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Original poster

My son is changing.

223 replies

BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:42

Hi everyone. my son is 22 and I have been noticing a lot of changes in his interests. my and DH were hoping he would go down the dependable sensible type. But he seems to be keen on the arts. He's been talking about starting a podcast with his friends and he's stopped cutting his hair and is getting a ridiculous mullet to go alongside a wispy mustache which looks so untidy. The other day he tried to show me a video of Ed Sheeran where Ed Sheeran was showing off all his tattoos. I am just worried that the artistic life is a struggle and certainly don't want him getting a Tattoo he used to be such a sensible boy. Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
xmasdealhunter · 12/05/2025 13:44

Your son is an adult at 22, and can make his own choices. If you don't want to push him away then I wouldn't start trying to dictate what he can or cannot do, or what you think he should or should not do. He is old enough to work out what he enjoys/is a viable career and tattoos are a personal choice.

TooGoodToGoto · 12/05/2025 13:44

Is this a joke that I’ve missed?

DissDissOrDiss · 12/05/2025 13:44

He’s 22 - prime age for exploring the world, being creative and having fun. I think he sounds pretty cool.

Who wants to be ‘dependable and sensible’ in their early twenties?!

Leave him be OP.

faerietales · 12/05/2025 13:44

I'm failing to see the issue.

YankSplaining · 12/05/2025 13:46

It sounds like maybe he didn’t feel comfortable branching out and separating from you when he was a teenager, and now he does. Did you put a lot of pressure on him to be sensible and dependable, or praise him for that so he felt he’d be disappointing you if he didn’t meet your standard?

Starting a podcast is no big deal, and hair is changeable. Just let him figure himself out.

FishDancer · 12/05/2025 13:46

So you don't like his hair and facial hair, interest in the arts, and the fact that he showed you an Ed Sheeran video, because clearly this means he will never settle down as a nice, dependable accountant married to a nice, sensible girl with 2 nice, sensible children, and spend his weekends washing the car and wearing gilets?

Don't you think you're overeacting somewhat to a mullet and an Ed Sheeran video?

DeedlessIndeed · 12/05/2025 13:47

Maybe the pressure to be so dependable and sensible has pushed him to something completely different?

Perhaps just remind him that you support him and his choices as his loving parent, and leave it at that.

Pandimoanymum · 12/05/2025 13:48

It’s a podcast and a haircut, he’s not dealing drugs.

FishDancer · 12/05/2025 13:48

DissDissOrDiss · 12/05/2025 13:44

He’s 22 - prime age for exploring the world, being creative and having fun. I think he sounds pretty cool.

Who wants to be ‘dependable and sensible’ in their early twenties?!

Leave him be OP.

Yes, come to think of it, aged 22 I had dropped out of an MA and was living in a commune in the US, undocumented and living on fresh air, and having a wonderful time. I, and the vast majority of the others, all now in our 50s and older, are perfectly functional members of society, with professions and houses and children etc. I wouldn't swap a second of it.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 12/05/2025 13:50

yes you are over-reacting.

BUT what does he actually DO? It's well and good to be "an artist" and start a podcast, but only in his spare time. A 22 years old should be in full time education ,or at the very worst have a full time job.

RIdiculous hair will disappear as soon as a pretty girl comes around
what's wrong with tattoos?

Ladamesansmerci · 12/05/2025 13:51

BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:42

Hi everyone. my son is 22 and I have been noticing a lot of changes in his interests. my and DH were hoping he would go down the dependable sensible type. But he seems to be keen on the arts. He's been talking about starting a podcast with his friends and he's stopped cutting his hair and is getting a ridiculous mullet to go alongside a wispy mustache which looks so untidy. The other day he tried to show me a video of Ed Sheeran where Ed Sheeran was showing off all his tattoos. I am just worried that the artistic life is a struggle and certainly don't want him getting a Tattoo he used to be such a sensible boy. Am I over reacting?

Mullets are on trend! Also, millions of people like Ed Sheeran. Having tattoos and a mullet will not affect him in modern times.

Starting a podcast suggests he is creative, charismatic, and confident. Aren't those good traits?

Let him get on with it and stop being so judgemental. Your 20's is when you explore your identity, and he had every right to do that.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 12/05/2025 13:51

To add, when I was 22, my parents had absolutely no idea what I was up to 😂

Moier · 12/05/2025 13:51

You have got to be joking?
Leave him be.
He's 22 ffs.
Sounds like a great adult to me.
My 20 year old Grandson has lovely thick curly long hair.
Dresses grungy .. had piercings
I simply adore him .
Oh and he loves music like The Cure and The Smiths.. even better .

Un4732 · 12/05/2025 13:51

I'm in the creative industries and a higher rate tax payer OP. We're not all chopping our ears off and living in poverty.

Plenty of well-paying work outside the corporate world (and it's more fun!)

Us people tend to go through a funny-looking phase in our 20s too, called expression - but then most do. Artists and accountants alike.

He'll be fine.

Frozenbreadrolls · 12/05/2025 13:52

The artistic route is a struggle. All the people I know who went down this route, and have stayed in it, do not earn much ( middle aged) and have crap pensions if any at all. One was doing ok but it was long hours and all freelance. She retrained in a dependable profession. Another did actually do well and have a high paying job and has investments for retirement but again is freelance and in middle age he has found work drying up. If he didn't have a partner to support him he would now need to be selling his retirement investments to meet his current living costs.

Based on this, would be worried if my children decided on a career in the arts. Its very competitive, and a lot of job insecurity.

Not much you can do about it other than point out pitfalls and encourage a back up plan, and lots of transferable skills.

Ratisshortforratthew · 12/05/2025 13:54

He sounds way more fun and interesting than a “sensible and dependable” suit of a man. Even in my 30s I’d pick someone like that over Mr Picket Fence.

Original poster
BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:56

Thanks for all your input, I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I guess its just a lot of change in a short space of time. The hair and tasch look ridiculous though.

OP posts:
SilverButton · 12/05/2025 13:57

Does he work or study OP?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/05/2025 13:58

BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:56

Thanks for all your input, I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I guess its just a lot of change in a short space of time. The hair and tasch look ridiculous though.

To you, they look ridiculous to you.

I quite often laugh at some of the fashion choices I see around me, and then remember my parents' forebearance when I got a perm and have a word with myself.

faerietales · 12/05/2025 13:59

BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:56

Thanks for all your input, I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I guess its just a lot of change in a short space of time. The hair and tasch look ridiculous though.

I'm sure you wear things he finds ridiculous as well.

ShaunaSadeki · 12/05/2025 13:59

@BarbBarb He is meant to look a bit silly to you and you are meant to look a little bit boring to him.

Mischance · 12/05/2025 14:00

Sounds like a great guy - can you introduce me?

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 12/05/2025 14:00

BarbBarb · 12/05/2025 13:56

Thanks for all your input, I appreciate you taking the time to comment, I guess its just a lot of change in a short space of time. The hair and tasch look ridiculous though.

they probably are, but sounds like he's having his teen-rebellion-crisis phase a bit later than most. He'll laugh about it one day.

Gemmawemma9 · 12/05/2025 14:02

Oh no, not…the arts!!!
This has to be satire, right?
🤣🤣🤣 you are fucking ridiculous. Honestly if this is all you have to worry about when it comes to your kids, you’re doing alright. I suggest catching a massive fucking grip.

ShaunaSadeki · 12/05/2025 14:03

My DD wears awful false nails (much younger than your DS) and as soon as legally able will be getting her belly button pierced 😩

My DS (same age as yours) looks and acts pretty sensible, but has stick and poke tattoos 🙄

Both DC think my sandals are ridiculous and my mum hates my nose piercing 🤷🏻‍♀️

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