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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Airplane drama!

787 replies

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:27

DD is a month shy of 4, and we’re flying into California for a hiking/camping trip. The flight is 5 hours, and we booked the cheapest one we could. Naturally, the space between rows of seating are insanely small (that’s what I get for scrimping, I suppose), and DD is at an awkward height where the edge of the seat is hitting her upper/mid calf, so her feet are forced outwards if she’s not sitting closer to the edge so that her knees can bend (if that makes sense?) She’s also inherited my boat feet, so the ends of her shoes are literally a couple centimeters from the seat in front of her.

She was having a hard time getting comfortable in her seat for take off, and every time she went to adjust herself, her feet moved and touched the seat in front of her. Not like, intentionally full force kicking the seat or anything (which I’ve definitely experienced in the past. I’m not sure a car seat would have helped with distancing her from it, either.) She also just fidgets a lot because, y’know, she’s a child. The woman sitting in it (I’m thinking she had to be in her late 40s, maybe 50s) turned around and directly told my daughter to stop kicking her seat. I reiterated to DD to sit still and try to keep her feet to herself.

She was struggling to do that, so I tried to have her lie down with her feet on my lap (it’s an early flight; she should be sleeping anyhow), but the flight attendant came by to say she needed to be sitting upright and facing forward for take off, so I put her back to where she was. A few minutes later, the woman turns around again and loudly snaps (almost shouting) “Stop kicking my seat! This is the last time I’m telling you!” Which, idk seems kind of like a threat ? I certainly would have spoken to the parent, not the child, and used different words, or involved the flight attendant if I was so bothered by something s/he was doing. And I know it’s certainly annoying to have someone touching your seat, and I was (audibly, I think) doing my best to keep that from happening. I apologized to the woman and kept trying to keep DD still.

A few minutes go by, and we’re about to start taxiing to the runway, and DD starts whining that she’s thirsty. (Me being a dummy dumb dumb, I left our drinks from the airport in the carry on I stowed) I told her they’ll bring us something to drink in a bit, once we’re in the air. I honestly think DD was being pretty patient, but she is tired, and started to cry after a while. (Full tears, definitely noisy, but not like, throwing a fit or anything.) I was desperately trying to get her headphones synched to my phone and a YouTube video pulled up in order to distract her. The fidgeting continued, of course.

The woman in front of us (WIFOU) started cursing in both English and Spanish (not turned around again, but definitely directed at us), saying things like “Shut the fuck up!”, “Son of a bitch! Make her stop!” “ And “I’m about to fucking develop Tourette’s!” Which I was aghast to hear in a cabin with lots of children in earshot, and also thought was pretty insensitive to people who actually have Tourette’s.. Her partner made comments about how it’s going to be a long flight and they weren’t going to get any sleep.

The swearing only made DD cry more. I didn’t say anything to them, but just kept working on quieting her down. Used bribes snacks, threats consequences, distractions, and promises, and eventually succeeded. Course, soon as mine stopped, another child started having a tantrum behind us. This elicited “Knock that thing out with some fucking drugs!” from WIFOU. I was surprised the flight attendant (FA) didn’t say anything to her about it. I thought, maybe she should be the one knocking herself out with drugs, but kept that to myself.

By twenty minutes into the flight, WIFOU and her partner had asked three times to be moved, but the only available seats were “upgraded” to be more comfortable and spacious, and cost an additional £60 each, and they refused to pay. The third time, the FA checked in with DD and I and gave me an obligatory “Can you have her stop kicking? I know she’s a child…” I told her “We’re trying,” and she nodded understandingly and went back to her duties.

The fourth time they asked to be moved/upgraded, they were getting irate. FA looked embarrassed to have to insist they pay for the better seats. I interjected and suggested that the couple switch rows with DD and I, so that at least she wouldn’t be behind them. This irritated the people sitting in the aisle seats, who had to get up to allow us to shuffle around, but it at least stopped their complaining. I was worried DD was going to piss off our new neighbors ahead, but thankfully it was a little boy sitting in front of DD, and he didn’t seem to notice
DD’s wiggling about… I finally just got her to sleep, 2.5 hours in.

I think next time we will either cough up the funds for more spacious seating or just fly via a different airline… But honestly, I see airplanes as just another form of public transportation that’s gonna have crying and fidgety kids on it, with parents ranging from desperately trying to keep their littles polite and unassuming, to entitled parents who think it’s their kids’ right to run wild and do as they please... If I didn’t want to hear or feel them, I’d probably wear my hearing protection I use for my job, and purchase the seat behind me. Usually I just put up with it, since I empathize. I don’t think children should have to miss out on traveling before they’re fully developed, either.

What’s your opinion?

OP posts:
MumChp · 12/05/2025 16:30

I hate children kicking my seat and I have never allowed my children to do it.

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:31

MumChp · 12/05/2025 16:30

I hate children kicking my seat and I have never allowed my children to do it.

How did you get them not to?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:32

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:31

How did you get them not to?

By telling them not to kick the seat?

Bubblewrapper · 12/05/2025 16:33

My heart goes out to the passenger in front of your daughter

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:33

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:32

By telling them not to kick the seat?

And they just… sat still?

OP posts:
nomas · 12/05/2025 16:33

Your dd must have been moving her feet pretty hard for the woman to notice it. Did you at least take off DD’s shoes?

You had a good solution though, swapping rows.

They shouldn’t have sworn, I’d have given them short shrift for that.

Talipesmum · 12/05/2025 16:33

Fidgety noisy children are annoying but this passenger was hideously rude and just massively escalated the whole situation.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:34

Do you think it’s fine to kick people’s seats on other forms of public transportation, then?

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:34

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:33

And they just… sat still?

Well yes, at nearly 4. Children and grandchild.

AusBoundDD · 12/05/2025 16:34

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:32

By telling them not to kick the seat?

This. Really not that difficult OP. She may be ‘just a child’ but at 4 she’s more than capable of following basic instructions. Could you not have at very least kept her still for take off and landing? For the rest of the flight she could’ve simply sat cross legged or laid down

MumChp · 12/05/2025 16:35

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:33

And they just… sat still?

With enough parental guiding, entertainment, shoes off and snacks, yes.

Being a child isn't an excuse to be a pita.

HowManyMintCLubsIsTooMany · 12/05/2025 16:36

She absolutely should not have reacted the way she did in terms of swearing etc, however it absolutely gives me the rage when children kick seats. You try being kicked in the back more than once.

And you should have been better prepared re drinks etc.

If your child is kicking the seat, whether intentional
or not, you put your hands out to stop them. Even if it’s for the whole flight.

Triptothepark · 12/05/2025 16:36

All of the above and I'd love to know why you think her age is relevant. Please don't actually answer that.

rookiemere · 12/05/2025 16:37

It sounds like you were just very unlucky with who was sat in front of you.

I would hate to have my seat repeatedly kicked, but from your description it doesn’t sound like that’s what was happening. I try not to get irked at children crying or tantruming on a journey as I have been there myself, the other thing you could have tried was having DD swap seats as it sounds like the woman was unhinged but her DP less so.

Eyesopenwideawake · 12/05/2025 16:37

You are full of excuses aren't you?

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:37

nomas · 12/05/2025 16:33

Your dd must have been moving her feet pretty hard for the woman to notice it. Did you at least take off DD’s shoes?

You had a good solution though, swapping rows.

They shouldn’t have sworn, I’d have given them short shrift for that.

I wish I had thought of taking off her shoes! I’m so slow 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don’t think it was that hard, but I also know these are very cheap seats and you can probably feel everything through them.

I agree; I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to use that kind of language in front of a child.

OP posts:
CanOfMangoTango · 12/05/2025 16:37

I find kids kicking my seat insanely annoying. I think it's the fact it's intermittent so you notice it a lot more than if it was a regular tap. If parents are trying to keep them still, I have a lot more patience.

But that's life in cramped economy tbh.

They were really out of order to be so rude and frankly aggressive. Your solution was a good one. I think they were just after a free upgrade tbh and were making heavy weather out of it to try and pressure the FA.

DontKnowHelpMe · 12/05/2025 16:38

FairPlayer274 · 12/05/2025 16:31

How did you get them not to?

By holding their feet (gently) to restrict movement or placing a barrier between their feet and the seat in front. Alternatively by angling them so their feet can't reach.

I hate my seat being kicked. I never allowed my children to do it to others.

FrodoBiggins · 12/05/2025 16:38

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/05/2025 16:34

Do you think it’s fine to kick people’s seats on other forms of public transportation, then?

No! But to be fair I'm not THREE YEARS OLD

Your child's behaviour was fairly annoying OP but the WIFOU needs to FO.

KrisAkabusi · 12/05/2025 16:38

It's very annoying, but it's at least partially your fault for not being prepared - stowing the drinks, not having headphones etc - all things that you could have been ready for.

Bubblewrapper · 12/05/2025 16:38

I’d have hauled her on my lap and pinned her legs to my legs to stop her kicking

bloody uncomfortable for me and her but at least I’m not ruining a passenger’s flight

LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 12/05/2025 16:39

It’s annoying having a kid kicking your seat but it would be a brave person who spoke to my child like that, my reaction would have made theirs look reasonable tbh.

KarCat · 12/05/2025 16:39

I’m going to buck the trend and say that the passenger was absolutely out of order and sounds like a nasty bitch.
It’s so bloody stressful flying with kids anyway, other passengers being wankers makes it a thousand times worse.
Christ what happened to a bit of empathy?

DontKnowHelpMe · 12/05/2025 16:39

I might also have swapped seats with her.

Throwmoneyatit · 12/05/2025 16:40

If your daughter has kicked the seat enough to annoy somebody infront of you before you have even started taxiing, I think you were being unreasonable. You need to be more organised and make sure distractions are in place and ready before you even start thinking of boarding.
The passengers infront shouldn't have reacted like that, however they've also paid and should be able to have a reasonably peaceful flight. But, five hours is a long time to have your seat kicked.