Next door neighbour asking daily for my parking space

[Chocolatecoffeecream]

NDN has a child with disability, so do I. Our road is near a school and always busy. A few weeks ago she called me to say her dd was unwell and she couldn’t park near the house would I mind moving my car so she could have the space outside my house, I said yes of course and moved my car to the next road as there were not any nearer spaces but it wasn’t an issue for what I thought was a one off emergency.

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled. When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated. I said she should perhaps contact the council to see if they can add a disabled parking space ?
She knocked at 11pm one night last week to ask me to move as it would make it easier im the morning for her, I lied and said I’d had too much wine and she said ‘well give me the keys I’ll get dp to move yours ‘!

AIBU to put a note through her door to request that she stops doing this as it’s getting to the point where I feel harassed ?

YANBU. Tell her you have a disabled dc too and won’t be moving again.

That’s CF behaviour. If her child has a significant disability she needs to get the council to put in a space. End of.

YANBU. Tell her you have a disabled child too and she needs to stop pestering you now.

I'd have lost it at her when she knocked on my door at 11pm. If a note through the door is what you feel comfortable with then I would absolutely do that.

Hi neighbour, I moved my car for you when you were having an emergency. You are now asking me constantly and at unsociable hours. I won't be doing it any more so please don't bother to ask again because the answer will be no moving forwards. As I said before, if you think you're entitled to a disabled bay, you need to contact the council.

Her child has a physical disability so I’m hoping they would be eligible for a space but when I suggested it to her she just seemed annoyed with me! My child has SEN so I think she feels she needs to be nearer but I’ve had to regularly carry ds so I also need to be as near to the house as possible. In hindsight I regret the first time but it seemed an emergency and I was happy to help it’s now just turned into a nightmare where each time I park near my house I feel anxious she will jump out as I get to the door !

No, and please stop asking

She is a CF who sees you as a pushover. Why doesn't she ever ask any other neighbours to move their cars, so she can have their spaces? Presumably because she knows that they will tell her to 'go away'.

She is actually treating you and your car as a nothing more than a useful way to reserve what she considers to be her space.

You've done what you can to tell her to apply to the council for a disabled space.

Every time she asks, tell her that you need your space today for [any old reasons] and ask her repeatedly if she's heard any more from the council about her application.

Wrote a note and suggest you both apply/campaign for 2 disabled street spots to be allocated.

Stop answering calls and texts!

If she knocks at 11pm, don't answer the door.

Honestly, I'd phase out the communication and if/when you do see her and she asks, be blunt. Even rude if you must! A few minutes' discomfort for a lifetime of peace. I know which I'd choose.

You should've said no at the beginning tbh

She's mad, tell her you won't be moving your car again. Disabled child or not, that's ridiculous x

I wouldn’t agree to this, but a couple of things you could both or she could do.

First is to investigate getting a disabled parking space outside her house (and yours?).

Second is to contact the school asking for them to encourage parents not to drive their children to and from school, and if they do to be mindful of residents.

Third, though this will cost everyone but would make a world of difference, speak to the council about getting residents parking on your street, or have your street turned into a “school street” where driving/parking is banned except for residents at drop off and pick up (we have this in a few places near us).

How old is her DD? Does she actually have her with her/needing to go in or out every time - or has she just latched on to it as her perpetual 'justification' as to why she automatically 'wins' your space?

Not quite the same thing, but I used to know a colleague who constantly demanded priority in getting school holidays off as annual leave, for essential 'childcare' needs - long after her DDs had left for university!

The OP has her own disabled spot so doesn't need to do this, the neighbour does.

She can get a parking space designated if she applies to the LA, as the mother of a wheelchair user this isn't your responsibility.

This. @Chocolatecoffeecream if you keep engaging then it keeps giving her hope and you headaches! Just go brutal NC. If she asks you why you’re not replying just say you’ve got nothing to add to your previous advice that she formally apply to the council for a dedicated space in front of her house. Don’t elaborate further re that you also have a DC as you’ve already told her that and she doesn’t care. Keep it simple. Good luck!

Whoops, I managed to forget that between reading her post and typing my reply 🤣.

Oh God, not the Mumsnet note please! 🤦‍♀️

She already sees you as a bit of a wet lettuce, which is why she happily puts all these demands on you.

The next time she knocks, tell her she's really inconveniencing you and you won't be moving your car again.

Be firm but polite and then she'll have to find some other mug.

OP doesn’t have a dedicated disabled spot. The issue is if she’s parked closer to the NDN home she is constantly being asked to move - the cheek of it!

She needs to apply to the council and get a parking space painted on the road. She cannot expect you to be the solution here. She sounds very unusual if she thinks this is an ok thing to expect.

I think you’ll have to nip this in the bud. Next time she asks, say you’re in a rush/ in the middle of dealing with kids etc. if she doesn’t get the message after a few snubs, you could try explaining to her as you have here: that the expectation she could knock and expect you to move car at any moment is giving you anxiety. Even if that pisses her off, hopefully it’ll stop her demands. I really feel for you as you’re in a horrible position because of someone else’s entitlement.

Does she? I’ve reread the post and don’t see her mention it

When she jumps out at you just say NO and go inside etc.

I wouldn’t put a note through the door. I’d say ‘No, and please don’t ask again.’

What a cheek. Tell her to ask someone else and start walking with a limp whenever you see her. 'My sciatica is really playing up I can hardly walk for the pain'.

Do you have an actual, dedicated space that's yours? Or is it just a public road?

If it's yours - tell her to piss off and get her own
If it's a public road, it's first come, first served, so still tell her to piss off.

Get a ring doorbell or.similar so you can see if it is her at the door and.don't answer