Next door neighbour asking daily for my parking space

[Chocolatecoffeecream]

NDN has a child with disability, so do I. Our road is near a school and always busy. A few weeks ago she called me to say her dd was unwell and she couldn’t park near the house would I mind moving my car so she could have the space outside my house, I said yes of course and moved my car to the next road as there were not any nearer spaces but it wasn’t an issue for what I thought was a one off emergency.

Since then she is asking all the time , daily, if she can’t get a space and sees my car nearer the houses she calls and calls or parks elsewhere then knocks to say can I move as she needs the space as her dd is disabled. When I say no sorry I need the space she is getting really irritated. I said she should perhaps contact the council to see if they can add a disabled parking space ?
She knocked at 11pm one night last week to ask me to move as it would make it easier im the morning for her, I lied and said I’d had too much wine and she said ‘well give me the keys I’ll get dp to move yours ‘!

AIBU to put a note through her door to request that she stops doing this as it’s getting to the point where I feel harassed ?

Is it like a terraced street? can you not tell her to ask one of the other neighbours? Is there any parking permit areas?

Next time she asks just say 'No Sorry I need to be as near to my own house as possible for my child too, please stop asking & contact the council' If she keeps on at you just keep saying a firm no.

My neighbour does something similar, parks a big van on the verge outside my house!
Has plenty of room on his own drive and outside his own house.
I don't own a car but my family do and ot blocks the view when they reverse onto the main road.
Any suggestions?

I'm very interested to know what you did when your neighbour suggested her husband move your car. Did you hand the keys over? Did you say no then? If you said no, you have discovered that it's not that hard to say. Say no a final time and add "And please don't ask again. Contact the council." Close the door.

Also if she does get a blue badge space outside her house. Any blue badge holder can use it.
I found this out when I parked in a bb space and someone left a nasty note on my windscreen saying it was their personal space so I rang the council to double check I could use it as a bb holder and yes any eligible person can make use of it

What is ‘CF’?

Bloody neighbours. There's always one who will massively overstep then claim you've been unreasonable. Tell her to apply for her own marked space.

Indeed; and, "no." is a complete sentence. The OP doesn't owe the neighbour any explanation at all.

You do not need an excuse. The answer is no, without explanation.
If you feel this is too blunt, you can try "No, but I hope you find a space not too far away. It's difficult isn't it."
You do not owe her an explanation.
Good luck.

I feel like she’s trying to pull the old “my kid’s more disabled than your kid” game to try and claim ownership.

Block her number. First come, first served.

If her child has a blue badge then the Council will give her a disabled bay outside her house. Some Councils will only allow one bay within a certain distance which has to then be shared (no idea how that works).

Why should you let her park outside your house? Unless she is waiting on a blue badge and space but if her child is disabled I'm assuming this would have been done before.

Why can’t she park her car outside her house at 11pm ? It’s not busy due to school traffic at that time? Or just wait somewhere till the school run is over and park outside her house then? I don’t understand why she NEEDS your space so badly?& why she can’t grab a space between school runs when the road is likely abandoned

How has she managed all this time until recently?

Whilst I feel for her, sincerely, she can’t really expect you to move everytime can she?! Once im parked and in my house, there’s no way I’m moving my car daily for anyone.

Once in a while, sure, but not regularly.

In my experience, people with / families of people with visible disabilities believe wholeheartedly that they are more entitled to disabled parking spots .. I think society in general has this belief… look how many posts there are on here about people with invisible disabilities being questioned when they park in a disabled bay!…. I suspect your neighbour has been whing for ages about her perceived injustice that you have an allocated spot and she doesn’t.. people have probably validated this belief & told her to ask you to give it up for her to use… she’s probably hoping that by asking daily you’d realise she needed it so much more than you do… and just park elsewhere.. unfortunately because you haven’t just said an outright no, and instead either moved your car or given an excuse, she’s taken this as further confirmation that she NEEDS that spot & even you can see it!!
Next time she calls you or knocks you door give a firm… No, I’m sorry but I NEED the spot, tell her you have a sore back from having to carry son when you park further away and that the parking bay is needed for your sons safety & convenience… tell her how you applied for the spot and tell her if she contacts the local council she too can apply. If she says anything to push back or says it’s a hassle, just say ‘yea I remember, and that’s why after all the effort to get this spot I really need to use it!!or a simple - I can see your struggle but I struggle too and need that spot!! Stop making excuses @Chocolatecoffeecream & just tell her that while your sons disability is invisible he’s been assessed as entitled to the parking bay and you’d appreciate her not inconveniencing you going forward!!
It is so rude to knock someone’s door late at night - did you allow her partner to move your car? I hope not! That really shows a level on entitlement to YOUR space!if you had a drive and she didn’t - would she be asking to park there… probably!
Be firmer! JUST SAY NO
IF you can’t then absolutely text her or pop a note through explaining that you applied for the bay and we’re assessed as having a need for it, you still need constant use of the space and while you were ok for her to use it on the first request believing it to be urgent, you have not been and are not happy with the further requests from her to move your car further away which ultimately is endangering you son! Again writing ‘you can apply for a parking spot outside your house through the council! …

she has seen your kindness as a weakness and is taking the piss!!
In future when someone asks for a favour in an emergency point out that you’re happy to help as it’s an emergency but that in normal circumstances they need to find an alternate solution

@T1Dmama

I agree with your main points, but OP doesn't have a disabled bay outside her house: she is just finding a general free space on the road and using it.

The neighbour is then expecting OP to move her car potentially several streets away so that she can take the unrestricted space that OP had found and parked in instead.

The reason that the neigbour is giving for 'justifying' this is that she has a disabled DD. We don't know the extent of her disabilities, nor whether her DD is actually needing the car parked nearby everything her mum asks, or if the mum is just using it as a catch-all 'trump card' every single time she fancies a mire convenient space.

All we can really know is that either the DD's disabilities/needs don't/wouldn't qualify her for a blue badge, or otherwise her mum can't be bothered to apply for a disabled space. If the latter, maybe she has reckoned that any BB holder could use a space, if it were granted following her application; whereas at the moment, she sees OP's car as a placeholder for the space that she wants - and one that nobody else is realistically going to knock and ask her to move, ergo it's her exclusive space whenever she wants it, and OP can just get stuffed.

You gave her one time (emergency) for free. Now she's taking the piss.
It would be a resounding NO.

I would just say, No, but do let me know how you get on with your disabled parking application, thanks queen 😉

When DH was still working his space would be empty in the evenings he finished late at night. I’d get so anxious about people parking in it, particularly if it was icy out. His mobility is very limited. If he had to park more than a short distance away he’d have to get his scooter out, set it up and drive it to the door. Not something you want to do in the dark and cold when you are prone to falls. I’d always ask politely if they could move if I could. One woman shouted she had a badge. I pointed out there was a space directly outside the house she was visiting. If she parked by us she’d have to walk down the end of the road! It’s so much better now we have permit parking. Most people who park in it genuinely don’t notice the markings and are happy to move but I HATE asking. DH rarely goes out now so it’s not such an issue

The bays marked out on the street at the request of residents are only advisory. They are marked in white, and anyone with a valid blue badge can park in them. Many councils don’t police them at all, so theoretically anyone can park in them, with policing being left to other motorists and residents.

Also, what happens when the people for whom the disabled spaces were primarily installed no longer live there?

We're fortunate to have a drive, but parking on our road for most of the houses is at a real premium. There were two houses with BB holders living there, so the council eventually came and painted two disabled spaces for them.

Very soon afterwards, one of the disabled residents moved away (I presume they must have been waiting for a long time for the space) and then, a year or so afterwards, the other BB holder resident also moved away.

For some reason, the council came and 'removed' (well, burned off the white paint) one of the spaces, but left the other. Now that space is still there, never occupied, whilst the people who live there now are having to find somewhere else on a different street to park.

Knocking on your door at 11pm is insane behaviour! I know that not everyone can but this is the exact reason we bought a house with a driveway. It is the only way you can guarantee your own parking space. Otherwise you just have to take your chance with on road parking and it’s a lottery. The lady next door doesn’t have a drive and has a small baby and parked across the road outside our house once (basically the closest she can park to her house) and someone complained on the village Facebook page that they had to park down the road (about 4 houses down so not that far!) as there was ‘no parking outside their house’. They do have a driveway.

Tell your visitors to park on your neighbours grass verge! Or politely ask neighbour if they’d mind parking outside their own house!

The on street spaces marked in white are advisory only and theoretically anyone can park in them, blue badge or not. Many councils won’t enforce them and it’s mainly left to residents and other motorists to police.

Even if it marked with Disabled along the lines, plus signage saying Blue Badge only?

They’ve left one as a courtesy probably. But it’s important to note that disabled bays marked in white are advisory only, so anyone can park in them - even without a blue badge. The only action the council may take is to remove them if it becomes clear BB holders are not being prioritised. So if l were the new resident l would either apply to have it removed or just park in it anyway.