My 84yr old Mum asked if she should be addressed as a Woman

[Horrace]

Yesterday my 84yr old Mum had to be interviewed by the police after witnessing a sudden death of a close friend. The death was traumatic in itself and happened abroad.
The first question the officer asked my mum was " would you like to be addressed as a woman?"
My mother was furious at this but also so upset and tired that she burst into tears.
I am so cross. I don't understand why they would ask her this. Would they ask a man similar.

Wtf I’ve not been asked this by anyone tg.

Yeah it's on the system but common sense tells us when it mignt be relevant and when it isn't.

Yep. These nurses need to be shamed into silence. Only then will they ignore the request of the power drunk higher ups and not ask (well, unless absolutely needed if there is a doubt) the question and use their fucking initiative - just not...ask....it. They can make that CHOICE. We need to shame them into silence and initiative. If enough do it, they will stop asking.

If there is no system override there's a problem in its own right. Humans shouldn't act as robots.

Yes @wlv12 I would not answer your question AT ALL. We could go round in circles for 5 minutes, I steadfastly REFUSE to answer your question. So in that situation, how would you forward with me as a patient? If a midwife is too immature and unhinged that they don't know a pregnant female is a woman and that they can't use their initiative and not ask, and I don't give you an answer, how would you in your professional capacity go forward with me?

They LiTeRaLly can. They can choose to cross/tick it off themselves quietly without asking.

They literally can. They literally, LITERALLY, can. It's called - or used to be called - initiative.

Nowadays they're too afraid to make a move without being spoonfed each way along the line. They've substituted common sense, initiative and being able to work independently with following every step from the higher ups even if it's illogical and unworkable.

It's annoying isn't it? I haven't been asked in person but on forms etc. Another thing that pisses me off royally is having to choose a title to put before your name. I don't want one, I like to be addressed by my first name, and that should be all that's necessary.

They'd offend me enormously by asking what my "preferred pronoun" and gender identity is. The question itself makes assumptions.

“People like you” so people who know that sex is binary and immutable and can spot a man at 50 paces?

Are you one of these rare people who can’t tell what sex the person in front of you is then? It’s a strange affliction claimed by the righteous. Even dogs and horses can tell the sex of humans so I feel sorry for your lack of ability. It must be very awkward at times.

and shows patients that the clinician assessing them cares about their identity and getting it right/being respectful
When I’m ill enough to seek medical attention; having my “identity” respected is the very last thing on my mind…
I suspect I’m not alone in this.

Yes. I imagine the threats of repercussions from the trans activists have been so dire no one dares think for themselves.

If hospital staff can be made to cancel life saving operations or procedures or withdraw treatment and boot out a female patient for merely requesting a single sex space, they’re not going to dare push back on anything else.

And yes, these things have happened to real women. This is what the ‘righteous’ on this thread are cheering on.

Especially when it means they also respect the ‘identity’ of the man who very specifically wants to be on a female ward for *reasons and who may or may might not turn out to be a rapist.

Yes, this has also happened more than once.

No, people like you who attack other women for not conforming to your highly specific idea of how a woman should think and behave

I think its the kaftaesque lunacy that pisses me off EVEN MORE than the ideology itself.

People who have done all this training and then just repeat it, without questioning the harm it might do, because they apparently can't think for themselves or are in a state of fear.

No. Say its bollocks. Once people start saying its bollocks in every scenario they feel able to, then it WILL collaspe because it will be impossible to maintain.

All we believe is that women are female. It's not complicated.

Do you think women who think gender is more nuanced than that deserve to be treated respectfully in general?

Here's my proposition for dealing with this issue in a way that hopefully offends nobody and ensures they have all the relevant information.

We ask people the following questions:

Name:
Sex:
Date of birth:

Then the following:

How do you like to be addressed? (This gives people the opportunity to state their preferred pronouns, or whether they prefer to be called Miss Smith or Ms Smith or Mrs Smith or Dr Smith or simply "Sarah".)

Are you transgender? If yes, please confirm both your sex at birth and your gender identity.

Surely that covers all bases and we can stop asking 85 year old men if they may be pregnant.

I don't really see the point in asking if trans. Its pushing the issue too.

Its covered in how you want to be addressed. You could ask if there is anyother significant information or details that would help with your care

Keep it neutral without everything being centred on sexism.

Yes what’s wrong with how would you like to be addressed?

I disagree.

Consider the possibility that a passing trans man presents at hospital with abdominal pain, gives their sex as M and says they want to be addressed as Kevin. If we don't ask the question and we treat Kevin as a man, we miss the fact that Kevin is having an ectopic pregnancy.

If Kevin writes "M" under "sex" but then answers the transgender question as "I was assigned female at birth but identify as a man", we have vital information that we might not otherwise have had.

Gender is indeed more nuanced, including people not having a gender identity. Everyone deserved to be treated respectfully. Sex however is binary and not nuanced. Woman refers to sex, ie female

The fact that some people won't answer the "sex" question correctly so there will be no apparent conflict with how they like to be addressed.

Everyone deserves to be treated respectfully in general.

But your beliefs about gender and nuance don't have a great deal of bearing on what medical care you need or what spaces you should be using.

You might’ve missed the earlier posts when I said I’d been mistaken for a trans woman and it ended with someone comparing me to a dog

Exactly @MissScarletInTheBallroom it's possible to be inclusive and respectful without being silly.

An alternative would be a sentence on forms or displayed on the wall saying 'if your gender is different to your sex assigned at birth please inform staff at registration / complete part C etc

It's shocking that the policy makers couldn't come up with this alternative themselves.