint expressing your disappointment at their lack of inclusion particularly as this is at the end of her schooling and not something they can make up to her at a later date and denying her the chance her peers have. Almost all schools have something on their websites about being inclusive and an inclusion policy – so I would be asking how they have the policy but have essentially not followed it here.
It is likely too late for any suitable resolution so I would do as others have suggested and take her out for the day yourself.

I will disagree with many of the others to point out that, based on your post, she will have a lot of disappointments ahead of her, and you are doing her a disservice if you let her see you being tearful, instead of trying to teach her to shrug it off. All of us, healthy or not, will have rejections in life, and it's not good to get overly worked up about it.

Of course you can’t help being angry; it is right that you are.
I’m so sad for your daughter - unthinking bloody idiots at the school.
Just for you both. And a sincere hope that Arses Will Be Kicked.

I would be writing to the chair of governors about this, tbh. Point out that the teacher had explicitly talked about DD doing SATS along with her friends, but that adequate provision and notice was not given to allow her to participate in the curriculum-enrichment activity afterwards. Is this the sort of school they want?

I love you. That’s all.