My son is changing.

[BarbBarb]

Hi everyone. my son is 22 and I have been noticing a lot of changes in his interests. my and DH were hoping he would go down the dependable sensible type. But he seems to be keen on the arts. He's been talking about starting a podcast with his friends and he's stopped cutting his hair and is getting a ridiculous mullet to go alongside a wispy mustache which looks so untidy. The other day he tried to show me a video of Ed Sheeran where Ed Sheeran was showing off all his tattoos. I am just worried that the artistic life is a struggle and certainly don't want him getting a Tattoo he used to be such a sensible boy. Am I over reacting?

lol, you would love my musician DS's tats then.

In his first year at uni and is fully embracing the alternative lifestyle! I am very proud of him

Podcasts and mullets are a gateway to drugs! You mark my words, that way darkness leith 😆

This can't be a genuine post. Surely no one has such a sheltered life that they worry about an adult getting into the 'artistic life'.

I write novels for a living, but like a lot of novelists, also have a FT academic post in a university creative writing department. I do OK financially, and I like both parts of my job, which is stable and satisfying (and comes with a nice pension), and my life. I have friends who write novels and are doing remarkably well financially, having sold the rights to a book to be made into a TV series, or written a bestseller. And others who have been less lucky, but are making a living running writing retreats, working in arts admin etc. I know one astonishing visual artist who is enjoying huge success in her 70s, having spent most of her life making a living through teaching meditation. Another teaches writing in prisons.

We don't all starve in garrets.

But I do want to add if he is expecting you to finance him, or thinks a podcast will provide a living, he needs a little reality check

This is a pretty narrow-minded view of the arts.

My DS has long hair-his choice. He is 7. I can't imagine being bothered about/wanting to control how he has his hair now, let alone when he's 22 😂

So long as he’s working a day job to fund the pod and pay his way and not relying on you or the government for handouts then what’s the issue?

Next thing he'll be dropping out and training in mandolin-making and growing organic rocket.

Does he work? Is he at uni? As long as he is supporting himself or studying so he’ll be able to in future, I wouldn’t worry. If he isn’t and is just dreaming of a podcast making him a living, I’d be a bit concerned.

As for his hair choice, it’s just hair and personally I like the mullet and moustache look. I hate tattoos but what can you do, it’s his body and he’s an adult. Hair and tattoos aren’t really an issue at all.

This has to be a wind-up. 😂

A serious question though @BarbBarb
Who is paying his living expenses?

If either of my sons started listening to Ed Sheeran I'd be worried too!

What is wrong with The Arts? I think everyone should take an interest in The Arts and who is to say what a sensible life is?
He is an adult let him life his own life, pursue his own interests and make his own mistakes and successes

I can definitely see why you are concerned - 'taches and tattoos are horrible, and it is only a very lucky few who can make decent money in the arts.

On the other hand surely whether or not you should be genuinely concerned has to be based on things like his attitudes and beliefs and ambitions and the way he lives his live.

This has to be a joke.
If not then leave him be. Don't push him away by dictating what his hair should be like or the hobbies/jobs he chooses.
All that will happen is you will see him less and less

He’s being his own person. Get off his back before you drive him away

I think there are a lot worse people that young men could be listening to and admiring that Ed.

He is an adult, he has been an adult for the last 4 years. It is up to him to decide how he wants to look and what he wants to do.

Lol. Yes

lol. He sounds cool. Leave him alone and stop fretting.

You poor thing, @BarbBarb , I feel your pain.
Is there a helpline you can call?

Also Ed Sheeran as a signpost for an alternative life path 🤣🤣🤣🤣

He's going to probably get up to quite a bit more before he settles down.

Just as an aside, there jury is still out on tattoos and a link to lymphoma.

I'd not be getting one myself:

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(24)00228-1/fulltext

'what's wrong with tattoos?'

Is there some law that everyone has to like them!

You are over reacting though, he has not mentioned tattoos and haircut you can change. Can't see a problem with a podcast

hoping he would go down the dependable sensible type. But he seems to be keen on the arts

what does this even mean?

how does “the arts” conflict with your idea of him?

also the examples you use are very odd on your part, just sounds like you’re out of touch with 22 year olds.