My 84yr old Mum asked if she should be addressed as a Woman

[Horrace]

Yesterday my 84yr old Mum had to be interviewed by the police after witnessing a sudden death of a close friend. The death was traumatic in itself and happened abroad.
The first question the officer asked my mum was " would you like to be addressed as a woman?"
My mother was furious at this but also so upset and tired that she burst into tears.
I am so cross. I don't understand why they would ask her this. Would they ask a man similar.

Two days after my hysterectomy, whilst on a gynae ward, a nurse asked if I could be pregnant. Gurgled that I was 72 and had just had a hysterectomy, and she replied ' Yes, but could you be pregnant?'

Given her level of 'expertise' wouldn't trust her to pour a glass of water

LAWYER: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

WITNESS: "No."

LAWYER: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

WITNESS: "No."

LAWYER: "Did you check for breathing?"

WITNESS: "No."

LAWYER: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

WITNESS: "No."

LAWYER: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

WITNESS: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

LAWYER: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

WITNESS: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Amend as required for the lunacies of 2025.

It is just so silly and illogical though. I mean if you are pregnant or breast feeding you have completely messed up being male. Surely your pronouns would be the least of your worries.

There are lots of equivalent things medical staff could ask you but they don’t. They don’t ask ‘what’s your preferred age?’ even though lots of people would rather be younger.

My pregnancy hormones would have pushed me over the edge of I was asked this by my Midwife!! It fills me with rage that this is even a thing? Surely you just use their name to refer to them?

I’m not the PP, but I’m guessing they meant that we cannot just tick the ‘white/british’ box just because someone appears white and British.
Ethnicity is relevant for some medical testing and interventions. For example, it could be putting a minority of people at risk to assume someone is white just because they appear white, and they are actually of south Asian ethnicity. They would miss out on certain earlier screening or medical intervention for particular conditions.
It might be a minority of people, but if it was you or someone you care about not getting the correct treatment because of a health care professional’s assumption, that could feel like a pretty major event.

When I was on a gynae ward, the anaesthetist was going round to patients scheduled for surgery asking if they identified as female.

No I think you are a bit mixed up dear. What they don’t want is men pretending to be women in women’s spaces. And it is usually very obvious.

For Christ’s sake stop asking. It’s insulting nonsense that serves no purpose whatsoever.

Precisely!

No, it's because it's fairly obvious when someone is a woman and when someone is distressed being asked stupid, obvious questions is not going to be well received.

See example above about the midwife - fairly obvious I'm a woman as I'm pregnant. Just use my name if they are worried about misgendering or even ask if they want to be referred to as mum or something else. Ridiculous virture signalling.

I have had similar questions and refused to answer. I am just not entertaining it. I was not in a traumatic situation though. I hope your mum is ok x

No, the snowflakes are those individuals who demand that the world contort itself to fit their personal delusions.

Really???? Wtf. What 76 year old, male or female is EVER pregnant ?

The only category thing you need to know for medical reasons is age and sex ( not gender) and possibly ethnicity as some illnesses are more common in some ethnic groups or nationalities.

You caasof course ask how somebody wants to be addressed r what they want to be called to be polite

Then you get onto questions related directly to their health. Asking a 74 year old if they could be pregnant is so stupid, it is almost insulting ! Once you know their age there is no need to ask about pregnancy ffs . Where the hell has sense gone?

It's extremely impolite and insulting to be asked what sex/gender I or my mother are. My mother does not look or sound like a bloke. Her name is that of a woman. There is no way on earth she would or has ever been mistaken for a bloke.
I'm fucking furious

When I was pregnant 50+ years ago and attended the ante natal clinic, we were all addressed as 'Mrs Surname' - that was politeness so as not to embarrass any unmarried mums (very different times!), not today's nonsense.

That's an interesting parallel. What if I "identify" as white, but am actually black or Asian? What if I am adopted and don't know my precise ethnicity? What if I am Jewish but identify as Christian? Should I wear some sort of armband?

What if I "identify" as white, but am actually black or Asian?

That's not allowed. Didn't you know? It's only women you're allowed, nay, ENCOURAGED, to rip the living piss out of in this way.

I would actually be quite upset if someone suggested that they couldn’t tell I was a woman.

@Horrace i'd be furious if they did that to my mum as well.

it is nonsense when the reason for the scan is exclusively male as she says in her post
let’s say it’s for testicles
why would a male presenting person who is actually a pregnant female be turning up for a testicle scan?

If y'have t'ask, y'ain't goin' t'understand th'answer. (to quote a well-known jazz musician on being asked what jazz is anyway.)

Do you think they asked because they thought your mother looked or sounded like a bloke?

I think it was the lunacy of it o. Too of what had just happened. She just couldn't believe he asked her such an idiotic question. She gave him a firm telling off and told him to grow up once she composed herself

Whatever you may "identify" as being (the other sex, a different species, and made of glass spring to mind as possibilities), if you are a human female you're going to be treated incorrectly much of the time because so many treatments, dosages of drugs and so forth are designed for human males. Like seat-belts, and whole scads of other things in life that ought not to be so designed.

No, I think you're a bit confused. It's men who should be asked to prove they are women (if they're claiming they are, and trying to access a female space).

It's true that this may have the unfortunate side effect that the very, very few women presenting convincingly as men might be questioned about whether they should be in a female space, but that's a risk you take when you present yourself as something you're not.